I thought I wanted to give up
But then I realized the mail
Would have nowhere to go
Climbing overhead into the upstairs
Attic I peeked into a small
Opening and saw a place
That I remembered hanging
Out in with all of my favorite things
Part of me didn’t want to leave
And part of me felt like I was
Just ordinary as if the things
That made me special were
The same as everyone else
And there was no one to tell him
Any different
I remember holding my cat and
Crying like this once before
Sixteen years ago and still
A feeling of being alone
Except this time it was because
I had everything he needed
Or wanted but still felt unseen
Buying gifts for people one barely knows
How silly who’s doing that?
Someone’s husband is going to
Want to wrangle you to the ground
Someone’s girlfriend will feel
Threatened!
I’m sorry I thought this was how
We got to know one another or
To show that we care
Thinking about it
Almost made it worse; like apologizing
There was no way to confirm
That he was extraordinary
Until he was gone and then
People would say
Whatever they say, when you’re gone
It’s just extra lonely without
His true companion
That walked with him
Every morning weeks ago
And he ached from a time before
He knew that light to fill him
Was back ago and with everything
He had he also had nothing
Again once more
“Maybe I’ll stay,” he said
At least to have somewhere
I can retrieve the mail.”
© GÄ
Poétique 