past – Poétique

Borne

A spider grabbed hold
Of my thumb unexpectedly
As I reached into a bag today
Somewhere in the dark
I was gleaming
With what delicate
Reminders we have
To remember that we are
Truly not alone
Living with wanton
Emotions that somehow
Gift us with possibility
In the midst of lost
Friendships and
Anchors and seeds
That we plant in
People around us that
We love and in some
Way they lose sight of us
Our disappointments
Lingering to be loved
Investing all that we have
To grant and somehow
Left with the aching of
Comet like movements that
Don’t include us when
They leave and here
We stay as we wait
To fill the heart with a
Grace that wishes for
More than just in and out
Visits or almost important
Enough forgettable moments
Left without a trace of
What was thought to
Be a connection
Wavering wishing
Wanting for somewhere
That feels better
Than nothing borne
With a considerable
Forbearance

Wafted

My memories are still hard and fresh
Crisp like the air from yesterday
Would I not be left then on the
Back porch like a pickled carcass
Had I not stood up for myself
My feelings, my wishes, my hopes
And my dreams waiting to be
Fulfilled in the belly of my heart
With the rapture of true love

Never to fear death more
Perhaps even the return would be
Unthinkable yet as the incense
Travels through the backdoor
Indulging the wind with its
Wafted recollections
Only a steel trap mind could
Choose to forget it
But why would it then
Oh how the essence of the past
Fed on vengeance with
Resentment and the corruption
Like soup served before us at the table
Ready to lap it up for love
What tremendous companionship

Love coasting through every artery
As if the Torah were in every cell
Of the bodies future and the
Softness of possibilities made
Sweet figs for us to feed one
Another even though the pain
Of existence was in need of
Wet tenderness wrapped
About the epidermis of worded wounds
Begging for mercy only for
Love nothing but love

What an exchange of banter
Ideas or captured thoughts
If the trade were only for love
And not for anything else

Anodyne

He laid down to hold her
Like mourning a ghost
You could hear the walls howl
And her wife begged him to
Understand that she meant well
But his heart was broken and
Was screaming in his dreams
Or was it just the sound
Of a past that they all
Promised to love one another
But no matter how hard he
Tried to love her it would
Always be on her terms and he
Was keeping his pledge to do so
Making it difficult to feel loved
In return conditionally she had
Reservations and conversations with
Her mother and her lover
Her wife and every other
He always wanted to be
As important as they but never
A replacement just to
Matter as much but
There was nothing
To kill the pain just
Mourning the apparition
As he spooned her on the floor
Of their past a memorial
To friendship and love
And how he had indeed
Honestly lost her

Wheedle

Now is a good time
To formulate dreams
Of a better world

Sleuthing through the gates
Of everyday existence
I feel this immense amount
Of pressure to follow through
With what I said I’m going to do
Changes are being made to us
Beyond our control

Guileless was my spirit
Even though she was so unholy
In some ways still
It brought out my best sides

I feel the sticky
Coming unstuck
Like the marshmallow of life
A past that holds on
Ungluing itself

What pleasure
What deliciousness
How the past can take flight

Psychic dreams
Fireside murmurings

Hyaline

In a transparent plastic free
Earth like experience he
Let go of all the other crap
That was holding him back
But in wild wonder still had
Enough left in him to be
Graceful with even the
People that didn’t want
To care or know how he was
Is it because when we let go
We give up our best selves
In a permission thrown
Over the fire all the words
That we need to take flight
Even without a response
It seems impossible to
Request that if any person
Should want to smile back
Share the existence
Or same sentiment
Of what he recognized
In the gorgeousness of the past
Where it belongs
Where it can be left
Where it also lives on

Binoculars

I want to add you to my grocery list
My favorite thing to bring home
The universe takes a hand in
Directing the traffic of our lives
Driving in multiple lanes
Past, Present and Future
Something beyond what people find
I’m in love with my past self
And all the memories that define
My present self
Currently swarming with
Destiny on fire
Every hindered sentiment
Aching to create new feelings
To coexist and relate to new beings
Oh but to predict connection
Shakespeare in future conflict
Awakened by conception
The best is yet to come
While the theater of my life is
Playing out in a charade
Of kaleidoscopic colors
Rejected blips and blunders
Fall away in neon spells
The city roads behind me
The canyon fortune tells
I am someone’s forgotten
And someone else’s found
I am the past in someone’s eyes
As the future comes around

No Strings

You have to be stronger
Than the illness itself especially
If it’s yours but even more so
If it’s someone else’s
Beleaguered or not
You can’t make everybody
That surrounds you happy
But you can feel good about
Knowing you did all that you could
To extend a full heart
Genuine intent pure gold
And then the love goes on
All of the love that has been
Had for you still exists
That love goes on
Without those that love you
Whom you no longer have contact with

You will still have that love for them
And they for you memory energy
Whether you continue on
The same path or take different turns
That love will always exist
Purposefully maintaining its continuity
To always return to that love
Without any requirement to ever do so
As complex as love is
It is also simple
It is in our hearts
And in our own powers
To receive it or to let it be