poetry – Page 36 – Poétique

Wins

Pondering the hurtles of everyday life
The black and white of not over analyzing
It is what it is no matter how you look at it
The end result is also the only result in the end
Like running through an obstacle course
Of used up tires careful not to trip
We slip one foot into each hole and
Quickly quip the other foot out carefully
The more we perfect the rhythm
The better we are at it
He begs to question is life
What it was always going to be
Or did he have something to do with it?
Having others around can make it easier
Having others around can make it harder
His perception was only his perception
It doesn’t mean anything to be caught up
Or cavity free because ultimately
It will come around and there it is again

Someone to celebrate the wins with
That would be nice no one there to
Cheer you on that you got over that hump
I remember some elders mentioning
“Must be nice to be so young, just over there having all the fun.”
Like someone had ripped it away from them
We don’t really understand this
Consciously at the time and why would we…
When we’re busy enjoying our lives!

Before and after a pandemic
There were dreams to read more
To finally settle the scoreboard
To do all the things that
We never finished before and wanted to
But they didn’t get done
We kept doing what we wanted
What we were drawn to; fun
Eventually the box is checked
The circle is complete
After weeks and months of defeat
Life is the extreme version of this
Loud jets in the cloudy mist
He ends up on the other side of
His epidemic still wondering
When will he finish everything
And with whom will he
Celebrate the wins?
Cold air fades out

Forklift

We can adjust a reactory behavior
By doing the opposite thing
Experience it and then do not respond to
Any reaction for the experience
Something is changing the way
Your body is processing the status
And the world around you
For instance like glass breaking
Or a tea bag opening in your cup
Becomes mundane
So if it is a choice
Than the thought is
Open Opened Opens
It doesn’t exist to be bad in our mouths
The taste we have the longer we’re alive
The more memories we plant
The more joy the more leaves
And the more pain we record
I can feel it pumping
Underneath the skin
Living in the body with
A conscientiousness that begins
Says why don’t you unfold your self
To everything you’ve always wanted
Red circle and emotional pallets
Laughing out loud alone
Basic lifestyle familiarity on the couch
Forklifting the universe
He spills the tea

Pillars

I was thinking of changing
My name to banana
No particular reason
I just like bananas
Also I finally realized
I’ve had too many eggs
In one basket
In the wrong basket
That’s bananas right?
I’ve been wrapped so tightly
Could someone please unwrap me?
I’m not sure how I got wound
In such a way like a knot!
You can’t unthread it
Release me unravel
The tangles of my heart
Attempting to hold it all together
In columns upright
To keep it from falling apart
The strength of all pillars
Coming out from the center of me
Is it my job to do my best
To hold it all up or do I just
Let it simply flow freely
On its own without any help
Watch it float away possibly crumble
It’s out of our control anyway
Wait, watch now, there it goes
Do I call it back?
Beckon to it to let it know
How much it’s wanted?
Something about being desired
I long for a custom
That reminds others they are
Wanted too

Shoes

I can still hear the words
“It seems like you’re not that into it”
But of course you already knew
It was a big deal for me to be there in the first place
I couldn’t even look you in the eyes
The last time I tried I had to climb
Off and away from you outside because your
Demeanor was fake and explosive
I couldn’t believe that whatever
You were exclaiming loud enough
For the entire neighborhood to hear
Wake the dead bury my head endure
In a corner under a blanket how demure
Blackout the images I still can’t erase
More like a possessed form of grunting was real
What’s her name? Emily Rose or Sybil Dorsett
Hannah Grace same idea similar face
Harsh to say but everything was replaced
Ingenuine it was all about the show
Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Do it some more
That’s what was so scary; frighteningly so
Time to go not time to stick around
And see how red the flags can get
Kindly removing myself from the rebound
You know screaming at the top of
Your lungs doesn’t prove anything
More than borderline personality
Insanity and two times over I tried
Harder even with your lovers’ pretend smile
To be best friends again and again
And though the memories pained me more
To restrain myself from ever before going there
Again and again because it was hard enough
To lose a friend and to let go of the toxic flow
Of what I thought was love but no longer
Can it be allowed to steal the show and to also
Leave me standing in the shoes that belong to me
Believing I can do it without you was difficult
And your best friend that tried to
Pretend to love me again is the
Hardest part but the best thing I
Can do to prove that I love myself
Enough again is not to put myself through it
Into that posture or position any longer
We all gave each other something
The trade off is over

Look Up

Red stars blinding light
Wake up on the ground
Covered by the sound of
Electricity and lightning
Roaring down words come
Through not specifically to
A wonderstorm of emotional
Capacity to drag the self around
By the back of your own neck
Ready for anything aahh! any
Split second and the only
Thing holding oneself back is
Unappreciated happiness
Bubbling underneath the surface
Of a roof that’s about to crack
From the internal delicious
Pleasures of desire and passion
A release that has been waiting
To explode leaving more than a
Memento behind a trail of cosmic
Dust to find a way back
To the start from the beginning
Remembering hiding underneath
The sheets only so innocently
No one could see what was
Happening after all its
None of my business what
Anyone thinks about me

