poetry – Page 4 – Poétique

Causal

She was never
Going to apologize
For the pain she caused
Perhaps because she
Never thought she
Caused any

You can do amazing
Somehings and die
But can you do amazing
Somethings and stay alive?

We are all hoping in someone
To feel loved or appreciated
Cared by and for and there
Is no permanence to any of this
No credence for responsibility
Hold onto the memory
Of the possibility

To be thirty again still feeling
As if that was the beginning
And life wasn’t just about
Owning your own home
But loving and growing
Meeting someone new
Not trapped in the
Life that was supposed
To save you…

I leave notes on the doors
Of people’s phones by text
Hoping that they will
Respond but the world
Is too busy trying to
Keep up with itself

I am your biggest fan
Waiting for your comeback
If I begin to love you
Will you make me wait
Like everyone else
When I reach out to you?
Not everyone does

Keep turning right
The best position is
Just out of sight

Aegis

We only see what
You want us to see hiding
Behind the computer screen
He didn’t feel amazing any longer
He was doing so many things
That he felt more numb and less fun
No one to tell him intimately
That what he did was super good
Or extra wonderful just himself
And his cat and his bird
The occasional neighbor
Would walk by the garden and
Say “oh how beautiful,
What a lovely place!”
Although it was nice
It wasn’t the same
He was hungry for love
And confirmation of his
Accomplishments from
A day to day someone
Who could look and confirm
That he was indeed amazing
No more scary stories on
Television life was scary enough
Surrounded by the love of others
He was still missing one more
Piece to the puzzle it was the
Beauty and daily ritual
Of the special kindness
Of another but no clue of who
When or where not impossible
But feels like a lifetime away
Time to start over in another
Place in another town in a
Different country further away?

Here

You cry because
You miss him
But do you
Cry because
You miss me?
Does it make
Any difference that
I’m alive
And he is gone?
Would you,
Cry because
You miss me
But not cry because
You miss him
If I was gone?
No longer human
Just an ether
We miss what we
Can’t have and
Forget about what
Is always there
Because we’re human
We mourn the dead
And forget the living
Like the end of summer
It’s not over till it’s over
Can we love the living
Just as we
Mourn the dead
Mourn me
Be with me
As I want to be
With you
While we’re still
Here

Sky

Some days I feel like I am
Living in a body that has
Already had its funeral
I can be more amazing
Than I am behaving
Befuddled by my own
Momentary lapse of
Seizing the instant
Someone wise said to me
Seeking no and
Being told no creates
Cracks and that’s how
The light gets in
Our failure is the only
Way we learn
Be satisfied with yes or no
Because you’re going to get
What you’re going to get
Regardless

Perhaps they’re not my words
But they become our words
When we own them and
Adopt them into
Our spiraling cores
Which says
Everything is everything

Into the ground
Up to the sky

Access the Thief

I crown the mask
That we all wear
Just so I
Can stand to bear
My own deceit

Pleasures run
Away from the stolen
Treasures that permit
My own defeat

Crowding out innocence
Like a bandit
It makes no sense
Any own standard
Are we unpredictable
Are we all accountable
For wanting something
That we cannot grasp

If finding ways to get inside
Access the thief
Betray the pride

This is the final test
To see what we can find

The birth certificate
For my life
Is parading around
Town as if it’d
Like to be noticed

A trophy for love

We cannot involve
Our passions when the
Distance means more than
To grasp onto a fact
Steal away

Intimité

Intimacy may you
Consummate in me
A powerful union of
Unmistakable love
Irreplaceable
Self impeding
What is the reason
Orange peel
Crushed dreams
Simpler times
Erotic screams
Moaning for more
Love before the end
Feelings of a head
Explosion easier
To relieve the notion
Just forget get back to
It the way life goes
Fake a nap wake up
See where you stand
How you feel
Beautiful hands
Waiting to hold the
One who could it be
Perfect day
Dark clouds
Spiraling in ecstasy
Nothing left
No more
Roses, gardens, tea
Music in the ministry
Stand on top
Of what you believe
Be sad be bold
Outspoken behold
Magnetic poles
Beauty disclosed
What’s the remora
A state of being familiar
In our amorous minds
Driving fast towards
An inward communion
Don’t push it away
The gift of intimacy
Traversely fleeting
Receive it completely

