Poem – Page 17 – Poétique

Innocente

There is no such thing
As a relationship where
No one gets hurt

I can barely hold my eyes
Open long enough to see
The future of what it can be

Inside my head
Inside my head
It’s almost dead
It’s almost dead

Ocean views and
Covered in foam
A moment before
Nothing left to lose
Connect me

If we have to wake up
Do we have to be there?
Can we zombie it out

Someone else split the difference
Someone else do it for me

My heart breaks to see
The sweetest child share pure joy
About the little things
Resonates the dark parts
Of my world that I don’t
Feel seen or heard in

Turn the lights down
Remember innocent laughter

Time will heal it
Time will heal it

Bilræs

She feels new in someone else’s arms
Like a race to get to the next one
Just a portfolio on her phone
Swiping humans to decide who
Will be the next president
To her racetrack for the night

Funny the people we invest in
Can find ways to disappear
Without saying goodbye or
Thank you or really anything
Unless you ask and even then
You may get nothing or just
A story that is a lie that still
Feels like nothing
No oil no gas
No juice in the tank
To last

When the speedway is empty
I wonder what it feels like
Just to have quiet

No engine revving

Sit underneath the happy light
That should make up for the
Unrequested abandonment
The messages you sent to
Make someone feel better
Visit their house
Carry them out
Be their best option

Until they don’t need you
Any longer

Turn to the nearest convenience
Didn’t matter if you were there
For them and they signed off

You wonder where did they end up?
Feeling new in someone else’s arms
Like a race that had to end
A journey that could never
Last forever

A false friend

Waves

Vernal blooms are opening
A way to see a new opportunity
On an old path that keeps
Trailing in the most adroit stages

Observe how folks know not
How to respect or love and then
Observe yourself in the moment
As someone who has taken
Initiative to care for others
Even in the midst of this
Unfeeling and cold climate

Was there a mental capacity
That shifted when we walked
Through the space as a professional
Is it a brainwave that operates
Differently because we wear
Slacks and not sweats
Hair tied up or down
Makeup no makeup
Who are we underneath it all

Seasons change and so do we
Do they also define what we
Become at the edge of our
Fingertips

Recarpet the bedroom
Dust the corners of the space
Try and retrace what you wanted
And who you were before you
Started asking questions about
The meaning of life

Losing track of the beginning
Maybe there is no end
Grab hold of what you have
The world is leaking
Time to surf

Treedance

If you don’t want to be consumed
Maybe it’s easier to let go
Fuzzy bear holds you close
Soft and fluffy delicate texture
On your face every place
Something softer than reality

I guess it doesn’t matter
When the page turns
It’s time to take charge
Of whatever situation
Is attempting to scramble
Your surroundings

Fresh herbs coming in
Helps to forget about the past
Harvest of tomorrow feels like
Shedding all your woes
Dropping all your clothes
Just naked for the future

Missing a friend time to
Sit on the couch
Time to listen to a record
Or lose yourself in the laughter
Something real not just
An experiment for your feelings
Genuine love tangled up
In the air with a true friend

What did the others want?

Possession

You were her possession
Something for her to win
A thing she always wanted
To have only for herself
Again and again
This is not love
Hang onto the dream
Try to relive it
But she won’t want anymore
What she already had
Excitement is high
Fulfilling the fantasy
But it is only to have you
So no one else can
And to tell all her friends
That she won you
That she wanted you
Only to win you
She finally had you
This is not love
It’s like motion sickness
Being chased all over the states
It’s like being hunted
Followed until the only
Choice left is to say yes
That’s the case
A feeling of being
Needed and wanted
You cannot escape
Even trying to get away
Still she comes for you
It’s agreed and
You think you are winning
A family a home children
When she gets there
You are hers again
She is what you always wanted
But not in this way
You are her possession
Take a jet fly away
Un voyage over an ocean
Of tears and leftover sadness
For being alive because
He loved a ghost
Something that wanted to
Hold him back
Keep him even from hisself
This is not love
To tell everyone he is mine
To show the world she chides
You are hers and he
Smokes too many cigarettes
After too many glasses
Of red wine and pain to disbelieve
Mournings of headaches
And trying to remember
And not enough sleep
And she holds him in the cage
Which is a fake enclosure
For her heart she mistakes
And he wants to know
How to be free from the love
That he thought truly wanted to
Hold him up not
Hold him down

Build him up not break him down
This was not love

Gravel

I worked so hard to
Put it together just right
Every stone in place
In every color every detail
When it was time to move it
To the top deck I placed it
On wheels and rolled it
Over cobblestones
And other bumpy terrain
Until I got to the stairs
Where I called out for help
I thought it would be someone
I knew to trust behind me
And as we both worked
Lifted up the tower it
Started to fall apart
Into so many pieces
Before my eyes all my effort
Even the top came off
Instantly on the ground
I tried not to get upset
But the uncertainty
Of the person who was
Helping me who was not
Whom I thought it would be
With green hair and peculiar
Despair I don’t know you
Climbing to the top
My father and my brother
Smiling standing behind
A counter of cuisine
I’m asking where were you!?
I needed you!
But I can choose to start over
Even if I climb down to
Pick up the top of my
Outdoor stone creation
Multicolor rocks and grey
You can build it again
I say

Ballooning

I don’t know how much more
There is left to disregard
How much can a person
Take of insensitivity?

Yellow blanket
Run for cover
Hiding under the
Detestation of stress
Embrace the nothingness
Feel yourself exploding

Nobody to see you
No one to wonder where you are
Where are you really

The weight of the stars
The headache of no sleep
You’re losing yourself
I’m confortable in
The middle of nowhere

Grass at the back of your head
Whatever matters today
Matters less tomorrow
Who’s awake
Who’s sleeping

Brontide

Bamboozled me into believing
Something else was true love
My success is her demise
Even if she walks like a ghost
In the background of my life
She is ingrained in the fabric
Of my watery living past
Left to haunt me like an apparition
That only he who remembers
Or chooses not to forget by
Looking back through images
Like a video in his mind
And pictures of a vibrating history
Shaking the walls of his soul
Is left desultory to want to believe
Real care existed or did it just live
In the past not consistent anymore
Or forever a stratagem to
Love without measure
This was always his hope

Hyaline

In a transparent plastic free
Earth like experience he
Let go of all the other crap
That was holding him back
But in wild wonder still had
Enough left in him to be
Graceful with even the
People that didn’t want
To care or know how he was
Is it because when we let go
We give up our best selves
In a permission thrown
Over the fire all the words
That we need to take flight
Even without a response
It seems impossible to
Request that if any person
Should want to smile back
Share the existence
Or same sentiment
Of what he recognized
In the gorgeousness of the past
Where it belongs
Where it can be left
Where it also lives on

Oiseaux

Multifariously desisting
Licking his wounds he
Rips the facade out of his eyes
Dances on the table
Stumbling off into the
Unexpected arms of
A welcoming and loving
Ground that only wants
To be a cold comfort
Rather not scream
Out loud getting
Ourselves into more
Trouble but wouldn’t
It be satisfactory to
Hear some delicious
Calls from the wild
Beckoning out of the dark
Hollow to love us
Without haunting us
In such a way that
A payback has yet to
Return knocking at the
Soles of our bones
Rattling the towers
Where all the bells hung
He tucked himself
Low enough to holler out
Unnoticed but sang
Instead to the pigeons
Ah to be wanted
By something
Even if it were
Only birds