Glassy

Arctic circle
It’s cold up here where
Feelings are forgotten
I was choosing something
I wanted to wear
And joining a party
Of many people celebrating
A new home for a family
On my way I met up
With a group of singers
One was asking someone
To practice some unusual
Vocal techniques and when
They gave up I asked if I could try
My first shot at this was not
Refined; not good enough
But the next one was divine
I was doing things with
My vocal chords I
Didn’t know I was capable of
I was invited back and
Stepped out into a party
That was happening outside
Where people recognized me
But I didn’t know them
One girl took my keys and
Tried to open her car door
Full well knowing she wouldn’t
Achieve getting it open
I let her try
But then many different sets of keys
That were not mine we’re coming
Back at me and in my frustration
I was losing time
But a small boy
Something like an angel
Kissed her forehead and said
You’ll probably be here for a long time?
Posed as a question I realized
My consideration was vacant
He was right let’s be patient
And then a truck pulled up to
Make her keys so she could
Get inside and it was time
To exit to go to the party
That we’d been waiting for
Where hundreds of people
We’re planning to show and
I knew no one but the host
And found her graciously
Upstairs I was helping organize
Her tapes from old videos and
Classes that she taught
Trying to make sense of
All the titles and the orders
That they went
Time to go again
With smiles exchanged I stopped
In the living room to take it in
Many glass figurines
Some were life size
Highlighted in red shadows and dancing
As I left I pushed through
The crowd now growing bigger
To celebrate this moment
With this incredible woman
I barely knew
Still it felt warm in what began
As an arctic circle with
Glass figurines

© GÄ

Bells

Maybe money
Is more important to you
Maybe respect
Means nothing for you
Maybe the whole world
Revolves around you
Like the sun

Trust is delicate
With people that have been
Broken into
You made a choice
That was for you
That was for YOU!

I can be here to support that
But not as a friend really
If I have to be a companion
To myself

The choice you made
Erased the trust
That I had for you
When you said you wouldn’t do
What you did finally do

Poor communication
Negative approach
Springing it on me
Even in winter

And so we keep the
Peace, peace, peace
I will show up for
You, you, you
But as a friend
It will feel so contrary
So opposite and empty
For what you looked past
In me feels lost

I love to see a bird walking
Instead of flying across the street
Choices were made

© GÄ

Shilly Shally

If it wasn’t this
It would be something else
My condolences
For all the things
He should’ve said
Or wanted to
But didn’t still
If it wasn’t this
It would be something else
Maybe boys
Don’t always grow up
To be men
Maybe love is just
A thing we feel
When people are gone
If it wasn’t this
It would be something else
And the rest of us
Watch the sun go down
On our favorite shoes
And the pictures on the walls
That tell the story too
Hard to tell
Let the future tell it
For us cause
If it wasn’t this
It would be something else
And that’s all there
Is to it

© GÄ

Digits

In my experience some
People can do better
When they don’t get along
You focus on you
l focus on me
Bloody tears

Have a cry out at the park
Solemnly

This is the heart of my defense
Blank slate
Broken chalkboard
Gun powder on my heart
Bad television
Red eyes
Flashing lights

Spit out the bad
White smoke in
Black smoke out
Ooh ouais ooh ouais ooh
Left hand turn
Into oblivion

Remember how grandma
Used to leave the
Handwoven dishrags wet
In the ceramic kitchen sink
I would suck on them
When no one was around
Must not have been
Properly weened
Or I liked the taste of soap
That was put in my mouth too
I was so obedient
I can’t see what satisfaction
That could’ve brought her

Decisions were made
Developments crumbled
There’s no one coming
To retrieve you in the aftermath
You give your own self power

© GÄ

Aerate

It doesn’t matter when people lie
If it’s their truth

What you’re experiencing
Can’t be marked only
By chance

Lies are like games
Asking again and again
When you know I’m not okay

This time it can’t be
Marked by chance
This time it can’t be
Marked by destiny
It’s just probable
Repeated assault
Will destroy you

Wanting you
To appreciate me

Empty space
Blue echoes

I’m over your hands
All the tattoos
Storytelling
Truth or lies?
I’m over your mouth
All the promises spewed
Draw me down
Fill me up with self-doubt