Prosaic

Le tongue is prosaic
At best sort of lost in the
Palimpsest tossed onto
Papyrus and leaves
A mix of water and
Greensleeves to do the
Job for every ear and
Eye to behold the
Underfold of irritation
to explain not every word
Is arcane but many of the
Hiding behind the truth
Of needing to believe
Were understood if you
Can catch my drift
Get my meaning
Climb inside me
Close as you can be
It’s rare they do exist
I have had one of these
The strong words we
Tell ourselves in order
To achieve some distance
From the emotions of the
Blazing sun in our eyes
Fighting with computers
And life just to get the
Words out on the page
Music saves me the
Notes convey the things
I need to say whether
They get it or not
The love the smile
What hits the spot
It’s all coming out
In a rush having nothing
Means having something
When we hav me a little more
It feels like too much to
Behold and so we go back to
An empty seat in the
Airport waiting at the
Terminal to board
A plane that takes us
Out of our prosaic minds
Poetically to
Find a world that rhymes or
Doesn’t keep the time
Irrelevant motions
Broken behaviors
Temporary saviors
What’s in it anyway
Hide behind the hedge
Listen to the conversation
Of strangers fall asleep
With whisky on your lips
What’s the difference
It’s all poison
So some say love
Would be the same
Poison on our lips
We can’t resist

Welter

Like we welter a storm
Or do we weather it?
You can’t love me
In the same way
That I love you
But it feels like
You do

When I’m with you

Loving so much that
It questions the ability
To be loved that’s the
Headache of the fall
Jack and Jill went
Up the hill to fetch a
Pail of love

I don’t think that’s how
The nursery rhyme goes
But we all end up tumbling
Down the hill somehow
Or another

Never had a love that
Held me like
“It’s gonna be alright.”
I’m good at that
I’ll fix you up
I need very little
In spite of it all

Just to look you
In the eyes
To know your love
Wake up with it
Everyday you can
Be sure to have
My everything
Even when the real world
Crashes in

Every morning it’s a sin
To be without you
Even in the fantasy
I know that no reality
Holds a place for
You and me
Scavengers of love
On the hunt
Lone wolves
Lazy thumbs

Let the sun stay behind the clouds
Just for today as I dream
Of our future unattainable love

Tinge

Sad to think that
You might wonder or
Believe that I don’t care
Tears even
About the words and
Sentences you taught me
I want so badly as you know
To be fluent and to flow
With effortless expression
But I need you close in
Every tomorrow to speak
To say to correct me

Sad to think that
You might believe that I am
Giving up
As though I’ve filled my cup
Heart trembling
And I want it so bad I can’t
Put into words how impossible
It feels to achieve what it means
To speak the language that is
Living in my heart but it
Comes off as if I don’t
Mean or want to
Understand it

I just don’t want to
Do it alone and you can’t
Be here all the time
And then you’re gone
Then here I am
Talking to myself again
Having conversations
With the wall
But to speak the words
That are meaningful
That’s not how I ever meant
To do it all

Je veux échanger
Chaque jour avec toi…

Adumbrate

I tried to love deeply
And hard but with no avail
I think my grandmother warned me
About the friends you choose
The love you give
How it can be received

And many of them were broken
But I loved anyway because
To experience it all the joy
And the pain it was worth it

Love so many that were
Already living love with another
Real love not just sexual love
Respected love

My skeleton is eating
But my heart is sinking
Thinking about the person
That isn’t sharing what
I have to offer

A tale of true luster
He is not unloved
Loved by many indeed
A feeling of say less
A moment of too much
To be missed by many
To be kissed even
In the distance