Geino Äotsch

Welter

Like we welter a storm
Or do we weather it?
You can’t love me
In the same way
That I love you
But it feels like
You do

When I’m with you

Loving so much that
It questions the ability
To be loved that’s the
Headache of the fall
Jack and Jill went
Up the hill to fetch a
Pail of love

I don’t think that’s how
The nursery rhyme goes
But we all end up tumbling
Down the hill somehow
Or another

Never had a love that
Held me like
“It’s gonna be alright.”
I’m good at that
I’ll fix you up
I need very little
In spite of it all

Just to look you
In the eyes
To know your love
Wake up with it
Everyday you can
Be sure to have
My everything
Even when the real world
Crashes in

Every morning it’s a sin
To be without you
Even in the fantasy
I know that no reality
Holds a place for
You and me
Scavengers of love
On the hunt
Lone wolves
Lazy thumbs

Let the sun stay behind the clouds
Just for today as I dream
Of our future unattainable love

Sad to think that
You might wonder or
Believe that I don’t care
Tears even
About the words and
Sentences you taught me
I want so badly as you know
To be fluent and to flow
With effortless expression
But I need you close in
Every tomorrow to speak
To say to correct me

Sad to think that
You might believe that I am
Giving up
As though I’ve filled my cup
Heart trembling
And I want it so bad I can’t
Put into words how impossible
It feels to achieve what it means
To speak the language that is
Living in my heart but it
Comes off as if I don’t
Mean or want to
Understand it

I just don’t want to
Do it alone and you can’t
Be here all the time
And then you’re gone
Then here I am
Talking to myself again
Having conversations
With the wall
But to speak the words
That are meaningful
That’s not how I ever meant
To do it all

Je veux échanger
Chaque jour avec toi…

Rejure

Immutable love
Unchanging divine
Giving you the chance to
Uncover my mystery
Fired up I fully
Whole heartedly believe
In love

It’s four o’clock
Everyday reaches this point
Like the strength of redwoods
Your heart and demeanor
Again a safety net beneath the
Burj Khalifa

Anchoring my dopamine
Just a classical conditioning
Of doves diving in my mind
Singing songs of praise
Cooing above

I walk backwards on the beach
Remembering our future
My brain desires
Theeb dreamscapes

Hidebound

She wanted to listen to
Old tapes about her past
That made her sad
Her identity was iron clad
Impenetrable

As you hold her heart
From the backside
Console her with true love
She cries for both of you

The third other sits on a couch
Buried in disgust pain and doubt
She doesn’t care if you stay
She wants you out

I don’t care if you go
She meant it
You felt it

There are many among you
That represent fun
But you’re not the one
Ghostlighting you
With party favors
That are people

The butterfly is emerging
Snake skin is shedding
Who’s flags are red
If we’re betting
Yours or mine?

Flashing lights
Confined to the past
No one can love for us

Adumbrate

I tried to love deeply
And hard but with no avail
I think my grandmother warned me
About the friends you choose
The love you give
How it can be received

And many of them were broken
But I loved anyway because
To experience it all the joy
And the pain it was worth it

Love so many that were
Already living love with another
Real love not just sexual love
Respected love

My skeleton is eating
But my heart is sinking
Thinking about the person
That isn’t sharing what
I have to offer

A tale of true luster
He is not unloved
Loved by many indeed
A feeling of say less
A moment of too much
To be missed by many
To be kissed even
In the distance

Each Other

It was both of their faults
Not fighting hard enough
For the love that they deserved

It’s not all drudgery is it?
Of course the beauty hangs
In the distance

Maintaining the narrative
As it was in the beginning
Some kind of ice cream social
Sitting at the same table
A neighborhood of love

When do we return to
One another after all
Is said and done

The crowds have
All gone home

Left with each other
Trusting and loving
As lovers do

Not some sort of
Invidious manifold

Joy in the making
A dry corner for standing in
Mystical narratives

Watering

One of the most treacherous acts
To witness unforgivable
We keep living we must breathe

Bandaid on the ground unopened
Pick it up to save my life or do
We leave it to save someone else’s

Close your eyes for the first time
Open your eyes for the last time

How many answers could we
Uncover if we only cared about
This moment of being together
What we are experiencing when
We finally find the clue

Lots of questions
A querent of queries

Keep pushing towards the light
How can we be tired after
Sleeping all night

Do the rest make it your best
Call them from the watchtower

Grains

White flowers dusted
Far across the plains
Rolling grains violining
Where somehow the music
In the air sounds different than
Yesterdays birds

Less work more play casting
An umbrageous shadow
Knock if you will at the vortex
Of this epiphany of spider bites
Hard centered lust at the
Indefinite core of willingness
Never undermined by
Squandered love
A hot centered devotion

One less headache
Hard pinned to the grass
Remember the park tangled
Underneath a tree it’s really
Simple the breeze and esoteric
Conversation that pulls us both
In magnetically with no doubt
Words and questions your
Scent is one that I can sense
From yards away unmistakable
Thirst quenching beauty

Symposium

I am in utter awe of you
Your perfect nose and
Beguiling eyes in the shadows
Framed by the purple light
Cast through the glass
Perfectly behind you
With a red door backdrop
And the most beautiful part
About you is how serenely
Unaware of how absolutely
Breathtakingly gorgeous
You actually are

Unmistakably so

Could you
Bear witness to my garden
As the flowers I have planted
Pertain to be more meaningful
Gestures that bring out
What qualities I hope to portray
If only to be shared with you

Ears drumming
I never thought you’d ask
What more could be said
Your affections are not for me
Rollercoaster in my head
To gaze even upon
Your very capable hands
Intimately available only
For some lucky future bride
In some other world

To receive your company
Is an understatement of joy
O, what unimaginable gifts
How ever one does treasure

All the little things you say

Wafted

My memories are still hard and fresh
Crisp like the air from yesterday
Would I not be left then on the
Back porch like a pickled carcass
Had I not stood up for myself
My feelings, my wishes, my hopes
And my dreams waiting to be
Fulfilled in the belly of my heart
With the rapture of true love

Never to fear death more
Perhaps even the return would be
Unthinkable yet as the incense
Travels through the backdoor
Indulging the wind with its
Wafted recollections
Only a steel trap mind could
Choose to forget it
But why would it then
Oh how the essence of the past
Fed on vengeance with
Resentment and the corruption
Like soup served before us at the table
Ready to lap it up for love
What tremendous companionship

Love coasting through every artery
As if the Torah were in every cell
Of the bodies future and the
Softness of possibilities made
Sweet figs for us to feed one
Another even though the pain
Of existence was in need of
Wet tenderness wrapped
About the epidermis of worded wounds
Begging for mercy only for
Love nothing but love

What an exchange of banter
Ideas or captured thoughts
If the trade were only for love
And not for anything else

Author: Geino Äotsch