Better Habits

Landlocked like Serbia
Drinking a thimble of your poison
I could not have been
More shocked by your departure
Nor more relieved
That I should not also have to wait
For your return

© GÄ

Other Than You

I put my weight into it
Bandaged all the cuts
That threatened my excellence
Standing on a glacier
Cruising round the curves
Of your Antarctic heart

You are the perfect picture
Of my death as a living love
Mental anguish
Flailing around
There’s nothing to be gleaned
I let you manipulate me
Petulance on my part
So cathartic
To have you touch me again
With your words


I shouldn’t have trusted you
To love me
Are we so broken
That you can’t see over yourself
Having trouble
Hurdling over blameless pride
The bricks are stacked
Exceptionally high
Are there any feelings left inside
Almost no
A tragic sigh
And then comes the chance
For freedom

To lay next to someone
Other than you
To take their fragrant breath
Into my lungs
To find someone
Other than you

© GÄ


When I say that it hurts
When I tell you that you hurt me
You only say I hurt you too
You say you’re doing things
Too busy to respond
To any calls from my love
To all the texts from my heart
You couldn’t be bothered really
Inconvenient love
That’s me
I want to hear you say
I’m sorry that I hurt you
I’m sorry I’m too busy for your love
Too much going on
To share a moment at the time
That I needed you
Don’t ask this of me
You say
I give what I can
Not what you need
And when I say that it hurts
You only say that I hurt you too
You only say I’m busy
I’ve got things to do
Inconvenient love
Tell me you miss me
And then tell me to go away
How can I tell you that it hurts
When you can’t see me
I want to believe that you love me
But it’s always on your terms
It takes a long time
For the heart to relearn
How to love when the love
The heart loves isn’t loved
In return

Unrequited Love

Unrequited relinquish me
My indispensability leaves me
Like the leaves leave the trees
Open and vulnerably waiting
Just to see if he may consciously
Play dumb while his smile
Inadvertently romances me
The wit, the charm, the desire
For his arms reciprocally
Is there no escape
From this complex quality
Of love that cannot be
Exchanged equally
Is it indefinitely held
Suspended like a favorable sweet
Able to touch it but still
Somehow out of reach
Unrequited victim to myself
Addicted to this euphoria
Should it lead me to
Anxiety should it paint a path
Of negativity an embarrassment
To be held here by myself
In chains that only I sustain to be
What will become of me
In this unrequited love
Protagonistic means
To conjure covetable dreams
An unrealistically portrayed
Imaginary painting of our need
To be together differently
Than how we are in current sync
Unrequited love unselfishly
Accepting forlornly the suffering
In love euphorically deceived
Relinquish me for I cannot
It seems with years
Wrapped round my legs and arms
Of wanting this to be
More than it’s capable of being
I will not give away the friendship
I will not give away the time we’ve spent
I would not know how to
Relieve this
Even if I tried and I have tried
To turn it off
To name the moment
To kiss the stars
Unrequited love
It will always live with me
Just as you always will you see
Be locked inside my seams
I made an honest mistake
When I met you
To fall in love for you
Was not what I intended
Was not what I intended
Was not what I intended
But I believe
Even if it was never meant to be
My depth of love for you
Cannot be easily deceased
Nor could I know
And when from which way
Would I even fain retreat

© GÄ

I Have a Disease

I have a talking disease
I can’t seem to stop my lips
From speaking these things
I have a talking disease
It puts my trembling heart
At ease
At ease

I have a sharing disease
I can’t seem to stop my arms
From hugging everything
I have a sharing disease
It satisfies me just to please
To please
To please

I have a kissing disease
I don’t want to keep my mouth
Away from thee
Away from thee

I have a loving disease
An I can’t stop loving you disease
What a beautiful sickness
What a glorious flu
What a wonderful infection
Can you see what you do?

