poetry – Page 34 – Poétique

Noble Guide

Withering down to nothing
Dreams of your great escape
Perched at rocks by mild cliffs
The hardest part is letting go
Words words and more words
Won’t keep you here on the planet
If your body doesn’t want to

Sweet morning walks
It’s never clear how far you’ll go
It’s less and less but more disoriented
Moments of pause in the
Perfect air remind me how
Winter is coming and it can be cruel
To expect you to survive another
Is really just selfish but you
Surprise me when you
Choose to eat on your own

Winter solstice could be
Your best choice for an exit
Into the equinox gateway
If I compared your abilities
Before up to now your agility
Is one of remarkable nature

I bow down to your will
I am a patron to your strength
Your courage is an emblem
To the future that could also be great
You’ve shown me priority to that

Every five years or so change happens
A shift in the neighborhood
A new structure of telephone poles
A new family a different face

Our time remained the same
As folks came and went out paths
Journeyed equally
New grass different year
Heirloom roots and recollections embedded

The dawn of darkness will be
Crowned with your absence
I will remark of its emptiness
When you are only a vapor
In the ether around me

Even the rain will sound different
When it hits the ground

Sky

Beatific smile left over from the
Plague of emotions haunting his
Daydreams like the kind of stuff
You can’t ever unsee

Made a wonderful habit out of
Remembering how to appreciate
Little things like the color of the sky
Painted houses in unorthodox ways
People wearing things that
Didn’t fit in with the remaining society

Reaching backwards to scratch his head
There was a question mark
Hidden beneath his hair
No wonder the itch and
Begs the question also
“How long had it been there?”

Dark grey sky above was so brave
She didn’t care about the way she
Looked to everyone either
What brazen beauty at its finest

Even if the earth was cold and green
Her shadows could still cast immeasurable markers
Like a spotlight of bleakness
Where you could stand in the absent
Happiness of your brain chord

“I had one or two before.” he murmured
No one could hear him but the cat
Who was pawing at his shoulder
From the back of the couch

I guess we are living with the
Impossible answer until we find out
What it’s like to sit here with someone
Other than the pets who love you
Unconditionally

That was it:
Conditional love had slammed the door
Sloppy lovemaking is easy
But caring afterwards was hard
For most people to sign up for
Especially in the age of polyamory

Or what were the villagers calling it now?
Ethnical non-monogamy or some other
I have sex with everybody term
But the sky couldn’t sit on the couch with him
Although he had never invited her

I suppose in the congregation of his thoughts
There was only one way to find out

Jester

What we give up without knowing
The trade off to save the self
Is the most expensive way to live
How much it costs is what we find out
When we’ve spent every last cent
“There was to give.” he said…
As he lifted his head and began to
Count the stars differently
Remembering the heat that was
Sweltering around him to make
A decision to stay where he was to
Leave what he wanted to feel
Something for someone else’s tears
When all he needed was to cry his own
And have someone hold him for once
But there weren’t any takers really
He was typically more grounded
Than the temperament of the rest
Finding jackets hanging on trees and such
Not always but mostly and met with
Suddenly more recent opportunities
To comfort another friend victimized
By themselves crying in the street from
Drinking too much vodka in a cocktail
Of not enough sleep amended too it was
Almost noon but the moon was still out
All he asked for was space to know
Where his things were where people
Or roommates weren’t consuming them
His things weren’t where he set them down
It was like an insane asylum
Jester or gesture not sure, in their bellies
“A lions den I think you would have called it”
Around here or there but these were all
People he chose to hang out with on purpose
That’s right because it was fun!
Not knife throwing “l went to the
Renaissance Fair fun,” but fun no less!
That was the point but it was
On many fronts even energetically
Speaking… very expensive

ΦΙΛΟΣΟΦΙΑ

I forgot before I knew

I’m not shaped by what
Anyone else thinks about me
Do you agree?
Have you ever noticed how
People don’t listen when
They think they know
What you’re going to say?
Made me want to write a letter

It read: Dear So and So
I am not satisfied with
The way things turned out
But I still love you very much
Perhaps it’s not our destiny
To live together at this point
In our lives

Thank you for everything

I realized later it was a note to self
To feel like he left a message
For himself when he got there later
Individual realities to relate to the whole

