Tag: poetry

Un

In all that I have achieved
I did not achieve you
You could not be achieved
Even if I could achieve God
And She could achieve me
You could not be be be
Mine this could not be be be
Ours

In all that I have achieved
I have achieved most from you
Tears and pain a few laughs
But incredible angst
Forever forgiving my love
For you was pure
My heartbeat hungry
To be received
The family
The womb of a home
But no bending would bring
Words and lashes of anger
Pushing me
Further and further and further
Away

Even if I wanted to be achieved
The fires were to great
Burning this heart of a home
To the ashes of a memory
And the willingness to
Be caressed by the wind
Of what I achieved if it was to
Be be be
It was my freedom

© GÄ

Handful

Only a handful of times did we
Make love
Did we we make love
In 7 years how many times
Not even once a year
Not even make up sex
Give up my good years
To not wake up next
To someone who deserved me
Mother me more than
Lover me
I don’t need a mother
Even more than just a lover
Someone to share
My heart with
Someone to give
My every part with
As much or as many
As a hand could grasp
Though it was only
A handful of times
Ironically it was also a
Handful to define
Our love

© GÄ

Flew

I was dreaming

We were
Cleaning

A big building
It reminded me
Of the church I grew up in
You

Asked me how to
Clean the stairs
You
Saw me cleaning stairs
I showed you how
You
Took the cleaner to
Clean the stairs we were
Both on our hands and knees
We
Both knew I had to
Catch a flight
I had to go
I have to go
Home
But you

Were exhausted
You weren’t sure
You
Wanted to come along
And then
After we finished cleaning
You
Jumped on my back
You rode piggy back and said
Okay I’ll come with you
And we
Escaped to the airport
To get our tickets
You and I
We finally

Came through

And then we flew

© GÄ

Everything Is Okay

How dare you break my heart
The people that hurt us
We might say this to
But they can’t apologize because they
Don’t know how and we
Just smile and say that it’s okay

Everything is okay

My reality is so powerful
The feelings that come through
About my perceptions
Are stronger than usual
Especially about you

The more difficult or new
The conversations that I’m having
The more telling the dream
Like an argument with a best friend
A lunch with a person
Whom is no longer a stranger
Somehow because
I thought I saw potential
But what did I see
When I saw you
Is it my pandemic brain
Or is it really true
Is this true?

What are we
Are we this
What is this
If this is everything

Than everything is okay

© GÄ

Nineteen

Do you like who you’re becoming
Do you remember who you were
Soft dramatic orchestral motions
Back and forth back and forth
This man stands before you healed
These ears try not to hear
The only way to keep a secret
Between two men is to kill one of them
But there’s forgiveness in the air
Don’t let your guard down
With forgiveness in the air
Something smells good
Is it the tapering of despair
So typically weak
But not enough quite yet
To speak the words
Premature or selfish
I need things to smell different
Somehow like they used to
Before I met you
Nineteen again

© GÄ

Permissions

I’m not locked in
Are you locked in?
Is this even possibly the
Beginning of sweet liberation
I’m drawing polka dots
To connect later
With my favorite pen
In the shape of a metaphor
But not without your permission

I watch certain moments
Wake up within me
But I’m not really sure
Or unsure if hysterically
There were laughs that I was
Somehow missing in between
Like being born without
A parent who could teach me
Any other language than
American English
Still filled with filial piety

They say take the hand your dealt
Make the most of what you’ve got
What have I got?
A paintbrush a toothbrush
A hairbrush and a plot
To better fulfill the best parts
Hoping they don’t change
At least not more than say
The usual amount

I like tall not necessarily
Easy to define moments
Hiding behind subtle descriptions
A little fear for touching them
And finding out what could be possible
Or maybe even what could be
Taken away if I touched it
Even once

Don’t lose your step or trip up
Or position in permission for
Your metaphor or the hope of
What I wish for which is
What I must become
Which is not what I
Was necessarily given

© GÄ

Yesterday

It’s going to get worse
Before it gets better
She said and then I
Wrote her a letter
Lots of blue ink and
A Roman candle
Dripping wax on paper
Sealed with a brass cast
Of all the feelings I’ve been
Sitting with for years
Every sentiment I kept
Wound carefully in burlap
Hidden beneath the last board
Of the wrap around porch
I spent every summer on
For the past seven years
Years of trying to say
The words that cannot seem
To find their way
Still to the surface of my
Pale pink wet lips
It’s the best that I can do
To send the letter off to you
Now that it’s better
After the worst of it
Drifted off like dust
Into the backyard of our memories
Into the broken earths crust
I always thought
The lava would bubble up
Molten feelings of the
Forgotten sense of friendship
Turned to romance turned to
What happened to the
Only time I saw myself
Running away
Somehow still standing
In the same place
A gold earring and
A broken piece of clay
The center of what matters
No longer being held hostage
Was I just a boy
Or now am I a man
Free to say what I finally
Always wanted to say
In a letter now that it’s better
Than yesterday

© GÄ

Stalemate Solution

Will you let me go and fetch him
Run across the way
Grab a boat down at the slip
Beg for him to stay

Love does not delight in evil
They say rejoicing with the truth
Protecting you always trusting too
Always hoping you would say
My bad I hurt you

My heart with purpose quills
To soar above a thoughtful need for this
No one can tell you
How to feel better except you

The resentful pain of not telling it
I don’t want to hurt you
So I carry the weight of it
A paper weight of it
A kettlebell
Wrapped ‘round my heart
I will not forget our story
I promise x

Climbing up the hill losing traction
Falling on my face is no different
Than a stalemate solution
No one wins but love
Because love existed
Even if a long term resolution
Never could

© GÄ

Unexpected Ways

So then
Just as you received
My telegram to meet me
At the motel
I found myself overflowing
At the mere thought
Of our reception
Enduring love is
One of those things
Like calling out your name
In the middle of a field
Sometime after midnight
Hidden in the grass
Regarded twice as tall as me
Not quite as tall
As how I felt when I saw your lips
Mouth the words

‘I think I love you’

Like nightly dreams
Painted on plaster
Across the ceiling
Like morning light
Creeping across
Your body one ray at a time
You can always counsel me
On the way that I should reach out
To get closer to you
To understand your maze
To walk your labyrinth
In any way you most prefer
There’s a fire waiting for us
In the living room
There’s a fire waiting for us
In my heart
There’s a fire waiting for us
In every corner of the world
Your love bursts through me
In countless unexpected ways

© GÄ