My Dear

I might get a little attached
But how attached am I
How far will I take it
How bold can I be
If I want to say
I like you
Tell you outright
It’s too much right?
Or is it
Maybe not tonight
But maybe tomorrow right?
No blood shed here
Just thoughts of love
My dear

My dear can I call you that
Or will I scare you away
I think I’ll ask you straight out
What frightens you
So I know then what not to say
I want to write words for you
To you I want to be a part
Of what we could be if
You let me if I can be
Courageous enough
To speak without fear
To call you my dear
By your name

Could you like me too
Is it too soon to know
Maybe Monday will show
I want to kiss you
Is it too soon
I want to hold you
Is it too soon
I want to tell you how I feel
Is it too soon
Could it be that you
Are capable of hearing
All these things
That I could say
That I won’t scare you away

I can try
I need to pull up my trousers
Push up my sleeves
And say fuck it

Do you like me…

© GÄ

Back At Me

You read me
Like an open book he said
I just threw my head around
In every which way
I wanted him to like me
But then what would I do
If he actually did
Maybe grow my hair out
Or paint my bedroom walls blue
There was that one color
I really liked
Similarly to his eyes
I wonder if I could hide my
True feelings if he asked
When he came over
If he came over
About the blue walls
I painted them blue
Because of you
You are so beautiful
Nah, probably just lie
And say I wanted to remember
That time I was with my favorite
Childhood best friend
Who was also a dog
A beautiful dog
More beautiful than any human
I’ve ever encountered
Except for you I could say
Really it’s just a dream
Unless he actually came to
Sit with me on my bed
Looking up at the ceiling
I count all the spots I can see
In hapless wonder
I think what a joy it would be
To have him smile
Back at me

© GÄ

Permissions

I’m not locked in
Are you locked in?
Is this even possibly the
Beginning of sweet liberation
I’m drawing polka dots
To connect later
With my favorite pen
In the shape of a metaphor
But not without your permission

I watch certain moments
Wake up within me
But I’m not really sure
Or unsure if hysterically
There were laughs that I was
Somehow missing in between
Like being born without
A parent who could teach me
Any other language than
American English
Still filled with filial piety

They say take the hand your dealt
Make the most of what you’ve got
What have I got?
A paintbrush a toothbrush
A hairbrush and a plot
To better fulfill the best parts
Hoping they don’t change
At least not more than say
The usual amount

I like tall not necessarily
Easy to define moments
Hiding behind subtle descriptions
A little fear for touching them
And finding out what could be possible
Or maybe even what could be
Taken away if I touched it
Even once

Don’t lose your step or trip up
Or position in permission for
Your metaphor or the hope of
What I wish for which is
What I must become
Which is not what I
Was necessarily given

© GÄ

Love Hate

If it be war you seek
Slither away from me
Kiss me Kiss me kiss me
Hit me hit me hit me
Perhaps it is our hate
That drives us
And not our love
But would it not be the
Love to hate that drove us
So much more
I will not
Give up give up give up
Switch me switch me switch me
War is bloody and soulless
Lots of thoughts
One decision
Lots of thoughts
One decision
Lots of thoughts
One decision
If it be war you seek
Slither away from me
Kiss me Kiss me kiss me
Hit me hit me hit me
Perhaps it is our hate
That drives us
And not our love
But would it not be the
Love to hate that drove us
So much more
Because of love

© GÄ

Particles

Okay now I know
Not you not him not me
Not a dead grass field
Or tranquil salty sea
Kiss my forehead
Leave the traces
Of lips red
So others can behold
Your wanted love for me
Words slip out each side
Both corners of my mouth
Do they not say
How much I’ve loved thee
Or how long I’ve been
Accustomed to the
Howling gnashing tracks
Beg for forgiveness
On my knees
Do the genetics of the deep
Fanciful lesser traveled
Oceans grounds breed rocks
That can cure and heal
The troubles of a mind
Wrought with the sunburned
Lightless self impeded kind
Nor even in the light of day
Did lavender find a way
To live without the water
Necessary to turn the nose
Of each and every single one
It passeth by but I
Do now know it’s okay
Him not me not you
Nor horse chomping at the bit
Lest the fields be turned to flames
My fire starter tending embers
I should only ask to tattoo
What is left of what is red
Upon my head from
The havoc your sweet lips
Wreaked upon my heart

© GÄ

Yesterday

It’s going to get worse
Before it gets better
She said and then I
Wrote her a letter
Lots of blue ink and
A Roman candle
Dripping wax on paper
Sealed with a brass cast
Of all the feelings I’ve been
Sitting with for years
Every sentiment I kept
Wound carefully in burlap
Hidden beneath the last board
Of the wrap around porch
I spent every summer on
For the past seven years
Years of trying to say
The words that cannot seem
To find their way
Still to the surface of my
Pale pink wet lips
It’s the best that I can do
To send the letter off to you
Now that it’s better
After the worst of it
Drifted off like dust
Into the backyard of our memories
Into the broken earths crust
I always thought
The lava would bubble up
Molten feelings of the
Forgotten sense of friendship
Turned to romance turned to
What happened to the
Only time I saw myself
Running away
Somehow still standing
In the same place
A gold earring and
A broken piece of clay
The center of what matters
No longer being held hostage
Was I just a boy
Or now am I a man
Free to say what I finally
Always wanted to say
In a letter now that it’s better
Than yesterday

© GÄ

Be Here Now

Slow rock music continues
Floating above us
When I’m around you
You say be here now
I’m trying to figure out how
Did I get here in the first place
I mean
To be clear enough to say
To recall the things
I put into a box that day
Well enough to open it up again
Magic almost like this sunrise
Or tucking ourselves
Back inside under the covers
Hide our eyes
Hide your eyes
Hide my eyes
I want to make sure you are ready
For the next two days we have
The next two weeks we have
The next two years we can
Get away again
Like tonight in somber light
Except without the wasted time
Most people spend
Trying to figure out how
Be here now you said
To be clear enough to love
The most we can
Before we’re dead

© GÄ

To Each Their Own

You know to admit that I was good
For you is very hard
Like you lost something
The competition has been won
It’s over that part is done
Liberated into my own
Though I made ground for you
To stand on to give great
It would be ever too much
To accept such love to open up
For to you it feels as if you
Soon would break
All the tears you cried
Ah at all the wrong times
I never could make sense
Of why I was the one in pain
Comforting you
It was my duty to take care
And in your way you took care too
And now we take care of ourselves
On either sides of moving glaciers
Beautiful sparkling blue
You know I sometimes wonder
What is it that makes people
So purely selfish
It’s a gift I think that is given
To those who need not give back
But only to themselves
Sometimes I wish I knew this gift
But mostly I just think that with it
I’d be lonely

© GÄ

Stalemate Solution

Will you let me go and fetch him
Run across the way
Grab a boat down at the slip
Beg for him to stay

Love does not delight in evil
They say rejoicing with the truth
Protecting you always trusting too
Always hoping you would say
My bad I hurt you

My heart with purpose quills
To soar above a thoughtful need for this
No one can tell you
How to feel better except you

The resentful pain of not telling it
I don’t want to hurt you
So I carry the weight of it
A paper weight of it
A kettlebell
Wrapped ‘round my heart
I will not forget our story
I promise x

Climbing up the hill losing traction
Falling on my face is no different
Than a stalemate solution
No one wins but love
Because love existed
Even if a long term resolution
Never could

© GÄ