Geino Äotsch

Roadtrip

Everyone has to be awake
In a unique way in traffic
A collective consciousness of
Being aware as an orchestra might be

I noticed the little red trees
Sparingly they were positioned on the
Background of a hill that reminded
Me of a roadtrip I took once
But the weather was not the same

I’m sorry that I couldn’t stand your heat
In many ways we were perfectly suited
Such a familiar face I can almost see
You everywhere like some anti dismal
Gesture of a once treasured canvas
Awww, suppose we always ache
For the sweet natured side!

It wasn’t like I’d never heard a woman yell before
More so the act was something I was
Trying to escape or run away from
I’m not sure that I intended to completely
Isolating myself from you; but my body
Always knew there was no guard
From a woman who screamed like that
Tantrums for adults one could say

In the resistance the push back was
A bit more like attempting to sing
Something I’d been practicing as a soloist
To a woman who was truly unable to
Appreciate my identity so the voice
actually fell flat and she mocked me
A bit by not staying to share her opinion

Really trying to do your best is
A bit like purposefully failing yourself
Without actually knowing that you
Might have been better off with
A performance that was worth
Much less in your mind
A note I wrote down permanently
On the inside for safekeeping

A little of this and a little of that
Built up overtime and though I
Felt resistant to the storm at times
I had only myself to keep me warm
Or take the brunt of dissolution

What a beautiful shame to be
Surrounded by such adversity and
To also misunderstand its love
I always said thunderbolts and lightning
Were better for the theater of heaven
And dramatic bitching so much
More divine to take in on a silver screen

Even though she was on edge
Until we got home;
Car rides weren’t completely unbearable
But they sure did leave a mark

Scoreless

It didn’t really matter after
A few days had passed
He turned the corner and
All the leaves were upside down

One gust of wind was just enough
To perfectly land them this way
Belly up the rest of the night
Must have been quite a sight
But the remaining plants
Weren’t saying anything yet

And then he heard someone holler
beyond the property line,
“In order to survive, we steal and we thieve!”

The texture in the air brought back
Memories of forgetting how to
Wake up regularly as if the
New day was the only thing
That mattered and no one
Knew how to keep score

As before life became like a card game
And we were all tallying our wins
Attempting to excuse our losses
When the best part was just
Experiencing it all by calling
An old friend who understood
Him better than the rest of the world

But he hadn’t had his coffee yet
Because he no longer drank coffee
And thus this made it complicated
To have the first conversation
On any dog walk because momentary
Silence was required to be
His whole self again but this was also new
Like keeping score so the decision
Was necessary to be made

There would be no more adding
There would be no more subtractions
He would only be

Hopscotch

Wake up and the point is moot
What a relief no need to harp
Or uproot any more of that
Ridiculously obstinate tumbling

Found a rock in the street
I’m convinced that it’s magical
Powers will carry me through
The rest of the week rain or shine

Hopscotch chalk is melting
On the sidewalk underneath
What’s left of the pale green
Tree moss and pine cones
Rolling around like the neighbors
Kids did late summer

Winter is bringing a peaceful
Blanket to cover the chaos
Of people shouting obscenities
One more concert of roses left
To behold a chorus of color
Emboldened by their last
Opportunities to celebrate romance

Squirrels hanging upside down
Like bats in trees for the remaining nuts
The neighbors dog is still barking
Fixated on the possibilities
Of something’s to come apparently

A toast for tomorrow’s unpredictability
A magic punch for everyone to drink
I love the way the traffic lights reflect
After a downpour in the asphalt streets

No one likes the construction
Holding up everything especially
After a good nights sleep

Trickery

You didn’t know she would be so clever
So innocently you are watering the flowers
The garden is your wishful thinking
And then behind your back she
Makes moves to ruin your life for you
You still befriend her and send her things
That she absolutely does not want
But you continue and you never know
That all along she was conniving behind
You and she was planning your demise
Revenge against what you took away
Yes even tarnishing her wishes
She was plotting to kill your happiness
Because for you to experience joy
Made her feel like she was dying
I was only the one she used to see
Her plan through and I didn’t even
Know that her animosity was so strong
That it could cut up also the slightest
Most innocent part of me but
She made it easy to dice because our
Traumas were the same and the history
Was to blame for everything you did
To me you did also to her and it
Made it too perfect to run the blade into
A cavity that was waiting to be
Leveled out like a massacre for love
That was lost on her front porch
Where you left all those memories
In some hot sudoric town in Florida

Feign

Darling, dance like a dragonfly
     Even when narcolepsy sets in;
Fireflies will keep us awake,
     Watch me get lighthearted.

Moonlight over some pretty blue grass,—
Or the way the clouds hang like coral cauliflowers
In the sky when I see the world through different eyes,
     Notice how the praying mantises have so little to complain about outside?

Of the people who live there, I realize- the forest leaves will turn around,
     There is a new rule that you are breaking but you didn’t know existed!
Trees might yearn to find a carpet of herbage to magically fly away on.

