heart – Poétique

Weighted

Heavy love
It’s coming for you
Not just sex
A lot of romance too
Heavy love
Dark corners
Painted rooms
Rugs on hardwood floors
Spread out on the
Ground with you
Heavy love
It’s starting
On the way to you
Haven’t met you
But I know the truth
That when I get there
We will find the view
Sitting looking at the sea
With you is the beginning
Heavy love on
It’s way to you
So many weeks
Will turn into days
And when we get there
Reflection
To give you space but
Also hold your heart
If you have no one
To love you
It’s difficult to learn
To love yourself

Resonance

We’re all so concerned
About what the future
Looks like that we’re
Not living on the actual day
Like a baby that needs
Tending and loving
He heard himself crying
Relentlessly for two weeks
Hold me love me
Make it better because
Being alive is awkward
And so uncomfortable
Wambling through the motions
You didn’t want to go
Back the the village
Where you came from
He didn’t know how to respond
In Spanish he kept saying it
In French hoping someone
Knew what it meant
Sitting outside underneath
The overpass on a
Few couches where the
Hope of being alive was
Resonating differently
Than where he came from
It ended the way it ended
It began the way it began
This is then

Volcano

I burned my tastebuds
Harrowing in an attempt
To feel myself again
Avoiding numbness
Jumping over the rut
Haunting of a darling
Past that begs to come
Alive again like a volcano
No one can shake that off
An attempt to be alive
Like a neon sign
No need to be the
Most important person
In the room but happy
To experience the
Curiosity of the day
What’s the plot anyway?
Take me to the jungle
Give me a reason to
Show up for tomorrow
Spitting out the sap of a past
As if it were some
Slippery rock that
An unmentionable would
Haphazardly walk right
Through us over us
Lay on top of us in
A heavy susurrus
Barely breathing after
That vampiric escapade
Am I bleeding?
Holes about me anywhere
Maybe everywhere! Bite marks
Either way I am beginning
To feel alive again
Three cigarettes after
Distant memories
And my emotions
Smeared across the
Asphalt as it was
Less important to some
Than ardently sitting
Outside with a friend
Having dinner
In the rain

Heartattacking

Standing in the midst of
What I thought might be
The most epically beautiful
Poise to the existence of
Unlocking the code to love
I found myself stomped on by
An agression and entitlement
Of a passerby an unknown
A human who probably
Needed love the most and
In that moment of standing
In a shower of his spit
And fear and rage I found
Myself exclaiming that I was
Only trying to save his life
And yet his own intentions
Of provoking whatever is the
Opposite of love be it anger
Or something stronger
I felt myself in shock as if
I could not be more
Challenged by the universe
To express love in true
Composure completely
In a way that says I am
Looking out for you
So many people might
Lose their lives if we
Don’t speak up for
How important it is to
Value one another
Drained and steamrolled
As I was after such a
Horrible confrontation
I felt so alone asking if there
Was no one that could understand
How vulnerable I felt to
Opening the door to
Universal love and being
Shouted at in such a way
That could tell me to
Believe it didn’t exist
But there was truly
Nothing in me that was
Willing to accept any
Possibility that the only
Reason for my existence
Would be trampled and
Smothered out by the
Likes of someone who
Absolutely didn’t know me
Or could not see my
Desire to encourage
What we are surely left with
Only emptiness and
A desire to know
What love can actually be
If only I could
Imbue it upon you
With less than words
Vacant touch
Push through those
Dark sunglasses
Like a frequency to say
If it’s worth dying for
It’s worth loving for

Smalling

What part of your life
Isn’t intense
Do you correlate
Intensity with passion
Think of the wins
Don’t focus on the losses
He said driving
Down the road
Fighting his whole life
To have people like him
To befriend this
As if something were
Unacceptable?
Not so much approval
But to be loveable
And if someone didn’t
Return that perhaps
To share that affection
Somehow I failed in
Being loveable
Will there be sound
After we die?
Are we holding
Ourselves back?
We love the outside
But the inside cannot
Love us the way
We think it will be
Reimagining