© GÄ

Love Hate

If it be war you seek
Slither away from me
Kiss me Kiss me kiss me
Hit me hit me hit me
Perhaps it is our hate
That drives us
And not our love
But would it not be the
Love to hate that drove us
So much more
I will not
Give up give up give up
Switch me switch me switch me
War is bloody and soulless
Lots of thoughts
One decision
Lots of thoughts
One decision
Lots of thoughts
One decision
If it be war you seek
Slither away from me
Kiss me Kiss me kiss me
Hit me hit me hit me
Perhaps it is our hate
That drives us
And not our love
But would it not be the
Love to hate that drove us
So much more
Because of love

© GÄ


Okay now I know
Not you not him not me
Not a dead grass field
Or tranquil salty sea
Kiss my forehead
Leave the traces
Of lips red
So others can behold
Your wanted love for me
Words slip out each side
Both corners of my mouth
Do they not say
How much I’ve loved thee
Or how long I’ve been
Accustomed to the
Howling gnashing tracks
Beg for forgiveness
On my knees
Do the genetics of the deep
Fanciful lesser traveled
Oceans grounds breed rocks
That can cure and heal
The troubles of a mind
Wrought with the sunburned
Lightless self impeded kind
Nor even in the light of day
Did lavender find a way
To live without the water
Necessary to turn the nose
Of each and every single one
It passeth by but I
Do now know it’s okay
Him not me not you
Nor horse chomping at the bit
Lest the fields be turned to flames
My fire starter tending embers
I should only ask to tattoo
What is left of what is red
Upon my head from
The havoc your sweet lips
Wreaked upon my heart

© GÄ

Peace Offering

There was a girl I once new
Adventurous and free
Chase the butterfly type
Tame the bee and so ready
To spring into life out of
Whatever begged to control her
To take away her freedom
To strip what liberated her
Innocently broken open
Like a dinosaur egg all
Crystalline within ready to shine
We think those parts of us
Are forever that they will last and last
That no shadow should fully
Overcast or arrange to suffocate
But something can creep in
There may not be a clear reason
She may not even know
Or he whomever this person could be
To you for me it was she
And when 19 turned into 45
She was not the girl
That used to be alive inside
She was the girl trapped in her own mind
Unaware of how to get out
No matter what I tried to do
To set her free
To help her chase the butterfly
To help her tame the bee
In many ways it was too late
Sometimes the gift we give
Is not to hold them back
But to set them free
I admit I held on earnestly
In the hope that one day I would awake
To see her face gleaming
As she did when we were kids
Even if you asked her
She could never shake it free to tell you why
She herself she was unsure
She couldn’t recognize how the outside
Detached apart from her could see
But I could see what she could not
And rather than be held down
By that pain and inability
I had to do what I could
To set my own self free
This my friend
If you have ever had to do
Might be the hardest thing
You’ll come to understand in truth
For there is no denying
The story that the heart can tell
Not of physical ailments for
A doctor in a hospital to diagnose
But one of spiritual nature
Responses given to conditions
That are not specific scientific
But beating inside
What we know as heartwarming
What we know as love
We can go on to share this journey
But in some cases where there is
Nowhere else to go
But inner peace
We must detach ourselves and rise
High above the heated grove
Of arguments and insecurity
Always leaving behind
Within our trail the sparkling gift
Release an offering of peace

© GÄ


Two hearts one beat
Love deeply so nature
Perceives our love
Which is everything
Earth and sky
Your body myself
You and I
They say that love
Alone is pure
Something even
The Gods will feel
When we shake the earth loose
Lose yourself in our love
While you love deeply
Sweetly in that love
Will you love me
As your body and yourself
You are the nature
The will of all love
Against my skin with
You at the center
Of our love
My love

© GÄ


Is it better to speak
About it or to die
When the most beautiful
Is too also temporary
Like brightest friendships
That disappear or hide
Tuck my head deep
Into the hottest romance
Only to know before
Too long this in between
Will soon fade away
Rather I hold my tongue
Or say what I feel
How will it feel the next day
Will I find two versions
Of our love twisted up
Inside of me
Or even one ripped
Open into two
Is it better to speak
About it or to die
Without unleashing
All the emotions bubbled up
Will my hands soon
Need to apologize
Will the sorrow of a belly
Feel the weight of
My forked tongue
Or will my steady beating
Haloed heart be quiet
Just this once

© GÄ