Heart pump sound
One eye closed

I need some oceanography
Empty gin bottle
Train tracks nearby
Hurt feelings again

The underscore
He says we can start living?
Delicate threads
Our own realities

Who will we be then?
Even if we choose to be
Alone together

© GÄ

Hideaway

When one connection goes down
Another one comes up
Sort of like numbers
Or electromagnetic
Crossings

One feels horrible
One feels good
The other feels bad
Again one is good

Which way it will go
Is like a jinx
In the flow
Feel the negative move
When the choice is made
Positive crimes

B.Y.O.B. bravery
Personal reactions
Easier said than done
Try to stay alive
Table for one?

Consequence of our distractions
Is simply to stay alive
It’s only when we die
That we find ourselves
Living the cost free life

People that play with money
Pay with money
More rain than rainbows
Pots of gold
Sold to the highest bidder
That’s American soil

I’m dreaming
Of a beach in
L’archipel de Santorin

© GÄ

Adhesiva

Climbing to the top of the stairs
I did my best to make it there
I watched as people slid down
Behind me in a spiral falling
Sliding down down down
I’m climbing up up up
I’m climbing far into the unknown
And the woman who met me there
She was a black goddess
Advising me to become more gummy
Dark curly short hair
Bright eyes trusting lips
Gospel truth entelechy
She put tacky glue on her shoes
Something sticky as the
Slant went further up
She said follow me and we
Climbed higher to the top
On slippery plastic
I watched and as she demonstrated
Each step I mimicked her walk
To make it to the soft green
Bed of earth that awaited us
Beneath a daylight sky of stars
No stress of worry in this place
Feeling’s were respected
And appreciated
Promises kept and held
Most importantly for him
There was meaning there when
A person said something
You have been heard
Those who exist here
Have listened to your words
They are not half dead
The oracle is not awake or asleep
Consistent certainty is ours

© GÄ

Boho 보호

The left over bits
Uncertainty says I trust you
But not all the way
What is deep trust
What do we do with the surface shit

There is no ground zero
You are who you are
We can evolve

La peur de vivre
Maybe you want to believe
It’s all just an accident
No concern for others needs
Just his own

Yeah
So we all just say ok
Whatever you say

You cry and apologize
An apology that ends with
Hurting me the other person

I should be the one crying
Instead I am comforting

Misguided by
A fantasy love for
The possibility of someone
Actually being a man of their word

What would my grandpa do?
Smile and chide the disrespect

Is there more to life than
Our mental health
Set that aside
Slide away

Two halves
If mental health exists
Both sides should be consulted
Protecting your health from harm
Harming your health by
Protecting it

© GÄ

Facetious

Now that I have enough money
I don’t need you anymore she said

We relocated and she was secure
She took me to a few places that were
Familiar to her and expected me
To fly out of town

But I decided to stay

There were also temples all around
Reminded me of Thailand
From one end of the street
To the other and a new
Dog companion I thought

I could live here

I can find a place
I too have enough money now
So really we were both waiting
On one another to become
Financially sufficient

The dog was happier with me
The apartment they were living in
Was really too many floors up
We needed ground level
Something more about him
Not them

I went on the hunt for the new place
The sun wasn’t out quite yet
But it was still light

We made it back to the mall
Where her new job was
Fancy taking care of rich children
They needed love too

But the rules were stricter
I didn’t know how to love you either
She said something like
Your brother said

I want you to be happy now

© GÄ

Sward

A sward before me
Grassy green verdant plain
If you’ve ever known pain
Then you know how difficult it is to feel
I loved him the most
Without him that part of me is empty

I hold your pillow

She wasn’t nice to me
But to everyone else for her it was easy

To be nice

Fifty two hours was too much for them
To share with me for a friend
In the course of one year
They needed it all {their time}
So again; lost friend
A pain sets in that is
Too hard to talk about

I have a person she said
Meaning {not you}

Why do I feel like I still look like
I’m seventeen to the world
Inside still just a boy
Wanting to connect with everyone
Undying youthful heart
But a man who is realizing
It may be time to share
His experience

Guidance

Are we one day elders
Are we one day teaching
Unexpectedly
Is this wisdom?

© GÄ