Venting

Clamorously to the Gods
When the flames are licking at your feet
You try to get away from the burns
Some times they touch you
And it hurts all up your backside
And you have the marks and the
Healing to do but if you can
Get out of the fire there is no
Need to dwell there venting deeply
As strong as the wind
Your tongue comes out lashing
Around like the fire that burned you
Even if you stay consistent
And you pulsate so exactly to the T
You can still be unnoticeable
You can still be incomplete
How can we be resistant to it
Even in solitude although
You have been told you have
Everything you need
You are learning how to inherit yourself
How much power are we throwing away
Giving up when we release our emotions
To others even screaming silently
And how much power are we
Gaining back in ourselves when we
Let go of the pooling sediment
That weighs like rocks in the gut
All sewn up and dragging around
When the combustible flames of
Untamed whips and chains come calling
To smack you down and around
We find a way to put the ashes out
Walking like a burning bright red ember
To appease the sickening that
Comes after as you process the pain
Of melting internally and you feel
Your heart aching and your bones
Cracking and breaking down you
Stamp out the disdain with your langue
Hot like the fires of underworld
Trying not to taste the soup of conversation
Before it can burn holes in you
You breathe before an altar of trees
Venting to the Gods on your knees

Blue Snake

Blue snake you are sweet
You are like my dog I carry you
With me everywhere you are
Not dangerous although people
Fear you I warn them that it is ok
With a smile you search around to
Investigate from my pocket and my
Hand still trying to stretch away from
Me your neck gets smaller and smaller
Thinner and thinner but I don’t want
You to leave back into my pocket
You go and then I search around
And you are detached you have
Become a blue rope and twine
Where is my pet! Where is my snake!
Now you are red and not so long
Squirming a bit around like a bent stick
Of dynamite but still soft finding now
Who you are figuring out what you’ve
Become and I carry you away
And I carry you home to continue to play
And I am out in the field with a peachy
White colored dog who is happy to fetch
I am hitting the eaten up tennis balls
Now some of them only rubber
Throw them into the air for you to
Catch and the timing is everything
As I toss them up and bat them out
And the day is warm and the sun
Is bright and the lawn is luxuriously green
And the two men on the grass sitting
In chairs aside from me in sunglasses say
You’ll probably hit your target
If you just swing

What do you mean? Blindly I swing

Grandiflora

With a grandiloquent tongue
The boy could not tell a tale
Not even one could go unspun
Without the flowery need to
Spin the words forth hence
Were always chiming out
With eloquence for even in
A wake of abrogating tide
His inner workings pushed
A gale of winds with currents
Positive and wide and so the
Outbursts became inbursts
To protect the shiny smiles
And his sense to make the best
Was what he wore to yield the
Wilds but still with all the
Gorgeous things that could be said
There rested stories left unshared
Inside his head and thus he
Needed safe passages and places
To commune and let the words
With ease flow out to not implode
Find a place wherein the sagas
Could be shared that he did hold
So unsaid words were trickling out
Unexpectedly he found them
Eventually creeping and seeping
All about the tiny cracks between
His tightly fused upper and lower lips
His feelings were determined
To be heard and oozed unhinged

Aspect

Lift the load pull the weight of things
Burn the candle at both ends
It’s only been three years that I’ve
Been doing all these things in this
Routine and so the military aspect
Asks me to double triple up
I mask my serenity and take it
Too seriously it’s almost dramatic
I am a result of my own actions
I want to manage at a low key level
Ask for help when only necessary
This is my modus operandi
Self sufficiency until we break
Release the string and march again
It’s not the end until the end
Put my finger to my lips and shhhh
So many people have it worse
But our realities feel the pain
Individually their is no comparison
What is the weight of the world
If only 9, 200 milliards not so bad
So we hold our heads up high
Ask for guidance from divine
Alternate invisible energies
Send in the rescue squad to
Bite the tongue and leave behind
Old unwarranted anger upset fear
Cross the bridge to future near
No stratosphere is capable of
Every answer and no returns
The music is better with four ears
Why burden the rest with madnesses
With tears of confusion between
Proud and mortified webs of endless
Tries are the weavers of blankets
That cover and hold our heads
Alone by the path of the solo
Relentlessly in the snow

Manager

She is astringent neurotic and militant
About how she wants things done
Haphazardly calling the shots
Enforcing rules and making her rounds

I passively asked her to back off
When I told her not knowing how I
Perform by way of emails sending me
Off to do better tasks and tripling down
Makes me roll over with sickness
At night who can find peace when
This is a means for finding out

Authority never bodes well with me
You’re not good enough that you’re
Not keeping up with a new standard
That no one has walked you through
And I look up to a bright pink hue
That is glowing above me it’s
Just the sky but formally spoken
I almost wished that it was aliens
For a moment just thought it might be
Convenient living in a world with
No room for error even in the tiniest
Regard just a little breathing room?

Who can be the stickler to a
Practice they know nothing about
Parading around giving orders
To those whom you have not a clue
What their industry entails

To work it out it’s like managing mansions
When you’ve only lived in apartments
Your whole life and again the sky
Creeps in ready to assist me in
Forgetting about what the world around us
Isn’t really making an effort to
Understand and the grass looks red
In this arrangement of orange ambered
Sidewalks dressed in the remaining leaves
The frost is new and so is also tomorrow