Geino Äotsch

Lies

Lips lies lots of lies
Rumors just to hide
The actual truth not really
What you thought it was
Funny changes making
Truth appear beneath
Your lips lies lots of lies
Borderline personality
Cries needs more attention
Thought she could say
So many things that
Weren’t actually true
Good for you but
No reward because
The truth will come out
In the end and soon
Really soon so hurry up
If you plan to enjoy
Your false sense of hope
Your dreams of being
The victim of a crime
The queen of dope
That never existed
You’re on your way
To pure demise when
They all find out
About your lies
Hanging yourself
Lots of lies and lips
Are blue with rumors
Just to hide the truth
That you never wanted him
He was just a way to get
To another place to another
Guy to another state
To another country
Where it all ends up
In the same way that
It started built on lies
Ends in lies
Prettier flowers
When you tell the truth
Roses for honesty
No need to pretend
No roses for you
Telling stories
Try to remember
Your fairytales
If it’s not a lie
It’s already true
If you tell the story
That actually happened
Your memory is
Happily ever after

Autopilot Sentiments

On autopilot
Looking for a place
Where I could be
Emptying out
My emotions
So many feelings
Emoting in a
Drought of activity
So many memories
Rushing about
I saw your picture
Hanging on my wall
I forgot it was
Hanging there at all
You used to remind me
Of the things
I wished in time
Would truly never end
Where does time go
Nights upon nights spent
Braiding down your hair
8 more months
And Christmas will be here
I’m the only one
Who ever touched your hair
As much as I did and so
Remember do you remember
On autopilot over here
Looking for a place
Where I could be
Emptying out
My sympathies
Sentiments all spilled out
Onto the floor
Circle of affections
Curled up
Into a ball
I could never get to that
Place again like we were before
And still Christmas
Will be here in 8 months or so
And I still remember braiding
Down your hair from years before

Good Stuff

Sometimes life is
Like a bad movie
A headache in the making
Heartbeat
Fast asleep
Dreams of singing cover
Songs in Czechoslovakian
Stop breathe
Wait and see
Climb into the loft
With me
Hang out in a memory
An end to winter
Walking barefoot
Under the stairs
I remember nights
Like that only
It wasn’t just about
Meaningless stuff
Most of it was good

Somewhere Else

Self destructive need
To defy authorities
Probably won’t choke out
The fact that you don’t care
Doesn’t matter anyway
Remember the conversation
We had about being too much
Keeping up with the
Usual opportunities
It’s nice to know we can
Live to jump again
Close encounters
With the potential
Suspects for clinical
Undermining are not
Only a matter of public
Concerns but a fact
Which has been disrupted
Even a bottle tossed
Into the sea
Cannot answer
Is the back and forth
Deserving of a dose or two
Would Thorazine
Cure the symptom
Or just cause more frequent
Tongue thrusting in the end?
If the gods of transportation
Could be kind enough
To provide an exit route
Then I suppose
There are worse things
Than being crazy
Somewhere else

Someone Again

Eating soup eating soup
Nothing left broken teeth
Underneath nothing left
Still we cover up the crime
In the clink of our endgame
Inside the body arrived
Black web of deception
What is easy, what is hard?
One step at a time
Ringside we decide
One step at a time
Maybe the Bahamas
Maybe Greece
Or Copenhagen
Old old young
Someone again
Wake up one day
Old old young
Light eyes dark eyes
Circles and lies
Friendship cries
I remember you
Invincible
People try to warn you
A little bit short
On the remaining balance
A trip to Mexico go, go
Cheaper there
Go because we’re not
Getting any younger
Go because you want
To live fifty years longer
Be someone again
Go because you’re
Gonna wanna kiss
Someone again

Empathy

Seeking empathy will
Gain you nothing
So many days I have
Wandering in aimlessness
Where has all the
Empathy gone?
Was I living under
Some rock
When the devotion
To greedy emotion
Settled in
Head in a trash bag
Or under a shadow
I swear only a pillow
In my sleep
Did it happen in my sleep?
That I woke up from a dream or
Some made up fantasy
That people are
Capable of empathy?
Folks comparing their own
Breakdowns and setbacks
To yours because they can’t
Climb out of their
Own pits and here
I see myself running round
Chasing empathy
Hoping you’ll see me
Chasing empathy
Wondering recklessly
Chasing empathy
Feelings escaping me
Chasing empathy

Become

Each note
Each line
Every chord
I design
Haunts the hallway
With drowning sounds
Of suffocation
Chewing away the tears
Letting out
Again in backbends
I find
Finally with flowers
Prominent laughter
I see smiling
Glints of
What was forgotten
And what can
Become found

Outline

Is it my own disdain
That plays make believe
With myself about the
Unsightly behaviors of others
Or a perfectionistic trait
To want the best outcome
For us all
Am I attacked
Or the attacker?
A silent encroachment
A timid lunge
An irritation that
Scratches at the back
Of my head exploding
My mind into what is
Suddenly shattered
Broken in mirror-like
Shards of brightness
Highlighting the darkest
Parts of the back spatter
Of a lifetime of fun
Only outlined, chalked
Crime de la cœur
Two possible explanations
Boredom or voracity
Either way only
Tenderness can find
A way through the maze
Of oversensitivity
A little context in foreign
Castrating remarks
Neither clever or otherwise
Smart enough I
Parry and shirk out the guardrail
Opening up

Sober and Alone

She wants only for herself
She wants only for her
She waits only for herself
She waits only for her
Nothing left
Nothing left
Bouncing off
The hopeless hap
The helpless gap
The hapless crap
She wants only for herself
I don’t believe that
It can’t be true
I need a smoke
I need a drink
I need more time to think
But I prefer to do it
Sober and alone
With a piano
Passed out drunk
On the floor
Intoxicated only
By the music
Of my deafening heartbeat

Happily Escaped

You don’t apply the same
Expectations you have on others
To yourself and everything’s
A syndrome of something else
Fuck the syndromes
Maybe we’re just human
What happens when the love
Breaks down and the brutal
Emotional stabbing goes on
Lest life abandon us all
Must we find time to enjoy it
Before we come
To the end of it all
Say goodbye to the cunt
Of an existence
That was holding you back
A person
A place
Or a thing
Waking up from the night
Of denial I am reminded
Of a future self
Almost presented as
A past recollection
That you are only
Looking out for yourself
Driving a wedge
You may weaken your own
Empathy by placating
A cinematic character
Of yourself in some
Casablancan way
Being consciously capable
Befalling my actions
I have happily escaped