Mal Voix

I don’t deserve delicious
Self deprecating wishes
I don’t deserve the moon
The sun can turn its face too
I found my father’s touch
Of gloom in my veins
Residuals of pain remanufactured
In me the stress of eternity

Stretching to be better than
The very best of good
I cry to laugh instead of
Remembering the cruel
Cool, cool, cool

Do other humans
Scold themselves or
Overthink to the hilt of difficult
What if you are truly someone
And you still feel like no one

Make champion to the disdain
Exonerate my guilt
The given displeasure of
A childhood I didn’t request
Feel the love spilt over the ground
Of a father who also forgot
About his sons
Drowning in themselves
Or rivers that pull us under
His best whatever that is

I don’t deserve deliciousness
If I am his I am at best nothingness
Like hugs and affection and
Kisses and pardons and wishes
Granted by the sea I am the
User my mama said I am
Ungrateful my father said the
Sky is darker than it was the
Day before there is no lawyer
For self inflicted discontented
Polydactyl internalized sewer like
Sores of contradiction

To be truly honest
The vulnerability forces its way
To the top but at what cost
Broken glass against the skin
Or walk with wounds from
Deep within we carry on…

© GÄ

Mère de Misère

I don’t want you to be dark
I told her
I need you to be hopeful
There’s enough
Darkness in the world

Unreasonable wishes

She loves you with a
Broken heart
Even months in between
Next time a year

Is it a penny for your thoughts
What would it take to bring
The light out of your tunnels
Into my heart to welcome me
With yours

Life can be dark
But I don’t want that with her
I hear myself talking
And I know
I don’t have to say
A word

Greatness comes with
Her darkness because
Everything else
Is early

I know we know
Tension
We share blood
Even bad blood

It’s your time to be
Sustainable with me
Don’t talk about dogs getting kicked
And brothers getting bit

Somehow you make sad
Shamelessly sadder

There’s a space for that
Numbers work
The seasons pass
A comfortable pink
An optimistic sound with you

Nonexistent

It is impossible to trust
The darkness that keeps the faith
With you, a pyramidal parent

Delusional sibling
Resistance assured on my part
I bang my head out loud

Why did I call? Broken lines

© GÄ

Maybe

It’s weirdly bright outside
I imagine that the world is hungover
I want to hear all the stories
What makes the universe get up
In the morning

I often wish my work was
Something of the greats
Another mindstate to be had
The writing good or bad
A taste of the ancients

I forgot myself early today
Cried with my head hanging over
I knew that it meant it would
Never be the same

Reflecting on what could be good
Comes from the terrible bad
So I don’t throw the unclear away
I read over it sometimes
Like a worthless piece of art
My critical eyes abusively

Unsure of what is good
Reading through it the heart laughs
“You thought this was worth keeping!”
It’s true. Some if it is not bad

It will read differently
When we’re eighty years young

A little displaced like an
Upside down lawnmower
Making my way
Cutting through the air
Something with a purpose
But nothing to receive it

Where’s the landline
My grounding wire

© GÄ

Anymore

Are you evil
With all your friends
Or just the ones
You want to miss the most?
Devouring all innocence
Hungry for more hearts
A secret cave
For killing love
Black eyed
Black heart
Ignorance plays
A solitary part
A bit like getting
Shot in the ass
I just wanted to connect
But I was met
With a world
That was too busy
A face that was
Too pretty
Your absence
Makes you guilty
To the murder of
Our friendship
Your silence is a
Criminal impersonation
For the deceptive one who
Used to plan their
Destination into my arms
Pretend to be there
Pretend to charm
But what you really end up being
Is alarming if you think about
What we used to have
Think about love
The meaning of flowers
Funny how nobody wants
To think about that
Anymore

© GÄ