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Sanding his thumbprints off
He said will you love me like
I’m going to die or love me all the way?

Two weeks walking without you
Is a long time to find yourself
In a way without

Now I’m remembering other things
Like broken people that I want to
Love still, but are gone

Escaping into a room with an old air conditioner
Cut into the wall unfinished
A private moment away from ears
That would make me feel bad for
Having conversations at the benefit of
Recognizing the beauty of others

Years and the swollen face of
Mangled emotions in her eyes
A former partner that thought
She could handle her jealously better
But still ended up feeling conquered
By it

My inability to confidently dissuade
What she inherited from someone
Or somewhere emotionally

I found someone at a gas station
I had forgotten that you loved
She loved you too it was magic
And mesmerizing

I hugged her like I had never
Known her in the presence of
Another I thought too might be
Jealous of my affection

Important reminders
Running away to rooms under construction
To have private back and forth’s
Where nothing diabolical was happening
I just didn’t want to defend myself

The game had also changed
Each visit was for different reasons
And now I was mapping out all the
Incredible things you did
And wondering how you
Made it to so many places

She said strawberry spritz
And I heard Boston but you never told me

We laughed and cried together
I was afraid to get too close but
I still didn’t fight the resistance
To try playfully

Another cry

I suppose if people can’t control
Their feelings around caring for others
Their brother can help them work it out
Non intrusive thoughts about
My well being

And then tearing away at the fun

Laying in bed
Wondering how I was going to sell everything
That’s what my mind says
Even if it didn’t need to go anywhere
Or make any money
The feeling of being freed
From the weight of it
Was like opening portals
To deeper understandings

© GÄ