poetry – Page 42 – Poétique

Hence Why

Today I want a porch swing
A bottle of wine and
A cigarette with you
It might hang on me tomorrow
But today that’s what
I want with you
Been awhile since I had
A case of the cocktail flu
Rinse wash repeat

Adulthood

We say more words when we do drugs
Don’t lob my heart or be absurd
I thought you might be my
Most consistent friend
You know my longest friend
Sort of like a sanctuary
Without the religious parts
Oh, just like one of those
Places you go to laugh eternally
Until your stomach hurts
And they have no order or rules
No effort or strain
For how to go about
Having a good time
Telling us how to live
Following some strict regime
Why did we have to grow up
Up up and away
We’d gotten on so well
Before we became adults
And here I am
Examining my own life

Double Hearts

Loving life to the fullest
No fear of dying
Cause I’ve got you by my side
Always trying
To get closer to our childhood
When you’re not here
It’s what I’m fantasizing of
Holding you close
Wishing I had a chance
Heartwarming the summit
Our potential experiment
Talking through the vale
Depending on the weather
I found a pair of socks
That remind me of you
I think I only wore them
When I was with you
The summer before you left
Or did I leave?
It’s unclear two beating hearts
In two different places
Without a choice

Deeper Thoughts

Entangled with the horns
Of a bull and the heart of a whale
A little rough and tumble
I’m not sad. This is art.

I’m trying to get closer to my memories
& the harder I swim the faster they come

I feel remorse about fatal occurrences
Especially those which I cannot prevent

Even totally unrelated to me personally
And out of my control
In someone else’s corner

Occasionally defeated

Still I am full
Still I am unprepared
Still I am resilient

Redeeming the world in a happier light
Crops up a broken morning
Resisting AI by the grace
Of my Buddha-head
And a dream filled bed
Of possibilities

What If’s

Don’t live with the what if’s
I tell myself
Even if they make me
Want to slur
All my words with a
Love drunk tongue
Towards the end I was
Mostly drinking to sleep
Afraid to wake up to myself
With you or alone
Until my compass could direct me
To someone who
Would make me feel good
It was a necessary disaster
Erupting to happen what if
Even at the cost of being empty
Even when I didn’t
Know how much lava
Was left in the volcano
You are my mystery to solve what if
You tell me what I share
With you is beautiful
Even if I believe it’s mediocre
Turning over my earth
I have my eyes on you confidently
Wherever you’re hiding I’m ready
Two bastards cut away
At my vulnerabilities yesterday
It feels like boxing at the truth
Waking up today a reason to fight
Sitting on top of the moon
I have to give my heart a chance
Even if it breaks for you- no what ifs

As a Woman

If I came back as a woman
Would you love me
Would you want me
Do women that live here now
Have a better chance than I
If I came back as one
Would you notice me
Would you want to be
Close to me
Like I want to be close
To you now
Maybe I’m being too vague
Not enough likes
Not looking for likes
Looking for love
As a man

Someone Again

Eating soup eating soup
Nothing left broken teeth
Underneath nothing left
Still we cover up the crime
In the clink of our endgame
Inside the body arrived
Black web of deception
What is easy, what is hard?
One step at a time
Ringside we decide
One step at a time
Maybe the Bahamas
Maybe Greece
Or Copenhagen
Old old young
Someone again
Wake up one day
Old old young
Light eyes dark eyes
Circles and lies
Friendship cries
I remember you
Invincible
People try to warn you
A little bit short
On the remaining balance
A trip to Mexico go, go
Cheaper there
Go because we’re not
Getting any younger
Go because you want
To live fifty years longer
Be someone again
Go because you’re
Gonna wanna kiss
Someone again

Empathy

Seeking empathy will
Gain you nothing
So many days I have
Wandering in aimlessness
Where has all the
Empathy gone?
Was I living under
Some rock
When the devotion
To greedy emotion
Settled in
Head in a trash bag
Or under a shadow
I swear only a pillow
In my sleep
Did it happen in my sleep?
That I woke up from a dream or
Some made up fantasy
That people are
Capable of empathy?
Folks comparing their own
Breakdowns and setbacks
To yours because they can’t
Climb out of their
Own pits and here
I see myself running round
Chasing empathy
Hoping you’ll see me
Chasing empathy
Wondering recklessly
Chasing empathy
Feelings escaping me
Chasing empathy

Happily Escaped

You don’t apply the same
Expectations you have on others
To yourself and everything’s
A syndrome of something else
Fuck the syndromes
Maybe we’re just human
What happens when the love
Breaks down and the brutal
Emotional stabbing goes on
Lest life abandon us all
Must we find time to enjoy it
Before we come
To the end of it all
Say goodbye to the cunt
Of an existence
That was holding you back
A person
A place
Or a thing
Waking up from the night
Of denial I am reminded
Of a future self
Almost presented as
A past recollection
That you are only
Looking out for yourself
Driving a wedge
You may weaken your own
Empathy by placating
A cinematic character
Of yourself in some
Casablancan way
Being consciously capable
Befalling my actions
I have happily escaped

Window

My normalcy is electronic
Insanity world crashing down
No video stalemate a wall
Most vulnerable and
Succulent for the taking
I stood at the window
Of my back porch
Barefoot and oblivious
Repeating
What’s next!
What’s next?
Many of us want to be
Held I’m sure today
I felt that way a bit more
Like I was hoping to
Crawl back into bed with
Someone or even bolster
Up some gladitude
Knowing I had nowhere
To be or go but back into
Some silly situation
In a messy bed
But the grey sky
Offered me many delights
Knowing that if not today
Some other