Mollify

Why is my grief
So important
I am only one person
There is no value
For that when it
Comes to the grief
Of a nation
Or the grief of a mother
My energy is strong
Screaming out louder
Needing to be heard
Like a crying cat
Insides twisting but
Why should my voice be
Louder than any other
An omen for tomorrow
Digital blue mollify you
Bitter comfort wrapped
In hues of light that
Leave us all renewed
Less subdued and hoping to
Recall the love in
Your eyes one last time

Outline

Turn to face me in bed
Watching my fingers
Glide over your head
Hands in your hair
Kiss at your brow
Wishing never to get up
Just to lay here
Breathe your breath
Nothing left but
Our heart beats
Hovering above us
In the air
Like two kids in love
Not a care to be told
Only to hold
Not afraid of myself
Or loving you too much
Protecting each other
Romantic distinction
Take this time to
Be here to feel special
To love you and
Undress you
How many years
Has it been
How many years
Have we left?
In between the sheets
After we meet
Turn to face me in bed
Watching my fingers
Glide over you sweetly

Pitié

Self pity flailing or
Just excessively theatrical
Moves that end up
Perhaps dramatic in behavior
Immaterial often involving
Bothered exaggerated displays
Something like
Waterfalls of emotion and a
Fire pit desire built
For attention

Physicality can describe both
Broken styles of acting in a play
Furtif or deliberate attempts to
Manifest a particular emotional
Fleeting response sucked
Out of others through
Deliberate gasps of insincere
Mountain cries

Over-the-top actions
Reverberate

Is there a void in his life if he
Forgot who his character was
Can we be friends with our past
If we commit to our future?

Floating down stream
Bloated with reason
Snapped into two streams

What is the inner dialogue
Saying right now if I can
Read behind the eyes
Between the lines
Cracks in the void
Deafening words
Chaotic lighting
Discerned

At the end of the day
Who are we really?

Pellucid

If all the light in the room
Could pass through me
Would I find you there?

Less questions
More answers

A grand scale
In the difference between
What weighs enough
And what doesn’t weigh
Anything at all

Which knows which me
When is it the other one?

Depending on if you ever want to
You can never not to
So I dug deeper
Asked for the check
My pocket held a piece
Of what was there
From before and what I
Thought for sure could only be
Pellucidly felt compelled and still
Removed to unveil the mask
That held back everything against
A sympathy and meaning to
Manipulate the lines I found
We drew on paper or otherwise
All just so you could love me with
One hand on the wheel

Fanfaronnade

Unrequited feelings that
Couldn’t love me the way
I hoped to feel grasping
At my ears I’m a little dizzy

Cramoisi in a rush to my lips
Giving everything with no
Expectation for return
I would tell them all about
How incredible you are
Overly boasting even

A seance of emotion
Calling all the forces in
Mumbling everything there is
To say about the world you
Left me with to protect
Myself from the things that
Couldn’t possibly move me
And love me the way one can
Read about from the texts of
Ninth century poetry like the
Sequence of Saint Eulalia
Early medieval dreams
Lest one should plot to
Chop off my head and
Throw me into a fire
I would not stitch my mouth
Shut to own all of heaven
For the truth of a fantasy love
I could prove only to my own heart
That you meant to love me
What’s all the fanfare about anyway?

Gathering the twigs underneath
Twilight he had remembered how
Impossible it was to erase the
Memory of wanting to do better
And the impeding thoughts that
Came crashing in when he opened
His eyes; my eyes peering out only
From thin slits each morning
To keep the power of a serene still
Distance that could also be a lie

But shouting to my mind
Was a gorgeous hope for
What could never be and
Perhaps what he saved
Hisself from closing the
Cellar door a manifesto to
Paint in words what only
Few will understand why
He still begat a procession
Of choked up themes
Including tears that wet the
Soil of a tender distress