Geinos Äotsch

Ossify

I’m doing such a good job keeping alive
It’s almost lonely
Bone strengthening
Some might say

Like calcium deposits

It’s tooth grinding the way you were
Baiting me with obituaries
How disgustingly coy

Projecting infantile rage
All over me in a figurative food fight
With spit and disdain
I can only say that
I don’t blame other people
For my shortcomings

If I should also have a death
Happen upon me I’ll remember
To reach out and apologize
For not being a good friend to you

I should like to return the favor

After all that love spent
You’ve left me ossified

Solipsistic

Like walking through a bad dream
Looking for a partner or a good friend
In an underworld where only the self exists

Purloin my love
If you must pilfer my heart at all
Inalienable after all
With a history like hours
There’s no erasing

Beguilingly so

If there’s also nothing left
To give up on
I would not have kept trying to find you
In the weeds of time
With the sunlight
Woven over strands of your hair
In a window of possibilities
Or lack thereof

White beard dark skin
I was supposed to have kids
What happened to that dream
Wake up another business
In my head the prophet said
Love one another maybe
Community is the answer
Not my own child but a
Caretaker to all
I saw the snow fall yesterday
On a mountain though
The town below was warming
From the sun I sweetened
My tea with love
Warmth against my lips
Both feet into the ground
Doesn’t feel like we’re missing out
In a soil of potential music
Crystals and folks are
Always feeling better
When the mandolin is playing
In the air and in the streams
Of collective consciousness
Colors are pervading anything that
Has been felt lost or forgotten
Fulfilled in a simple moment
That embraces every possibility
Even though the question stands
Why do seagulls sound
Like they’re crying?
Perhaps an empty nest

Hence Why

Today I want a porch swing
A bottle of wine and
A cigarette with you
It might hang on me tomorrow
But today that’s what
I want with you
Been awhile since I had
A case of the cocktail flu
Rinse wash repeat

Adulthood

We say more words when we do drugs
Don’t lob my heart or be absurd
I thought you might be my
Most consistent friend
You know my longest friend
Sort of like a sanctuary
Without the religious parts
Oh, just like one of those
Places you go to laugh eternally
Until your stomach hurts
And they have no order or rules
No effort or strain
For how to go about
Having a good time
Telling us how to live
Following some strict regime
Why did we have to grow up
Up up and away
We’d gotten on so well
Before we became adults
And here I am
Examining my own life

Double Hearts

Loving life to the fullest
No fear of dying
Cause I’ve got you by my side
Always trying
To get closer to our childhood
When you’re not here
It’s what I’m fantasizing of
Holding you close
Wishing I had a chance
Heartwarming the summit
Our potential experiment
Talking through the vale
Depending on the weather
I found a pair of socks
That remind me of you
I think I only wore them
When I was with you
The summer before you left
Or did I leave?
It’s unclear two beating hearts
In two different places
Without a choice

A Long Wind

Can’t undo the past
What’s done is done
Make a new moment
That lasts longer for the
Imagination is
Much more brilliant
Than a few telephone wires
You try to love me
But it feels like you don’t want me
Maybe that’s just your style
You try to love me
But it feels like you don’t want me
Been hoping this would change for awhile
Now all we have are distant
Memories of the past
Some of them broken
Some built to last
And even if we were to gravitate
Our coping would end up
Where we were the time before
Because we can’t undo the past
What’s done is done
And now new moments wait for us
Even with all the words
That could’ve said the best
Our trust revoked a bitter test
Is there a lifetime for this one
Or is it just what’s done is done
Maybe the safety that we harbored
For our future will end up
Meeting us somewhere that hurts less
And the best will be the best
We can just forget the rest
Your voice is warm but
Your words are cold
You try to love me
But it feels like you don’t want me
Some people say things
That come out different
You try to love me
But it feels like you don’t want me
Where’s the beginning
Wanting to return there
Back to the place where
We had more fun
When fun was fun
Before what’s done is done

Deeper Thoughts

Entangled with the horns
Of a bull and the heart of a whale
A little rough and tumble
I’m not sad. This is art.

I’m trying to get closer to my memories
& the harder I swim the faster they come

I feel remorse about fatal occurrences
Especially those which I cannot prevent

Even totally unrelated to me personally
And out of my control
In someone else’s corner

Occasionally defeated

Still I am full
Still I am unprepared
Still I am resilient

Redeeming the world in a happier light
Crops up a broken morning
Resisting AI by the grace
Of my Buddha-head
And a dream filled bed
Of possibilities

Hue and Cry

I wail out to the pain
Of what we could’ve been
Some other mesmerizing forecast
Than the doubt we ended up as
Goodbyes are hindered
By the inability of our hellos
And echos of nothing are
Screaming in the absence
Of a love that dreamed of
Being born before the end of
Every future tomorrow that
Hangs waning in the distant sky
Like an unattainable star

Gormless

Is it willfully deceitful
Or incompetently deceived
Perfectly washed over in
Shadows of new light
Peeking through the branches
Careful not to disturb the
Already balanced sun behind you
Morning moon still awake
From last nights gathering
Potentially warm on the inside
If my neck can feel the heat
From the rays of today
Perhaps there is yet another
Half of this life to live
Supposing that it is almost
Foolish to think otherwise
In other wisdom it’s
Just the way uncertainty
Attempts to cry out
In a louder voice
Undefined

Author: Geinos Äotsch