Poétique

Under the Skin

Like my story is so important
I need to share it with you
Everyday or that it’s
Really even necessary
Hiding behind the eye pain
What happened in the course
Of two days three days more
One week why am I so tired
Living the life I normally do
Just go to bed as if
There is no way to turn the
Clock back face sticking
This way for how long!!?
Any day now I will return
Or at least the hope says so
Unbelievable how long
It is taking to
Return to myself
In my own skin
Where did I go?
How long ago did
It all change?
Not long now before
Also never to return
Eyes cried shut
Tired from life
Adrenaline
What causes the storm
Will the universe calm it?
How long long long
He had to feel worse
Before he could feel better

Vie de Deux

I think about the other side
Of this consciousness
What it means to think
About what is being
Thought about
To tired to write the words
Lawnmower over my head
Blades through the grass
Of my existence
Try to make sense of
Senselessness
Wishing for an easier
Moment to remember
How to collect signs
No color so much color
Symbolically you know?
Tired of the phone
Get up go to bed
Do it all over again
One or the other
Never both
But I always want
Both

Accord

Like a sukkah for my heart
Preternaturally oh how you
Sang to me in sweet tones
Like only you can do and
You apologized and said
You had to make them sound
Sweet and soft like a mouse
I was just looking forward
To spending any kind of time
With you and the evening was
Beholden to our greatest
Escape where I brought
A bag of books and one
Of them yours for you to
Hold and to enjoy you
With yourself how precious
You were excited to
See how I carried you
With me and then we were
Off into the living room where
Before we stepped out the
Door I found you covered
In dark blue glitter like a
Night sky so sparkling
Your hair draped as a
Waterfall down around
You and the new memories
Awaiting us that we were
Creating also ones I couldn’t
Wait to wake up from
Still I pulled you along the
Floor playfully resting on
A featherweight blanket
Laughing and smiling
Unbelievably to tell this
Story with a grin on my chin
There had been several sad
Unexpected days of
Embittered forlorn work
Casually strolling out jaded
From my bedroom with an
Ex lover that I had also
Once married and lived in
Several cities with I
Turned back to see how
We left the bed
I recalled looking at her
Like my life was a
Distant dark echo to
Itself and also the
Circus of climbing
Over one another
On the bed while
Still sleeping
In a way where we could never
Simply find rest and comfort
Not a sheet on it
We even stood up
Completely clothed
And two tiny strips of
Rectangular cloth on the
Mattress with a single
Dot of blood on each
What could that possibly
Mean? As if we were also
Running behind for the day
Even now there was pressure
A grand piano
In the living room
I couldn’t remember the last
Time I woke up with where
Already people were awake in the
House my best friend acting
As secretary to my once
Dark sky glittered friend
She was in charge of
Taking care of assistant
Things which included some
New set of twins I had never met
And her hair was very different
But the shower was calling

I knew that I had been
Requested to cut a gentleman’s
Hair a friend of a friend
Shower first but not
Without rushing because
Inevitably there was
Something waiting for me
To do or finish even
Before I had fully finished
Greeting the day
Building a nest
For tomorrow

Sleepwalk

When people ask us
To take advantage
Of our day off
Do they know
What we do?
In a somnambulistic
Movement
Or even
If it is a day off
Is it not a day off
When it’s
A day off!
I’m a day off
And a penny short
I am instantly upset
What is an effort?
What is insufficient?
When is it enough?
When do we make love?
Does it seem like
We are stagnant
Doing nothing?
Trying also
With a lot of things
Humbled
Left to flourish,
From the seed
Hoping that a
Good thing finds
Its path to the surface
Maybe like some
People visualize
Their children
Growing up
Although my questions
Do not see humans
Like productive achievements
Of course their efforts
Let them become
More than enough
A treasure for everything
Delicious or dying
Key moments that
Escape us on our feet
To get out of it dreaming
Only when we’re
Sleepwalking
Trapped in a life
That begs us
To keep going the
Same way
One foot in front
Of the other
Why not believe in dreams
And fortune tellers

Obsess

Drowning myself in
An obsession with you
Flashing lights
Like a beating heart
Never stops pushing
Harder deeper
From the inside out
Question the basis for
Why it comes
And when it will
Stop

Stop creeping
Into my mind
Keep running away
With my feelings
Did you catch
What wanted
To be caught
My eyelids
Are heavy with
Distractions I
Can’t help but
Pay attention
Just to keep me
From measuring
How much I
Want you

But I want you
To want me too

Je te veux au vouloir
Moi aussi

Gelid

Screaming out the car window
As they pass by me in a
Stationary moment I am
Reminded that the ones
Who have the most fun
Are the ones with the least
Responsibilities woooohoo
Who cares anything goes
Nothing really matters
And with the last pennies
In the bank the most creative
Thoughts surface to become
The best way to express
And pinch out every last drop
And tomorrow is a new day
In the moment that you’re
Thinking you wished you
Had done it that way
You have to be doing it
As it’s happening
You couldn’t know to
Be in the moment
Before it arrives for
You to participate in it
In the way you foresaw
It or dreamed of
Like dry ice
With new eyes

Thawed

Woe is me
You gave her every rite
To take it all away
One for each
Flashing lights
How strong are we
Squares and shadows
Beneath the beauty
Of her eyes
Absent lives
Misjudged love
Chew it all away
Gnawing at my bones
While I’m still alive
Do people always ask
The things they want
To be asked

Euphrosyne

I’m not sober
I’m not drunk
Nor am I contrite
If I was would it be one way
Or the other would we be
Together or separately
Running towards the
Identical flame
Aren’t we all
Racing towards
The same thing?
Whatever is the end
The path to how we
Get there is very different
For each of us
Undulant rose petals
Beneath our feet
Screaming at the top
Of imperial imagination
Mountains of earth
We once climbed to
Survive and swimming
Our way from the start
Follow and focus in
Wander far away
Seeking a destination
Always hoping to land
Somewhere to mean
Something or for
Something to be meant
In the egg of our
Promise to ourselves
Or the unknown
Universe we’ve steeped
Into a cupped
Reality

Pamplemousse

The sun looked like a
Grapefruit today
Sliced open cut
Down the middle
Left for everyone to
Devour with their eyes

What we think we want
And what we actually want
Are two very different things
A heart cut open
Halfway down the dent
Curiously askance

A panic attack is
Far more dangerous
Than the fire itself
Do you know how to
Calm yourself down?
Do you know how to
Start a fire with
Absolutely nothing?

How many more times
To wake up wondering
How many days until
A return

Only wanting to
Feel yourself wanting

Too many pieces to count
Too many memories

Ethereal

Getting used to the idea
Of how to relax
Everything falls into place
After you stop trying to rescue it

It’s a really strange feeling when you
Have everything you need but it
Feels like it belongs with something
Else or somewhere else

It’s challenging to give
Equal importance to everything
People don’t sign on for one
Another in a day to day way
As they do if they could
Show up for you in a
Lifelong way or at the end

No pressure
No pressure
If it succeeds we
Witness the seed
Growing from beneath
An earth of possibility

Singing singing
Waiting for the return
Of the messenger bird
To breathe

Wait wait
Not much longer to linger
An answer an offering
The north is calling

Ululate in wonder