love – Page 9 – Poétique

Vouloir

I am self-sufficient
And I won’t ask much
If I ask you anything, I beg you
Can you just love me
In the way that I wish?

Without conflict
Without cries or tension
Use your conviction
Every ember and every strength
Without arguing or fighting
Every bone of my being wants your fire
To see me also for who I am
I will love you unconditionally
I will protect you exponentially
If I ask you something
Can you just love me
The way I want to be loved
Simply and completely

I have a lot of
Love to give and I can do it
In a way you do not imagine
I’ll take care of you and everything
Of the labors that surround you
I will raise you when you are on the ground
I will put a crown on your head
If you could just love me
The way I want to be loved

I don’t need a hundred lovers
I don’t need you to clean the furniture
Or for you to make the bed covers
I am domesticated and anchored
I can do all of this for you
I could build you a house
Even carry you through a threshold
Of nature to place you on your throne
Emotional strength without equal
Wipe your tears, pay your bills
Be the rock on which you must stand
Be your ultimate lover
If you could just love me
In the way I want to be loved

No conditional links
No resentment or lies
I could give you the world
If you could love me
The way I need it
Without competition
If you can love me
The way I want
A small request that may seem
Like a gigantic task

Smile when I do something great
Kiss my cheek and caress my face
Tell me that our love is so great
See my love for what it is
Something pure and infinite
My shoulder is your pillow
I will be your destiny in fate
If I ask for anything, I beg
Love me as I want

I would prefer that a stranger hold me
Even for a short time
Who does not know me rather than to be loved
By someone dear who can’t see
How to love me, it is not clear

I was told that I was easy to love
But I have chosen hard in the past
Love those who cannot love
While I’m in the shower
The answer falls on my head
In a clarity of rain
That’s all I ask

Maybe our goals are not the same
Personal limitations are to blame
Communication styles are to shame
Individual experiences are pertained
Emotional abilities are tested and strained
Different languages of love…

If all of this is true, it would be
impossible to ask you

To love me as I want

1000 Feelings

Would it just be a hidden gem
Like the leftovers in the fridge
To be finding that special person
Like your keys that you lost
In the woods after a twelve mile hike

There are parts of my life
That I have built around me
And they are all dying
As I watch the parts dwindle
Away one by one

Does she want to watch my life
Fall apart or is she there to share
Condolences in social media
It feels fake to have someone
Show up for the sadness in your life
But not to celebrate the bliss
Encourage my happiness
Cheerlead the wins

Like a tower that’s crumbling
I find my strength in a moment
Where I can share it deeply
And then there are those who
Will return it in undeniable
Waves of truthful vibrations
Genuine feelings of gratitude
If we are trudging it is through
Lush swamps of love

If my feet are stuck
They are stuck in that

Blackeyed love

My words may be broken a bit
But the heart sets the tone
For a better spoken lip

Sky

Beatific smile left over from the
Plague of emotions haunting his
Daydreams like the kind of stuff
You can’t ever unsee

Made a wonderful habit out of
Remembering how to appreciate
Little things like the color of the sky
Painted houses in unorthodox ways
People wearing things that
Didn’t fit in with the remaining society

Reaching backwards to scratch his head
There was a question mark
Hidden beneath his hair
No wonder the itch and
Begs the question also
“How long had it been there?”

Dark grey sky above was so brave
She didn’t care about the way she
Looked to everyone either
What brazen beauty at its finest

Even if the earth was cold and green
Her shadows could still cast immeasurable markers
Like a spotlight of bleakness
Where you could stand in the absent
Happiness of your brain chord

“I had one or two before.” he murmured
No one could hear him but the cat
Who was pawing at his shoulder
From the back of the couch

I guess we are living with the
Impossible answer until we find out
What it’s like to sit here with someone
Other than the pets who love you
Unconditionally

That was it:
Conditional love had slammed the door
Sloppy lovemaking is easy
But caring afterwards was hard
For most people to sign up for
Especially in the age of polyamory

Or what were the villagers calling it now?
Ethnical non-monogamy or some other
I have sex with everybody term
But the sky couldn’t sit on the couch with him
Although he had never invited her

I suppose in the congregation of his thoughts
There was only one way to find out

Rebound

Veneration in a holy smoke
We elevated ok the first round
When we almost lost you
And here we are again
Hanging in tight for dear life
I remember bike rides and
Blue blankets rocking you
Into a second existence
This is your third or fourth
I almost feel shame for
Encouraging you to do it
Over and over so I’ll let you
Lead the way this time
Maybe it’s just a fever
I had new ground to stand on before
Everything that was holding me back
Was finally done and I had
Ten thousand horses behind me
Thunderous hooves to beg and to
Plead for you down on my knees
Don’t take him yet I careened
To the gods and they listened
Keeping up after three years time with me
Emotional investment is real
Once you check out I can
Love on but only as the light unfolds
Only as the story is retold
Only as your temperature goes down
Let’s sleep on it until we know
Day one again in the morning resounds
Om dreams imagining sleep

