The common thread:
Invisible labor + deferred regard
- Asymmetric adaptation
Before I gave my heart away
“Is this how I sound?”
We used to dance
Then —
Ask the clarifying questions
Your self interest is revealing itself
What time isn’t it?
I no longer need witnesses to my integrity
“Is this how my words land
When I’m not holding them?”
Many many boulders
Carrying weight is not what broke me
Carrying weight
While being disregarded did.
Period
When the full moon came
Clarity was acceptable
But only when it didn’t cost them
What it cost me
I heard my canary singing
It falls apart a lot with logical inconsistencies
Could his song hold me?
It was acceptable when
I absorbed their messiness,
but unacceptable when they do.
That’s what you’re here to hold
That’s why you made it into the egg
That betrays you with cold intolerant
Phrases like « you’re a freak »
When the cape becomes mandatory
I become invisible
Stop negotiating with shadows
I can be someone alone
I am no longer willing to sacrifice
My well-being to preserve
Your autonomy —
Especially when that sacrifice is invisible
Unacknowledged, and expected —-
My nervous system is not
Commercial property
But they made decisions that affected you
And they did not care how it affected
Your world
Suspension
Suspended
Suspend me
Darkness
Water
Islands
If I don’t protect myself here, no one else will.
Self reckoning
You don’t need to disown
That part of you that expects
Love to meet you
It takes time to trust a system that doesn’t require you to bleed to function…
They didn’t object when
Self-interest flowed one way…
…they objected when it stopped flowing
toward them.
Even when I named my feelings
Directly, they continued to
Prioritize their wants —
And expected me to adapt
Adopt
Adopt me
I am not safe here if I keep waiting to be considered.
Anticipatory self-abandonment.
Chronic vigilance
First light
I am no longer required to disappear to keep others comfortable
Unzipped
The internal contract has changed
Deregulation
is internally regulated
When hurt
Understands systems and process
When hurt
Doesn’t require approval to proceed
When hurt
Doesn’t respond to intimidation
Rejecting your threat response
Is delicious
My ground is open
My stance is strong
My tongue untied
It takes time to trust a system
That doesn’t require you to bleed to function
© GÄ
Poétique 