feelings

Chinese

Optimistic heart panting
It’s like living right on
The absolute edge of
Something very exciting
Trembling just before it all
Falls apart

Is it fair to say that I’m scared
Are my defenses up?
Shoot my shot
Feel out possible love
And watch you
Not return it

I’m bad at this
Just relax and have fun
Don’t fuck it up
They say…

Find everything wrong with
You before I give in
Then I won’t have to
You know, show up
Can’t mess that up
If I decided that
You already did
Even before you
Had a chance
To prove me wrong

Relaxing in
Take the moment
With you
It’s just dinner
Laugh and have fun
See what happens

1000 Feelings

Would it just be a hidden gem
Like the leftovers in the fridge
To be finding that special person
Like your keys that you lost
In the woods after a twelve mile hike

There are parts of my life
That I have built around me
And they are all dying
As I watch the parts dwindle
Away one by one

Does she want to watch my life
Fall apart or is she there to share
Condolences in social media
It feels fake to have someone
Show up for the sadness in your life
But not to celebrate the bliss
Encourage my happiness
Cheerlead the wins

Like a tower that’s crumbling
I find my strength in a moment
Where I can share it deeply
And then there are those who
Will return it in undeniable
Waves of truthful vibrations
Genuine feelings of gratitude
If we are trudging it is through
Lush swamps of love

If my feet are stuck
They are stuck in that

Blackeyed love

My words may be broken a bit
But the heart sets the tone
For a better spoken lip

Orotund

Orotund feelings leading
Up to exasperation
Hungry for a calm moment
Petrified and waiting for
One I think will never come
Probable and unlikely
Striking a deep nerve
Looking for a noble citizen
Someone to take me seriously
Someone who can laugh
At themselves and at
My ridiculous nature
I need to take a breath
My sleep is disenfranchised
Suspended like a pendulum
Swinging back and forth
Over the memories I’m creating
Pretty compelling I’m so
Exhausted I hope I can
Remember who I am tomorrow

Huh

Weird how I was thinking about
Writing something down without
Love or finding love or love
Finding me but then I got
Caught up thinking about
Who I would be writing this around
A bunch of make believe
Lots of fantasy talk in my
Mind and my romantic dreams of
Writing again something that
Is actually real but not until you
Get here already or at least for now
You know how I really feel

Get over it
The lazy crush that hangs on
Where we float past each other
Feelings don’t just melt away
My eyes mesmerized
With you
Framed in a distinct border
You say my eyes are blue

Our precious time
Watch the clock
Along the exact same line
Countless theme
Of every eyelash
Every mole
Every freckle you behold

We are a pair of stone
Elephants attempting
To make the sound
Trunkless
Glancing around
Whatever we dream
Tickles the unseen
Bloom behind
Confused attention spans
Landing in a puddle
Of emotions
That wait to be redeemed

Remains
Claimed by lips that
Mutter or emit
What we can tell
Only of our secrets together
Smudge off the impossible
And our bodies are the temples
Imperishable in a birthless surrender
A house of cards
Glued together
With possibility

Feelings don’t just melt away
And they don’t always meet
Each other the same way