poetry – Poétique

Yoracle

Ask me not to die
I promise to open the door
When you call
Your oracle
I am the good sense
I am the thoughtfulness
I am in the little things

I would like to be loved
By you for such simple effusions
Regularly and not
Periodically
Because you need something

Even though I am your oracle
I wouldn’t mind if somehow
I became your point of interest
So you might say to yourself
I wonder how he is
And show up

How sensitively situated
Is my heart
Grooming the universe
Bathing in rivers
So far away you could touch me
Anywhere

Part of me plotting
Part of me forgetting
Part of me plotting
Part of me forgetting

I am your oracle
I signed up for that
A personal contract
Not always reciprocated

Like a pregnant island
North of adversity explicitly
Offering newsletters
For bettering instructions
To the shorts and the sweaters
You’re folding

I have decided an oracle house
Is something that I can’t help holding
In the right place at the right time
Come take your seat

My heart slides wide open with no
Reciprocation nor agreement

It’s not that I could love you
It’s that I do
It’s because how could I not
So many others probably
Already do
How could I be naught
Thinking about where you are
How could I be naught
Kissing your ghost
How could I be naught
Making out with your shadow
How could I be naught
Reaching out for you
In an empty bed
Filled with the eternal
Length of empty sheets to comfort the
Aching of what I would do
If you were lying next to me
Would you like my blue eyes
If you could see them
Would you study my hands
If you could touch them

Until I

Let thyself feel bad
Until I feel good
Wrestle round up and down
Beating at the bruise
Stars are twinkling less
Hands are working more
To want for better
Keeps the ink on every letter
Every uttered word
Should be so careful
And still I step on my words
A melancholic drag
Therefore I let myself
Feel bad until I feel good

A Modern Approach

Help me explore a new world
And the idea of you
If you say anything nice
I’ll cry
I don’t mind crying
But please don’t film it
Unless I’m acting
I don’t want the footage
To exist
I am currently seeking
A modern approach
To love
Like French kissing
Turning around my words
While my tongue is
Hyper aware of everything
That I’m saying
Some words fit and others
Feel like they were relevant
Such a long time ago
Maybe not anymore

Un

In all that I have achieved
I did not achieve you
You could not be achieved
Even if I could achieve God
And She could achieve me
You could not be be be
Mine this could not be be be
Ours

In all that I have achieved
I have achieved most from you
Tears and pain a few laughs
But incredible angst
Forever forgiving my love
For you was pure
My heartbeat hungry
To be received
The family
The womb of a home
But no bending would bring
Words and lashes of anger
Pushing me
Further and further and further
Away

Even if I wanted to be achieved
The fires were to great
Burning this heart of a home
To the ashes of a memory
And the willingness to
Be caressed by the wind
Of what I achieved if it was to
Be be be
It was my freedom

Handful

Only a handful of times did we
Make love
Did we we make love
In 7 years how many times
Not even once a year
Not even make up sex
Give up my good years
To not wake up next
To someone who deserved me
Mother me more than
Lover me
I don’t need a mother
Even more than just a lover
Someone to share
My heart with
Someone to give
My every part with
As much or as many
As a hand could grasp
Though it was only
A handful of times
Ironically it was also a
Handful to define
Our love

Flew

I was dreaming

We were
Cleaning

A big building
It reminded me
Of the church I grew up in
You

Asked me how to
Clean the stairs
You
Saw me cleaning stairs
I showed you how
You
Took the cleaner to
Clean the stairs we were
Both on our hands and knees
We
Both knew I had to
Catch a flight
I had to go
I have to go
Home
But you

Were exhausted
You weren’t sure
You
Wanted to come along
And then
After we finished cleaning
You
Jumped on my back
You rode piggy back and said
Okay I’ll come with you
And we
Escaped to the airport
To get our tickets
You and I
We finally

Came through

And then we flew

Everything Is Okay

How dare you break my heart
The people that hurt us
We might say this to
But they can’t apologize because they
Don’t know how and we
Just smile and say that it’s okay

Everything is okay

My reality is so powerful
The feelings that come through
About my perceptions
Are stronger than usual
Especially about you

The more difficult or new
The conversations that I’m having
The more telling the dream
Like an argument with a best friend
A lunch with a person
Whom is no longer a stranger
Somehow because
I thought I saw potential
But what did I see
When I saw you
Is it my pandemic brain
Or is it really true
Is this true?

What are we
Are we this
What is this
If this is everything

Than everything is okay

Nineteen

Do you like who you’re becoming
Do you remember who you were
Soft dramatic orchestral motions
Back and forth back and forth
This man stands before you healed
These ears try not to hear
The only way to keep a secret
Between two men is to kill one of them
But there’s forgiveness in the air
Don’t let your guard down
With forgiveness in the air
Something smells good
Is it the tapering of despair
So typically weak
But not enough quite yet
To speak the words
Premature or selfish
I need things to smell different
Somehow like they used to
Before I met you
Nineteen again

How ‘Bout Mars

Too much information
Am I
Too much contemplation
Do I
Speak too much when
Quiet time is quite enough
No one for me
No pity
Just can’t see ahead
Far enough
Far enough to see
No pity
No one here for me
Lots of speaking
Too much thinking
Wish the corners of your mouth
Would curl up somewhere
Next to me
I’ll be quiet now
There is
Too much information
Am I
Too much contemplation
Do I
Speak too much when
Quiet time is quite enough
You say maybe someone
Maybe no one is
Left standing on
This terrain for me
So how ‘bout Mars

Category: poetry