Poétique

Euphrosyne

I’m not sober
I’m not drunk
Nor am I contrite
If I was would it be one way
Or the other would we be
Together or separately
Running towards the
Identical flame
Aren’t we all
Racing towards
The same thing?
Whatever is the end
The path to how we
Get there is very different
For each of us
Undulant rose petals
Beneath our feet
Screaming at the top
Of imperial imagination
Mountains of earth
We once climbed to
Survive and swimming
Our way from the start
Follow and focus in
Wander far away
Seeking a destination
Always hoping to land
Somewhere to mean
Something or for
Something to be meant
In the egg of our
Promise to ourselves
Or the unknown
Universe we’ve steeped
Into a cupped
Reality

Pamplemousse

The sun looked like a
Grapefruit today
Sliced open cut
Down the middle
Left for everyone to
Devour with their eyes

What we think we want
And what we actually want
Are two very different things
A heart cut open
Halfway down the dent
Curiously askance

A panic attack is
Far more dangerous
Than the fire itself
Do you know how to
Calm yourself down?
Do you know how to
Start a fire with
Absolutely nothing?

How many more times
To wake up wondering
How many days until
A return

Only wanting to
Feel yourself wanting

Too many pieces to count
Too many memories

Ethereal

Getting used to the idea
Of how to relax
Everything falls into place
After you stop trying to rescue it

It’s a really strange feeling when you
Have everything you need but it
Feels like it belongs with something
Else or somewhere else

It’s challenging to give
Equal importance to everything
People don’t sign on for one
Another in a day to day way
As they do if they could
Show up for you in a
Lifelong way or at the end

No pressure
No pressure
If it succeeds we
Witness the seed
Growing from beneath
An earth of possibility

Singing singing
Waiting for the return
Of the messenger bird
To breathe

Wait wait
Not much longer to linger
An answer an offering
The north is calling

Ululate in wonder

Pendant

To push beyond the limits
Of uncompromising feeling
Uncomfortability is reaching
Into grasp deeply at the
Sky and touch the stars
In such a way that you feel
Parts of yourself which are
Hard to face hard to see
Difficult to look down
Or back upon into your
Own heart and eyes
In the shadow of yourself
Standing in the light with
Nothing to keep you
From opening the door
To your own soul

Wedding Bells

She gave him that cover
A protection to hide under
There are countless ways
To open a door

I got on my knees
In front of my step mother
And said it’s not your fault
We were forced to be together
Thank you for trying to
Love me I always wanted
To be loved by another mother
I want my dad to be happy
I want a complete family
I want my mom to be happy
I want a complete family
I didn’t recognize her
She tried to pull me up
But she also understood

There was a family that
Offered to host my wedding
I didn’t say no but
I also didn’t know them
I was amazed by all the family
That showed up which
Wasn’t mine

So kind that I said yes
In our celebration of beautiful foods
I’ve never seen prepared
Dishes that stood like
Beautiful colored towers
I asked her to introduce everyone
So I could be familiar with the
Entire room and she did
In this moment now found
I stood up on the table and
Made an announcement
As well about all the family
That I had that didn’t
Show up for my wedding
And all the ceremonies
I went to I exclaimed
I had an entire family
On one side that didn’t show up
My Aunt Cheryl’s wedding
I began my Aunt Cindy
We all had to wear pastel like
Easter I shouted!
My dad and his second wife Nancy
And even my uncle Dan and
His second wife Judy
As I began to lose my voice
I asked for a microphone
Someone brought me one
He was tall and black
And had an unkempt Afro
All natural like the day he
Was born and
With a mic in my hand
I started to sing with
What little voice I
Had left
It’s strange when you
Actually start to care about
The things that matter
Nothing else that’s
Forcing you to pay
Attention to it does