In a philosophical dream I heard
A voice say:
We are more susceptible to the answer
When we are not confused by it’s question

We are more flexible in our response
To things when we illuminate the hard wiring

A green and yellow bird flew into the room
Fluent in Greek he said:

Being effected unconsciously
By those emotionally limits
The choice to consciously understand

His heart echoed back
“It is impractical to succeed
When we choose not to!”
Hanging on tightly to trees
Growing perpendicular
To the mountain
By allowing the choice
Not to is to be made
For us only by ourselves

The silence afterward
Could only be a lie
The hesitancy to react
Was his giant pink tongue
Licking the ground with
Wise salivation

Offhand

Jump onto a train to free myself
From my own thoughts
Listening to yours would be
Much more desirable

But still the lemon peels while
Searching for the red dots
Heart palpitations and
Remembering spots walking down
Melrose Boulevard looking for
A new pair of shoes it was then
The only thing that mattered
In that moment and making it
To the movie theater in time
To see the show before it starts
And popcorn? And lemonade

I’m not sure
If only to care about tiny things
Look down then look up
Searching for the red dots again
Turn my head and see the future
Hiding behind the couch
On a towel by the sea
Floating out of the city
Away from the traffic
Car alarms as they scream
I’ve heard birds that a sound prettier

Remember her, remember him
That was then

Let’s go there, it’s so easy
When you’re settled and have a job
To dream of a different life
Take all of that away and
You’re in a cardboard box existence
Searching for the red dots again
Electricity and a safe place
To rest the brilliant self on a bed
All the things we wanted before love
All the decisions we made to save ourselves

Grass is greener under a purple sky
Purple sky is hard to come by
I’m awake he said and at least there’s
Money in the bank

Soup

“We don’t have any qualms with you.”
They said with a grin. What’s in the soup?

Good question after all these years of living
It had become more difficult to see
How things are when reflecting on
Pools of water in the ground like mirrors
How things were when we are children
Or even just a young adult I could recall
Turning pennies over and leaving them
For some one else to find on it’s head
Not tails but that seems awfully
Superstitious now with the way
The wind blows you learn to really
Leave happenstance to unpredictable
Movements in the forces around while
Caring deeply about the most important
Value in the moment if one can, although
There was always some deducing
To be had like,
“How will this affect us in a week or two from now?”
Same as,
“I’m taking my life in… but somehow I don’t feel like I’m here for all of it?”

Follow the system
Rules and regulations
Breathing is the minimum requirement
That seems to be checking out ok
That’s one way to check out that is
Acceptable in the business of
Checking things in or out

Stick around and find out what happens
Appealing and more interesting plan
Also still trying to figure out

What’s in the soup?

Jellyfish

He bent over and heard a phone
Ring in his throat, oh well
Seems natural in the digital age
He said as he pulled his socks on
To prepare for the day ahead
Just keep thinking about how
We’re not dead until we’re dead
So they can keep throwing
Opportunities at you and then
Rip them away it’s just a game
To the big wigs but for the little people
Down here in tiny town it’s everything
We’re all just pretending that we
Have enough to get by feeling like
We’re doing something paying our part
Catching up at the end of the month
Adding to the money pie and still
Can’t help but think it doesn’t matter
Until your chalk full of lead or
Formaldehyde full of dead so we
Just keep moving and living along
Even if it means we encounter
Foot songs of grief dirges of bereft
With nothing left but tears and torn
Blankets our teeth crumbling out
Eventually if you’re not up for maintaining
That’s the end of the route
So the maintainers put their capes on
Pay their nickels at the end of the month
Throw money into programs of
Insurance that never pay off
Of course we don’t want them to
And then look for the crown at the
End of the year! You did it! You survived!
Here here! Applause! Let’s all cheer!
Barely able to stand up
You’ve been sharing your cup
With the world and the gold is
Still empty in your bucket
But you’ll resiliently say
Chuck it up to another
Shrimp on the barbie
We made it thus far; you’re a star!
You can keep going, you know it
I wonder what it’s like
To be a jellyfish

Overture

What was the point of coming back
Explain the angle or the math?
She was always so good at equations
Even when she was high you know
Totally stupefied and how many petals
Covered the path to the top of
The mountains of missions and journeys
She’d climb to achieve her mystery
Hidden agendas and goals no one
Would know about perhaps not even
Herself still yet, it begs the biggest
Question: What for a reentering?

