Geinos Äotsch

Aerate

It doesn’t matter when people lie
If it’s their truth

What you’re experiencing
Can’t be marked only
By chance

Lies are like games
Asking again and again
When you know I’m not okay

This time it can’t be
Marked by chance
This time it can’t be
Marked by destiny
It’s just probable
Repeated assault
Will destroy you

Wanting you
To appreciate me

Empty space
Blue echoes

I’m over your hands
All the tattoos
Storytelling
Truth or lies?
I’m over your mouth
All the promises spewed
Draw me down
Fill me up with self-doubt

Heart pump sound
One eye closed

I need some oceanography
Empty gin bottle
Train tracks nearby
Hurt feelings again

The underscore
He says we can start living?
Delicate threads
Our own realities

Who will we be then?
Even if we choose to be
Alone together

Hideaway

When one connection goes down
Another one comes up
Sort of like numbers
Or electromagnetic
Crossings

One feels horrible
One feels good
The other feels bad
Again one is good

Which way it will go
Is like a jinx
In the flow
Feel the negative move
When the choice is made
Positive crimes

B.Y.O.B. bravery
Personal reactions
Easier said than done
Try to stay alive
Table for one?

Consequence of our distractions
Is simply to stay alive
It’s only when we die
That we find ourselves
Living the cost free life

People that play with money
Pay with money
More rain than rainbows
Pots of gold
Sold to the highest bidder
That’s American soil

I’m dreaming
Of a beach in
L’archipel de Santorin

Climbing to the top of the stairs
I did my best to make it there
I watched as people slid down
Behind me in a spiral falling
Sliding down down down
I’m climbing up up up
I’m climbing far into the unknown
And the woman who met me there
She was a black goddess
Advising me to become more gummy
Dark curly short hair
Bright eyes trusting lips
Gospel truth entelechy
She put tacky glue on her shoes
Something sticky as the
Slant went further up
She said follow me and we
Climbed higher to the top
On slippery plastic
I watched and as she demonstrated
Each step I mimicked her walk
To make it to the soft green
Bed of earth that awaited us
Beneath a daylight sky of stars
No stress of worry in this place
Feeling’s were respected
And appreciated
Promises kept and held
Most importantly for him
There was meaning there when
A person said something
You have been heard
Those who exist here
Have listened to your words
They are not half dead
The oracle is not awake or asleep
Consistent certainty is ours

Boho 보호

The left over bits
Uncertainty says I trust you
But not all the way
What is deep trust
What do we do with the surface shit

There is no ground zero
You are who you are
We can evolve

La peur de vivre
Maybe you want to believe
It’s all just an accident
No concern for others needs
Just his own

Yeah
So we all just say ok
Whatever you say

You cry and apologize
An apology that ends with
Hurting me the other person

I should be the one crying
Instead I am comforting

Misguided by
A fantasy love for
The possibility of someone
Actually being a man of their word

What would my grandpa do?
Smile and chide the disrespect

Is there more to life than
Our mental health
Set that aside
Slide away

Two halves
If mental health exists
Both sides should be consulted
Protecting your health from harm
Harming your health by
Protecting it

Facetious

Now that I have enough money
I don’t need you anymore she said

We relocated and she was secure
She took me to a few places that were
Familiar to her and expected me
To fly out of town

But I decided to stay

There were also temples all around
Reminded me of Thailand
From one end of the street
To the other and a new
Dog companion I thought

I could live here

I can find a place
I too have enough money now
So really we were both waiting
On one another to become
Financially sufficient

The dog was happier with me
The apartment they were living in
Was really too many floors up
We needed ground level
Something more about him
Not them

I went on the hunt for the new place
The sun wasn’t out quite yet
But it was still light

We made it back to the mall
Where her new job was
Fancy taking care of rich children
They needed love too

But the rules were stricter
I didn’t know how to love you either
She said something like
Your brother said

I want you to be happy now

Sward

A sward before me
Grassy green verdant plain
If you’ve ever known pain
Then you know how difficult it is to feel
I loved him the most
Without him that part of me is empty

I hold your pillow

She wasn’t nice to me
But to everyone else for her it was easy

To be nice

Fifty two hours was too much for them
To share with me for a friend
In the course of one year
They needed it all {their time}
So again; lost friend
A pain sets in that is
Too hard to talk about

I have a person she said
Meaning {not you}

Why do I feel like I still look like
I’m seventeen to the world
Inside still just a boy
Wanting to connect with everyone
Undying youthful heart
But a man who is realizing
It may be time to share
His experience

Guidance

Are we one day elders
Are we one day teaching
Unexpectedly
Is this wisdom?

Empath

May be a chicken
Might be a duck
Listen with the heart
If we’ve got any luck
To be held to be listened to
Objectively so
What do we gain from
Attracting these people
Where solitude is not
Treasured and protection
Descoped

Connect me to the intimate
What do we sustain when we’re alone?

Respect the dignity of others
Focus on the compass of your heart

We can’t sacrifice our space
To diffuse self imposed rejection

The fire is burning without us
How shall we dance to call the flames
Calm the brimstone that surrounds us

Call the the wild of loving kind
People voices of understanding
Compassionate energies

Might be a chicken
May be a duck
Don’t smother your authentic self
Listen for the call of love

Edify

Child unwanted
Divorcé to your parents
Clinging to a life that
No longer existed
Your father and mother
Don’t want each other
So you feel unwanted too
When people want to be there
For empathic people
It almost makes you feel worse
Is everything ok!?
Are you ok?
Suddenly you’re not
It’s like you have a rare skin disease
And no one can touch you
To make you feel better
Because it makes you feel worse
Empathy and trouble with affection
Affection is affliction
Machete to the neck
Start over from the beginning
Clean slate is a clean plate

And though the room was full
Of animals we still wanted to revive
The snake and so it was time to
Wake the paper skin that would
Come alive again if we fed it
It took two of us to nurture it
And the lights went off in its belly
When the rat turned each corner to
Get to the end and the snake
Awoke to find its life again

We saw a way for the snake to also
Make its home between the bones
Of neck and clavicle absorbed
Between the shoulders to save the
Child we would need to cut it out again
Full length and body swallowed whole
But without doctor or time to rush
Into the traffic of a hospital
Like some sweet magic the simple slice
Released the snake to see the child
Back up again and to become the
Parts that served him best
Secure and whole

Νερό

Circuitous but constant
Is the path of experience
All the lights go down and
A world opens up to someone
Who hasn’t been seen by others
As the beautiful monarch that they are

He took time to radiate that
Back to her from pictures on
Her walls to the voice of
Friendships from the past
Orchestrated by imagery that
Could last a lifetime

This turned into a reel of
Musical talent that needed to be
Protected and the scaffolding outside
Her home that her grandfather put in
Needed support

I began to help build things as
Some thinned concrete bricks were
Sliding away and the mud became purple
It was more like a work to build
Infrastructure that felt good in your hands
While you were doing it
A tetris catharsis

We knew there was only one way in
Everyone was getting older
She had a chance to guide them
The well was deep
The pit was narrow
She loved the water
Her life depended
On the right angle
To survive

Reminders

Predicting something bad will happen
Is as simple as making a choice to
Express yourself or stretch outside
Of the normal world of everyday
Existence as the inevitable is close
To the same stream of consciousness
Pick a big thing to do for yourself
Watch a big thing that requires
More from you surface to the top
Consistently from this choice arrives
The expected focus to keep your head up
The rules are pretty simple
If you don’t chew rocks
Your teeth won’t fall out
Of your head

Author: Geinos Äotsch