Heartattacking

Standing in the midst of
What I thought might be
The most epically beautiful
Poise to the existence of
Unlocking the code to love
I found myself stomped on by
An agression and entitlement
Of a passerby an unknown
A human who probably
Needed love the most and
In that moment of standing
In a shower of his spit
And fear and rage I found
Myself exclaiming that I was
Only trying to save his life
And yet his own intentions
Of provoking whatever is the
Opposite of love be it anger
Or something stronger
I felt myself in shock as if
I could not be more
Challenged by the universe
To express love in true
Composure completely
In a way that says I am
Looking out for you
So many people might
Lose their lives if we
Don’t speak up for
How important it is to
Value one another
Drained and steamrolled
As I was after such a
Horrible confrontation
I felt so alone asking if there
Was no one that could understand
How vulnerable I felt to
Opening the door to
Universal love and being
Shouted at in such a way
That could tell me to
Believe it didn’t exist
But there was truly
Nothing in me that was
Willing to accept any
Possibility that the only
Reason for my existence
Would be trampled and
Smothered out by the
Likes of someone who
Absolutely didn’t know me
Or could not see my
Desire to encourage
What we are surely left with
Only emptiness and
A desire to know
What love can actually be
If only I could
Imbue it upon you
With less than words
Vacant touch
Push through those
Dark sunglasses
Like a frequency to say
If it’s worth dying for
It’s worth loving for

Drum

Falling in love with
The outsides of people
Realizing you’re molding
The insides and then
Maybe not forever on earth
Maybe just for a shaping
In a short time
Until they move on from you
Why fall in love with
People that cannot
Fall in love with you?
Romance is precious
Intimacy the thing we
All wonder if truly
Exists we ask ourselves
If it’s real and we see others
Who seem to be
Experiencing what we
Aren’t sure how to
Find digging a hole
In the backyard or
Scratching through the
Concrete on the sidewalk
Just to get down
To the crust of the earth
Maybe the heart of things
Drum the drum
Make the sound that
Beats for some that
Know the calling of
True love for this
Is that time
Woody cracks
Sacred snaps
Pdum pdum
Ratatat bom
Bom bom
My heart calls
From the core
Of the earth
To the ones
Who hear a same
Recalling of sweetness

Tenu

It sounds sad
But it’s not actually
Watering the world
Around us
Pouring anguish
Out of the heart
Eyes won’t stay open
Just to think about
Love in a completely
Different way
I am
Remembering what
I thought it was and
An absence of my
Heartbeat
Somewhere in between
Less skipping
More tripping
But the intensity
Is driving fiercely
Wake up
Wake up
Is anybody home
Knock knock
Knock knock
Phone home
I want you I need you
I love the deep
It’s all a fantasy
Unreal
What I had was
Exactly as
Beautiful as it was
And what we wanted
Was almost there
But also waiting
To hold you
Holding me
Holding us

Smalling

What part of your life
Isn’t intense
Do you correlate
Intensity with passion
Think of the wins
Don’t focus on the losses
He said driving
Down the road
Fighting his whole life
To have people like him
To befriend this
As if something were
Unacceptable?
Not so much approval
But to be loveable
And if someone didn’t
Return that perhaps
To share that affection
Somehow I failed in
Being loveable
Will there be sound
After we die?
Are we holding
Ourselves back?
We love the outside
But the inside cannot
Love us the way
We think it will be
Reimagining

Abeyance

Myrmidon passion
No fear for love really
I could start again
Anytime

Married myself
Ring on both fingers
Had one on each
For two others
Now for myself
What’s left
To burn

Keeping alive
That’s a thing right?
Aren’t we all doing that!

Think of a time in your life
When something important
Was hanging in the balance
Paused, unresolved, waiting…
Am I

Waiting to shape
The eventual outcome
Found in the “in-between”
A state more frustrating
Less like irritation
More like fertile thoughts
For reflection

There’s no overreacting
No overriding just
A beautiful abeyance
That swings in the air
Gives way like a pendulum
A sound or a bit that is
Hinderless to the ears

Feel you feel me
Deservingly quenched