Had Neptune a signal to give her
Directions or would there be another
Symbol from the oceanic system to
Sonar her into a clicking that would
Maybe one day bubble up into a sulfide
That would surprise us all with her
Chemical experience she was a master
At her trade which was defined in
Human Resources and a refined training
In acting for any of this she was given
A premise to promise nothingness

One still begs to cry for why for? What!
If the point was to be helpful then
Why does she reappear just to disappear
Again and again might as well just be
Sitting around pantless and vulnerable
That’s the way she leaves you wondering
If she’ll ever pop her head in again
Pretend to be your forever friend
Accuse you of being the reason why
She failed you blame yourself for not
Noticing how she was trying to help

It should be enough for you and if it’s not
Well then too bad so sad still though
You may linger in your thoughts
Your heart feel ripped and wrought
When she was once a Queen!
It begs the question! What’s the point?
Why come back again just to leave?
And if to come and then deceive
Was it ever really that innocent?
Little explanation for the act of vanishing
An invisible coat for she who is disparaît
Underneath the overpass an exit

A kiss goodbye and laughter for
Freedom to the liberation of hope for
Never to be burdened by her return again
Though your love for her will not be
Forgotten and is held onto by the
Deepest of trampled on moments
Hot breath on the glass an invisible
Message that is encre invisible at its best
If your eyes are closed if you blink
You will miss it as if from this moment on

Nothing ever happened it didn’t exist yet the
Memory which is only a dream that was once
Caught parachuting from the sky
Paralyzed by the frozen altitudes
That could never deliver the comfort
Her words once promised
It was all just for fun in her eyes

Exitway

She didn’t have to
But she did it anyway
Is it resentment or just jealousy
For the loss of the family girl
She promised to be when she was
Behaving like a little devil
Wearing the past like a dress
That didn’t quite work out for the
Dinner party she showed up to
Still the history was quaint
No one knew if her decisions
Were her own but she used to
Make them all by herself
Like sitting up! Not anymore
I think I’ll stop giving people
The option you know?
She quailed, “I’ve got a mind to!”
Many are most likely to say no
Seems the brain is wired that way
Speaking of wires it’s been
A long time since a telephone call
With someone to share
The good stuff like
Heart perversions and
Reasons for taking the train
To New York but not without
A book on how to make
Good decisions and an index
On who to speak to for herself
The imagination is strong
The ties are calling her
Railroad fantasies are long

Out

Easy way out it could be considered
Take the long way home for me
Tonsorial effects kept the pennies rolling
In a somnambulating sort of way
At the time it was the only option to get by

A career did result from it so’s
Not to be waisted but feels hollow
Mostly without you being there
You can’t despise me
Any more than I despise myself
I don’t think you do at all really

Self deprecation is a personal affair
A jungle gym of insecurity you know
Running rungs one by one
Head above water that sort of stuff
But you couldn’t keep yours up
I never thought that would mean
How it sounds in this lifetime
At least even writing it down

As the days go by and we become less young
I think about youth and how much
Everything didn’t matter as much
As it does when we grow older
Shocking isn’t it? That’s sarcasm!

Struck me cold it did
Well worth finding it’s enough to
Dream of sitting in big chairs with someone
After it’s too late
Doing something of great purpose
A significance I wished for with you
Business in the future world
Now I do it for you

I can’t help but wonder if
You got the easy way out?
No maintaining bones and teeth
When you’re not on the earth
I can’t imagine any of us
Doing it deliberately but when you
Feel like the rope is frayed
It’s easier to let go of it
No need to think about
Doctors and dentistry like me
Or those of us that stick around
If you have any proclivity to stay

No drama for hysterics anymore either just
Empty promises and self preservation
Which ends on a sour note if we
Find ourselves safely wrapped in a freedom
Without hyperactively departing from the other
Or arguments with no reasoning
In a precious vault of loneliness
Who could hope for anything
But an exit
Why should we? Why do we then…

…keep going