Alone

Stories

Am I ready to tell
The end of my story
While I’m still so young
Proprioception
It never feels like
It’s my turn
I wanted everything
My grandparents had
That’s what made me
Feel like I made it
How else would I know
Now that I have
Squired all of those
Things I fulfilled
A purpose
All of them feel as
Achieved boxes
Equally ticked
Anything but
Fugacious
I knew everyone
Was going to die
I just never thought
That I would be left
Completely alone
After it happened
They say when you
Come into this
World you are alone
But it’s not true
What you are
Left with in this
World can leave you
Alone
Even with all the
Love shared
The journey wasn’t
Lonely but perhaps
The end of the path is

She taught me
How to be a gentleman
Where did I go wrong?

Aerate

It doesn’t matter when people lie
If it’s their truth

What you’re experiencing
Can’t be marked only
By chance

Lies are like games
Asking again and again
When you know I’m not okay

This time it can’t be
Marked by chance
This time it can’t be
Marked by destiny
It’s just probable
Repeated assault
Will destroy you

Wanting you
To appreciate me

Empty space
Blue echoes

I’m over your hands
All the tattoos
Storytelling
Truth or lies?
I’m over your mouth
All the promises spewed
Draw me down
Fill me up with self-doubt

Heart pump sound
One eye closed

I need some oceanography
Empty gin bottle
Train tracks nearby
Hurt feelings again

The underscore
He says we can start living?
Delicate threads
Our own realities

Who will we be then?
Even if we choose to be
Alone together

Du Tout

What does it mean
To stand alone?!
After many months, years or days
Of people pleasing
Or simply wanting to do right
By others and somehow
Left out feeling weaker
Than I was before
I think I finally found the strength
To stand beside myself
Knowing that
To be true to yourself
May leave one standing alone
But not without feeling
Stronger about the innate power of
Our own emotions shuttling through
Striking a chord of harmony
Warning us internally
Of what ultimately balances
The two halves of oneself
Into a convexity of dangling
That hangs inside a universe
Which has no linear relationship
To standing up together
Or alone at all

Sober and Alone

She wants only for herself
She wants only for her
She waits only for herself
She waits only for her
Nothing left
Nothing left
Bouncing off
The hopeless hap
The helpless gap
The hapless crap
She wants only for herself
I don’t believe that
It can’t be true
I need a smoke
I need a drink
I need more time to think
But I prefer to do it
Sober and alone
With a piano
Passed out drunk
On the floor
Intoxicated only
By the music
Of my deafening heartbeat

Alone and detached
A solitary fellow
Typically good at privacy
Am I a tower of a person
What does that amount to?
Like a skyscraper
No one can reach the top of
I just wanted you
To be nice to me consistently
Crazy provenance
Broken reality
How exhausting but also
What liberty!
What freedom!
What destiny to reveal
My greatest ecstasy
The heirloom to a story
My body has yet to tell