I move within lines that
Aren’t drawn by this room
I stand at the axis
The noise circles me
Somatic placement is
Readiness staging
Intentional allocation
Of expressive energy
Me watching you forget me
I opted out of carrying
What was never mine alone.
Self-possession under pressure
Willingness to be disliked
Without retreat
Refusal to trade this position
For your approval
Telling the self:
You wanted that—
It creates room to act
Not just room to survive.
That’s the space
I’m stepping into now
Voice inside the head says:
Choose yourself
Instead of disappearing
Remain unavailable
For emotional processing
This inner life
My sanctum
Wasn’t part of the equation
Somehow
My humanity didn’t register
As something to protect
Like I dreamed it did
Imagined it would
Wanted it to…
I’m intense
I can’t help it
Is that ok?
Can I be intense now?
Translate indifference
Into generosity
Interpret avoidance
As misunderstanding
Silly me absorbing the cost
Of preserving a bond
That isn’t mutual
Grandma said not to do that
Severing feels violent
Dignity wounds cut deep
I found my dignity
Underneath you
Someone said
I was seen as useful
Not relational
Petting my head
My inner voice said:
You’re losing the version of reality
Where your care was reciprocated.
Stop disappearing for people
Who don’t notice
The cost of your loss
© GÄ
Poétique 