Geino Äotsch

Bon Vent

Good riddance
You needed someone
Not necessarily me
But I was there to
Hold you up in
Your time of need
Sometimes a gift
Can feel like
A nightmare
I kept thinking
I would show you
When you are here
But who was I kidding
No one was coming
But the birds are here
And the philosopher
Teaches me how to feed
Them all insects
Not just seed
As one burying
Itself makes a nest
Into my thumb
I can feel the pain
Even when I am asleep
And the eyes of the birds
Are content in a state of
Hypnotic bliss as they
Float dreamily by
Almost like a cartoon
Unreal yet undeniable
Color doesn’t have to
Prove its identity
It is what we see
He was really
Too put together
For anyone to
Worry about to see
When he needed it

Weighted

Heavy love
It’s coming for you
Not just sex
A lot of romance too
Heavy love
Dark corners
Painted rooms
Rugs on hardwood floors
Spread out on the
Ground with you
Heavy love
It’s starting
On the way to you
Haven’t met you
But I know the truth
That when I get there
We will find the view
Sitting looking at the sea
With you is the beginning
Heavy love on
It’s way to you
So many weeks
Will turn into days
And when we get there
Reflection
To give you space but
Also hold your heart
If you have no one
To love you
It’s difficult to learn
To love yourself

Interstice

He thinks about
Doing the same things
That housed the happy
Necessary something
Black windows with
Cracks of light
Risking getting cut
Coming through
Swollen face
Months of this
To look forward to
Like a baby finding
His voice his terrace
His hands a meaning
To be here in this
Space that feels
Foreign on earth
Lying in the interstice
An ultimate betrayal
Loss of a best friend
And your eyes
Destroyed in
Their exterior appearance
There it is acceptance
Lost language
Hidden meaning
Broken symbolism
Looking at hisself
For the same case
With damaged assumptions
Of being okay there is
Maybe a little
Maybe more
Tomorrow knows less
Than he thinks

Stories

Am I ready to tell
The end of my story
While I’m still so young
Proprioception
It never feels like
It’s my turn
I wanted everything
My grandparents had
That’s what made me
Feel like I made it
How else would I know
Now that I have
Squired all of those
Things I fulfilled
A purpose
All of them feel as
Achieved boxes
Equally ticked
Anything but
Fugacious
I knew everyone
Was going to die
I just never thought
That I would be left
Completely alone
After it happened
They say when you
Come into this
World you are alone
But it’s not true
What you are
Left with in this
World can leave you
Alone
Even with all the
Love shared
The journey wasn’t
Lonely but perhaps
The end of the path is

She taught me
How to be a gentleman
Where did I go wrong?

Borne

A spider grabbed hold
Of my thumb unexpectedly
As I reached into a bag today
Somewhere in the dark
I was gleaming
With what delicate
Reminders we have
To remember that we are
Truly not alone
Living with wanton
Emotions that somehow
Gift us with possibility
In the midst of lost
Friendships and
Anchors and seeds
That we plant in
People around us that
We love and in some
Way they lose sight of us
Our disappointments
Lingering to be loved
Investing all that we have
To grant and somehow
Left with the aching of
Comet like movements that
Don’t include us when
They leave and here
We stay as we wait
To fill the heart with a
Grace that wishes for
More than just in and out
Visits or almost important
Enough forgettable moments
Left without a trace of
What was thought to
Be a connection
Wavering wishing
Wanting for somewhere
That feels better
Than nothing borne
With a considerable
Forbearance

Inking

Deliquescence we are
Melting into our futures
There are so many more
Moments to be had
Does being vulnerable
Sharing our disappointments
And the horrors
Of our lives
Make us any
Less amazing?
Is there more love
To be had and
Can we be
Arrested for that?
How can we know
If our hands are
Even our own hands
Or are these hand’s
The hands of our
Grandfathers’
Grandfathers

Chevaucher

Losing and gaining a self
At the same time
Holding on and letting go
Simultaneously
One heart captures transformation
The other captures attachment
And then release —
Holding on and losing hold
Once a previous
Something and the empty overlap
Is intentional — it’s the void or silence
What whirls between them
A space where identity
Is still undefined
Shifting or
Being reborn

Turning

The pain of this existence
Feels better than anything else
I could do to myself
To take it away
Burn my face off
Menthol peel
See the world through
Newer eyes
Change the path
Kill the rut
Tears are at bay
Careful not to agitate
Maybe more to sing
Play the church organ
In the echo of my mind
Dreaming of a
Spiritual time
And a green cat visits
Long hair and glowing
Bird drowning let me
Rescue you and
I do safely from
Succumbing to the water
Of your cage another
Bird cockatiel joins the
Other parakeet and
A large bird reaches in
With his beak to take the
Heart beneath the wings
Of another and I stop
This saying no as the tissue
Stretches and the giant
Bird releases freeing the heart
Walking into the back room I
Find a green kitten
Who are you holding
And loving you stay
So soft
Please stay

Resonance

We’re all so concerned
About what the future
Looks like that we’re
Not living on the actual day
Like a baby that needs
Tending and loving
He heard himself crying
Relentlessly for two weeks
Hold me love me
Make it better because
Being alive is awkward
And so uncomfortable
Wambling through the motions
You didn’t want to go
Back the the village
Where you came from
He didn’t know how to respond
In Spanish he kept saying it
In French hoping someone
Knew what it meant
Sitting outside underneath
The overpass on a
Few couches where the
Hope of being alive was
Resonating differently
Than where he came from
It ended the way it ended
It began the way it began
This is then

Volcano

I burned my tastebuds
Harrowing in an attempt
To feel myself again
Avoiding numbness
Jumping over the rut
Haunting of a darling
Past that begs to come
Alive again like a volcano
No one can shake that off
An attempt to be alive
Like a neon sign
No need to be the
Most important person
In the room but happy
To experience the
Curiosity of the day
What’s the plot anyway?
Take me to the jungle
Give me a reason to
Show up for tomorrow
Spitting out the sap of a past
As if it were some
Slippery rock that
An unmentionable would
Haphazardly walk right
Through us over us
Lay on top of us in
A heavy susurrus
Barely breathing after
That vampiric escapade
Am I bleeding?
Holes about me anywhere
Maybe everywhere! Bite marks
Either way I am beginning
To feel alive again
Three cigarettes after
Distant memories
And my emotions
Smeared across the
Asphalt as it was
Less important to some
Than ardently sitting
Outside with a friend
Having dinner
In the rain