Ombragé

Panther spirit galvanized
Protection for the self startled
Out from the shell glowing black orb
Circling around claws out
Careful not to oversleep
Every reordering of words
As they reach the surface
Teach and nurture us
How to breathe
Learning how to walk again
On the same two feet
We’ve been standing with now four
Accounting days, months and centuries
Funny they should be so capable
Yet somehow disagree
The memory gap between
An imprint unforeseen by
Many who have never been
Outside of what was once before
For where they’ve lived till then
Is inside of what’s been cultivated

So two steps outside restored
Both dogs out the door
No more one foot in and one foot out
No need to hold onto the other
We’re not remembering in this
Moment it’s just learning
How to walk again
Familiar motions in a different way
Inner strength and the panther is
Invited with no cage
To guide to smell to lead astray
From the pattern of the past ingrained

Ingredients to be stirred in ways
We’ve yet cooked up to live; to crave
With all the recipes and notes
All the structures confidently
Confirming a free configuration
Of discovery and exposure
How to grab hold of the thing
We were always fighting for
But in the wake took time to heal
And could not rationalize
A halfway mark was tread
New beginnings toward the homestead
In the same satellite that was
Launched five decades ago
Regeneration of the womb
Outside the soul

Shallow

Letting go to arrive in the moment
Instead of spending time trying to
Figure out if it was possible to be
Enjoying it or not is the opposite of being
Alive more like trying to drive all the time

Small town fame never was what
He claimed he wanted more about
Recognition for his art and connection
But the fact of the story telling timed
Out and running for the door he found
An entrance into another world that
Had nothing to do with celebrity or being
Known or being busy trying not to
Break the wardrobe or the code

A forest of questions and concerns
Too recognized hiding behind bushes
Writing letters on the curb he would
Never send but also stamps were
Overrated and the concept of waiting
For a response was so outdated
Not like texting which got the point
Across but couldn’t really be interpreted
Correctly because the tone was all wrong
In the other persons head what a
Ridiculous conundrum connecting
But not really just putting gas in the tank

Afraid to actually be the self that is
Trying to climb outside for fear that it
Would become too easy for people to
Leave again it’s so intense asking
People to show up and so much that
It makes the whole world no more fun
Thirsty for rollercoasters and getting
Less close for people to disappear
Or disappoint no need to get that deep
Just dance full sweep food and then sleep

Underway

Little Misbegotten
Glistening grass in the underpass
The more captivating you are
The more captured they become
You strengthen ties
Build truthful lies
You think you have a connection
And then it dies
No one left to wonder why
People will do what they want
Whether you ask them to or not
Don’t move or you’ll get yourself
All wet and water hits the ground
No solid matter to be found
A touch of insanity and a perfect
Cast of foundation to
Disguise the blemishes
How convenient to be born with
Perfect skin and secretly
Beguiled behind the veil of
Misunderstanding and knots
Wanting to be Little Misunforgotten
Maybe people had grown tired
Maybe the yawns were legitimate
Questions to be answered
Were waiting at the foot of the stairs
But the approximate time
For arrival was undetermined

Temporary

They lock in and latch on
Pretty fangs smile their way in through
Footsteps at your doorway
Drink up everything you’ve got
And then go away because they
Don’t need you anymore in that way
Scratching at my teeth that’s what’s up
Massaging the skin down to the bone
Checking for a pulse
Is there anyone home?
Knocking on the door of my heart
Is anybody there
Or did they take it all; the furniture too
You know how they do it
Find you so impulsive and beautiful
Full of creativity and certainty
Delicious and ready to drink you gone
And then they are no longer thirsty
Anymore and they disappear
Geranium dreams and nightmares
Seem to pull the trigger sink their teeth
Snap the strings hold on tight
More wanting more recovery from the bite
Where did everyone go??
Too much energy filled their cup
And off again god forbid
That they hang around for a minute
But the lesser of the two spreads wings
And finds grace to say happy
To have the opportunity to meet you
Even if it meant you couldn’t stay
Even if you meant to say..
Even if it’s time to go..
Thanks for stopping by even so

Ambigram

I tried to draw an ambigram
With my mind in my dreams
And otherwise to paint a picture
That could be seen and understood
From all sides day and night
Conscious and unconsciously
Below the moon above the sun
Upside down and right side up
I found the liquid in my cup
Travelling sideways every time
I wanted to create something to
Believe the writing on the walls
Would not lead me to deceive
Myself again hot or cold
Spicy or plain the whole engagement
Left me saying to myself,
“My heart couldn’t take it again.”

But in the mornings as I showered
Your memory gleaned and glowered
Like a fantasy or a fairytale
One of my elders read to me in
A library somewhere or in a bed
Before I lay me down to get some rest
And inevitably comes the morn’
And breaks the dawn and so the
Wanting and the longing and the warnings

Beware you cost yourself a lifetime of
Unloving for one occasional drop of honey
And the wet pillows that you left behind
Tear soaked should stand to be reminded
Of the sadder times you’d never quite
Caught on to realize would be the precedent
The winning factor the pine cones kicked around
Frozen fingers to the bone
Underneath one hundred blankets
Just to keep warm for all you wanted
Was to be loved

And when it ebbs and flows
It comes and goes it leaves you
With the worst of what recovering
From what you wanted
Then you had
Now it’s gone

That’s the way it is unwritten
In the song of our delusion