Cōnstellātiō

I’m running what feels like
A big constellation
Over here keeping track
Of every part of my heart
Every element every star
Familiar with every point
Knowing where to go
I feel the location and sense of
All of the dots I’m connecting
Soul map self map major and minor
In the summation of my whole
All the working lines
Forming a picture pattern
Of my life particles assigned
Parts I have kept
Parts I’ve let go
Where I’ve set things down
Where I’ve strung things up
Asterisms that define
My existence as a whole
Hanging in the upper left corner
Of every day and time
Orienting the clusters
Of my home in the reflection
Of my eyes
Meaningful fragments
In the sky of my mind
In the celestial sphere
That combines
A set of stars a set of parts
For you to look upon
To observe them
And to guide if you look up
To the sky through the North Sea
Mountain wide
Head heart and divide

© GÄ

Trying

Rapscallion
It’s too bad
She stepped
Between us
Wrong partner
Right effort
Many efforts
Dancing with
Yellow hair
Every color
Every shade of love
Every altitude
Up against the world
And our own
Personal Ursula
Keys to our
Own hearts
Swallowed by
An unexpected
Attractive and
Mysterious gate keeper
Traveled a long way
To get here
Through old friendships
And new experiences
Different titles
Different roles
Every possible
Star in the sky
Has looked down
Upon our eyes
And witnessed
Our possibilities
Thank you for
Fighting and
Thank you for
Trying

© GÄ

Too Wild

Divine intervention
If you were able to see your
Future self would you
Be pleased of what you saw
Or would you try to pull back
From where you are now to
Better your outcome
Fear of admitting fault
Is commonplace these days
People in general seem miserable
Is there a place where
Anyone is happy on earth
People are happy to hear
From you but unlikely to
Reach out on their own
My imagination is
Running too wild
With the possibility
I saw a girl with long hair
Walking, looking down
At her phone and smiling
She’s happy in her
Own little world
But this is not some place
You can buy a ticket to

© GÄ

Lies

Lips lies lots of lies
Rumors just to hide
The actual truth not really
What you thought it was
Funny changes making
Truth appear beneath
Your lips lies lots of lies
Borderline personality
Cries needs more attention
Thought she could say
So many things that
Weren’t actually true
Good for you but
No reward because
The truth will come out
In the end and soon
Really soon so hurry up
If you plan to enjoy
Your false sense of hope
Your dreams of being
The victim of a crime
The queen of dope
That never existed
You’re on your way
To pure demise when
They all find out
About your lies
Hanging yourself
Lots of lies and lips
Are blue with rumors
Just to hide the truth
That you never wanted him
He was just a way to get
To another place to another
Guy to another state
To another country
Where it all ends up
In the same way that
It started built on lies
Ends in lies
Prettier flowers
When you tell the truth
Roses for honesty
No need to pretend
No roses for you
Telling stories
Try to remember
Your fairytales
If it’s not a lie
It’s already true
If you tell the story
That actually happened
Your memory is
Happily ever after

© GÄ

Autopilot Sentiments

On autopilot
Looking for a place
Where I could be
Emptying out
My emotions
So many feelings
Emoting in a
Drought of activity
So many memories
Rushing about
I saw your picture
Hanging on my wall
I forgot it was
Hanging there at all
You used to remind me
Of the things
I wished in time
Would truly never end
Where does time go
Nights upon nights spent
Braiding down your hair
8 more months
And Christmas will be here
I’m the only one
Who ever touched your hair
As much as I did and so
Remember do you remember
On autopilot over here
Looking for a place
Where I could be
Emptying out
My sympathies
Sentiments all spilled out
Onto the floor
Circle of affections
Curled up
Into a ball
I could never get to that
Place again like we were before
And still Christmas
Will be here in 8 months or so
And I still remember braiding
Down your hair from years before

© GÄ

Good Stuff

Sometimes life is
Like a bad movie
A headache in the making
Heartbeat
Fast asleep
Dreams of singing cover
Songs in Czechoslovakian
Stop breathe
Wait and see
Climb into the loft
With me
Hang out in a memory
An end to winter
Walking barefoot
Under the stairs
I remember nights
Like that only
It wasn’t just about
Meaningless stuff
Most of it was good

© GÄ

Somewhere Else

Self destructive need
To defy authorities
Probably won’t choke out
The fact that you don’t care
Doesn’t matter anyway
Remember the conversation
We had about being too much
Keeping up with the
Usual opportunities
It’s nice to know we can
Live to jump again
Close encounters
With the potential
Suspects for clinical
Undermining are not
Only a matter of public
Concerns but a fact
Which has been disrupted
Even a bottle tossed
Into the sea
Cannot answer
Is the back and forth
Deserving of a dose or two
Would Thorazine
Cure the symptom
Or just cause more frequent
Tongue thrusting in the end?
If the gods of transportation
Could be kind enough
To provide an exit route
Then I suppose
There are worse things
Than being crazy
Somewhere else

© GÄ

Become

Each note
Each line
Every chord
I design
Haunts the hallway
With drowning sounds
Of suffocation
Chewing away the tears
Letting out
Again in backbends
I find
Finally with flowers
Prominent laughter
I see smiling
Glints of
What was forgotten
And what can
Become found

© GÄ

Outline

Is it my own disdain
That plays make believe
With myself about the
Unsightly behaviors of others
Or a perfectionistic trait
To want the best outcome
For us all
Am I attacked
Or the attacker?
A silent encroachment
A timid lunge
An irritation that
Scratches at the back
Of my head exploding
My mind into what is
Suddenly shattered
Broken in mirror-like
Shards of brightness
Highlighting the darkest
Parts of the back spatter
Of a lifetime of fun
Only outlined, chalked
Crime de la cœur
Two possible explanations
Boredom or voracity
Either way only
Tenderness can find
A way through the maze
Of oversensitivity
A little context in foreign
Castrating remarks
Neither clever or otherwise
Smart enough I
Parry and shirk out the guardrail
Opening up

© GÄ

Sober and Alone

She wants only for herself
She wants only for her
She waits only for herself
She waits only for her
Nothing left
Nothing left
Bouncing off
The hopeless hap
The helpless gap
The hapless crap
She wants only for herself
I don’t believe that
It can’t be true
I need a smoke
I need a drink
I need more time to think
But I prefer to do it
Sober and alone
With a piano
Passed out drunk
On the floor
Intoxicated only
By the music
Of my deafening heartbeat

© GÄ