In the Light

I had my guard up
How awkward
It was strange
To see you
Did I miss you?
Should I hug you?
Was it hate you left me with?
When everything dissipated
You burned me
Caught me on fire
In many ways
Where the love of friends
Was left is friendship
Also lost?
There are no leftovers
From the hangovers
Of the hurt
Trial and error
Choosing to invest
In a place
With limited return
A lot of love was lost
A lot of love was found
Keep the conversation
And the memory
In the light

© GÄ

Keeping Score

Does life get easier
As we move along
Or harder

Do we understand more
Or is it actually less
We comprehend

It seems the more that I know
The less I understand

It’s taking me longer to cool down
From the things that heat me up

This is historical
This is a longtime coming
This is
What happens
As time goes by

I’d rather warn you
Than console you

Evolving beyond and above
What folks are incapable of
I could write a novel in the rain

I’ve already had my heart broken
A million times or so
What’s the point
Of keeping score
If the heart is broken
Another million times or more

© GÄ

Waiting to Happen

Dimming Me
I’m sorry
We lost our friendship
Slimming me
What a trick
Where did it go
A Pyrrhic victory
An empty chalice
A broken medal
Nobody wins
The last word
Is nothing
We were equally invested
And now we’re equally
I’m sorry
For what was destined
We were worth more
It was only a matter of time
Before I would be
Just another accident
Waiting to happen

© GÄ

Still Alive

Death of a friendship
It’s a strange thing
Feeling like you’re there
Feeling like you’re nowhere
Sensing what we had
Distasteful nothingness
Delivered on an empty platter
Of whatever is nothing
A forked tongue of fruit
That used to be something
Now just pacifies everything
Take it slow sounds more like
End of the road for me
That’s okay
At least we can be certain
Of one thing

Mourning our deaths
Even though we’re both still alive

© GÄ

Forever Enticing

Forever biting
Chipping away at
The best part of us
Unfolding all the truths
Learning every piece
Seeing how it fits
Deeper than sex
Could ever expect
To get

A combination
Sensual relation
Of the mind

All in good time
My dear

All in good time

We will see a bigger
Piece than both of us
That we create together
Forever enticing
The placement
Of two hearts
In one
Sharing one lung
Sharing one sun

You are fetching
My inner angel
Overlapping our cathedrals
Alluring the afternoon
Between us

Pianos in our eyes
Rolling on the floor

I believe I saw you once
Eating delicious figs
In a succulent dream
Three or four
Forever enticing
Our friendship
Beyond what stellar

© GÄ

Kicking Herself

She’s kicking herself
Because she couldn’t be nice
Most of the time
I asked more than twice
Where did I go wrong
Maybe it wasn’t me
It’s so easy to say
It takes two to tango
The truth is obvious

Perhaps not this time

I bought you a shirt
I brought you a coat
I held you in winter
Supplied you with hope

I wish she could let me in

Her insides
Didn’t agree with me
Arguments ensued

Maybe just incompatible
I’ll love you forever
And you’ll live to tell
The stories of us
By our wishing well

Dreams of a child
Dreams of a home
These are all different now
Though not totally gone

Different dreams
And she’s kicking herself
For resenting my love
And she’s kicking herself
For resenting my talents
And she’s kicking herself
For not being able
To love me for me
For not being able
To rejoice in the stable

I still love you
Just the same as before
The courts all decided
Our friendship was more
They call it a marriage
I call it a score

One up me each time
Gloves on or off
Always contrary
Believe me
I don’t want to fight
All I want is a sanctuary

Better off friends
A friendship not lost
Better off friends
And she’s kicking herself
For the one I would try
To create a small family with
Has now passed her by

But I am still here
To hold you my dear
Forever a soul companion

Just not a husband

© GÄ

Want You

I can’t want you
Even though I want to
And It’s not just a warm body
I’m talking about
It’s actually you
But I can’t want you
Even though I want to
Because I’m pretty sure
That you don’t
Want me too

My body wants you
I feel my pulse rise
I feel excitement in my blood
When I’m beside you
If you don’t want me
It makes no sense to
Pretend that something
Could happen anyway with you

I’ll still be near you
Even if it means that
You can’t want me
In the same way
My body’s wanting you
There’s more to share here
Than just the sex where
We can be friends
Though not lovers
Because you still
Mean that much to me
And your beautiful
Dark warm intensity

I can get a handle
On this

To know you
Is more important
Than what my body seems to want
For us to do
And knowing that you
Have so much more to
Offer than just your sensuality
Or even a kiss

Though I might wish to
Sometimes hold you
I think a hug between friends
Is so much better

Than to have nothing at all
And if you want me
Someday we can then
Cross that bridge if
Your body decides that
It might want me too

Good conversations
Life celebrations
So many years of other things
That we can do
Yes you’re sexy
But the truth is
For me to want you to
Be with me when
You can’t want me
The same way that I want you

Is impractical

To walk away from
What we do have
Would be a waste to
Let go of
I’d be giving up
Way too much of you and so
I can accept that
We share everything else
But the sexual way
I’m feeling about you

© GÄ