Wassailing through the morning
Silently to myself in a rush of text
Or memories of songs stuck in the head
Red lights glimmering on rocks
I’m barely aware of my legs
I’ve had thirty five years without you
But the last fifteen with you here
I’m unclear what the rest of it will be like
I made an oath to myself
That I should walk our regular path without you
And I’m keeping it today
To feel myself and find my strength
In general, it does not compute as though
Many can relate to this repetition
Going at your pace, standing at corners
Feeling the absence of you there slowly
I wonder if you feel it on the other side
Our spiritual bind is strong
But our physical bond has been broken
I walk where you no longer walk
Where you were once disoriented
Now, so am I without you
I have so many seasons to go
In this way
Breathing the loss of your presence
It’s not much different than the pain
Others feel for themselves I imagine
But when you accept the same rhythm
For so long, so comfortable so soft
So absent
It is almost its own kind of torture
To have loved and then to have lost
© GÄ
Poétique 