To Be There

There’s many hearts that I have loved
Perhaps not quite as much as you
In turn I’ve loved a lot of things
And many people this is true
But none are quite as lovely as
All the lovely things you do
Excited ways you make me feel
Turbulent shocks vibrating through
I’d kiss the bottoms of your feet
Make your bed tuck you to sleep
Brush your hair back from your eyes
Caress your cheeks and kiss your thighs
Listen to all the tales you tell
Make sure your heart is beating well
Create a space for you to be
Never disturb your sanctity
Given to all the things you are
Amongst them willing to go far
There’s never been one quite like you
Of folks among you there are few
If there is anything you need
Rest assured I’ll happily
Be there for you in every way
Just name the time, the place, the day
It may not dawn on you at all
That I could feel this way at all
But say the word no matter where
You have my promise to be there

© GÄ

Memories

Memories of fulfilling
The need to have
What we want to be
Records messages
Out loud in a way
That each beginning
Echos creating
An end
That we can hear
Much more succinctly
When stings the latter

Everything that you have
Desired you already
Asked for you and it is only
Waiting to be recognized

Paint the stars
Even when
The potential seems like ice
Picture it warm
Mellow melting
Into what you
Wish it would become

Quietly sneaking up into
Your excitement
Applying color
To the thought
Dress it up
Take it out dancing
Even in fields of
Unrequited joy

It will be there

© GÄ

There

I feel a distance a dissonance an echo
From the floor up like a swirl of
Confusion winding its way
Through the people that
Know me but do not
Understand me

Is it because I make it difficult to see me
Or are you someone who finds it
Challenging to love
Is this a self care thing
Is it jealousy, is it fear
What is it that will
Not allow us to
Be near

It seems so obvious
That a person in need of help
Is the first go to and
Because this is what I do
I ask why does it feel strange
That I do not see it in you?

Speaking specifically to the installation
Of creation that I made for all of us
When it was all said and done
Only one of you took down a single
One all of the effort on my
Part even in a time of need
That would have helped me
To feel loved only one of
You bought a canvas
The artwork
Of us

It sits in my closet and I am still proud
Was it because I scared you with
The anniversary of my brother’s death
Was it because you are just too superficial
To realize?
Was it because you thought I simply
Made a bad choice in life
And that I lied?
Do you think me fake
When everything in me
Was ready to break
The people that were invested
In the project I felt left it
For dead
This is all in my head no?
Or just a reoccurring nightmare with
Work flow that I cannot seem
To put my finger on

I think about the time that I took to
Reset myself and I wonder what
Happened when I was gone?
What were the sounds that
Got thrown around from
The bowl
To the break room

From the front of the room to the back
Trophies everywhere my heart
Invested minute by minute of the
Five weeks that I spent without
Sleep nor care for my own time
To accomplish something I
Am still so very proud of

But like a stain it rests there
I take this as my art to bear
But still cannot figure
Out why I feel an emptiness
When I know that
There was more depth
Than any of us had ever shared
On a project like this

The true haunting
The true scare
Happy Halloween
I have loved you
With my mark
There

© GÄ