Rerun

Who’s inventing anymore?
We just reuse stuff over and over
Because I did what I wanted
Not what they wanted…
“I’m not a dummy!” he said,
Are you in it for love?
We all have different ways uh talkin’
If you ain’t in it for love
What’s the point?
Don’t throw doubt into my head
Seems idiotic but
Everything is cycling over and over
Structure unlike structure
Sequels instead of originals
Hear the inner voice say
Don’t wait! (Many of us)
Won’t get the chance again
Follow the heart jump
Say the uncomfortable thing
Now that liberation is
Part of the picture why boy do ya
Question yourself
Be a man! Damnit!
Grow some and say
What no one else will say…
That’s the way you invent something

Temporary

They lock in and latch on
Pretty fangs smile their way in through
Footsteps at your doorway
Drink up everything you’ve got
And then go away because they
Don’t need you anymore in that way
Scratching at my teeth that’s what’s up
Massaging the skin down to the bone
Checking for a pulse
Is there anyone home?
Knocking on the door of my heart
Is anybody there
Or did they take it all; the furniture too
You know how they do it
Find you so impulsive and beautiful
Full of creativity and certainty
Delicious and ready to drink you gone
And then they are no longer thirsty
Anymore and they disappear
Geranium dreams and nightmares
Seem to pull the trigger sink their teeth
Snap the strings hold on tight
More wanting more recovery from the bite
Where did everyone go??
Too much energy filled their cup
And off again god forbid
That they hang around for a minute
But the lesser of the two spreads wings
And finds grace to say happy
To have the opportunity to meet you
Even if it meant you couldn’t stay
Even if you meant to say..
Even if it’s time to go..
Thanks for stopping by even so

Crushing

When you look to smile
And you want different things
You want a kiss
To be close
But they are reminded of
Something special about this
Nothing romantic
But the smiles meet each other
Perfectly in the same way
For different reasons
No one is shy
Because both are
Smiling sincerely
For their own reasons
But also for different ones
Or not thinking of embracing
The other at all though
A feeling of warmth is mutual
The intentions are unclear
But the love is similarly
Evident even if for different
Circumstances puzzling
Reasons golden retriever vibes
But no clear explanation
If the other is feeling the same way
Or smiling for the same reason
But they are both sweetly coherent
Of the other

What kind of love is this?

Graveyard Drunk

Yellow trees are all around
On my knees fall to the ground
He left and when he exited
I gave it all up to the heavens
Like an angel walking round in dread
Halo cracked upon his head
Burning letters in the yard
Every attempt to make it was hard
Broken bottles in a bag
Carrying the weight of them
Nothing left to drink inside
Can’t sit up; open wide
His friend walks on a rescue path then
Went to a church around the bend
Not though because it was
Ever her chosen religion
Conveniently placed a street light ahead
It’s the thought that counts in the end

And nothing had moved much
Since he was born trying to grow
Up in a town that was torn and
He could feel that it was slipping away
Bottle after bottle everyday
Where he ended up in a graveyard
At the foot of a man he had never met
And his t-shirt read Grandpa
And so it went as he balled his eyes out
In the lawn and the man said a prayer
To hold him on and lingering he did
Again and fell asleep at his granddads
Headstone which he found finally
Not too far from the prophet
Everybody loved it was death and
Living sanctified rolled into stone

The leaves collapsed over his face and
Crunched that time of year it was
Not quite cold yet but things were falling
And the voice of his grandmother
Was steadily calling and he pulled himself
Up from the sanctuary of remembering
And drug his feet further to her
Rosy steps where he managed to
Knock on the door with what was left
And he found her arms and smile
Awaiting as he contemplated
In conversation her eyes like pools
Of blue across the gloom
Sitting in her living room she
Gave him words that he was embarrassed
To seek for to be coherent and
Perfect was better than weak

“Stop drinking!” she said,
“Why’d you do that?”
He couldn’t come up with a good reason
Instead he knew that his time with her
Would soon be up as the earth
Only gives us so many grades
And she kissed his face
And she kissed his lips
And she pet his head
And no longer than did
He weep in the way he would before
But he couldn’t unfreeze himself
In certain moments now
Because everything was
Still processing from before
And his tongue was tied
And his mouth was sore
And his heart was hungry
Begging for more
But he remained
And sustained the memory of
Her doorway and the moment
That she gave him words
Even after she was gone
Her voice could be heard

Time is fleeting in front of our eyes however,
He still remembered how to laugh out loud

Aftertaste

The difference is you want to kiss
That feeling of wanting this
Arousal and desires being met
Maybe something you would grasp
Onto and hold for only a minute
Like a stolen moment but the energy
Is what you feel internally
The decent into a smell
An aroma that fills the well of your soul
Knit to the fabric of the other person
As skin to skin draws you in
Hands holding fingers running through
Pulling slightly at the back of your neck
Into a tension that is right and the heat
Like the wet is exciting
It didn’t get here by any plan
Somehow arriving in the heart
In the fire of your lowest parts
Or the salt of this neck and sweat
And the light is cast down through a window
In the street where you found
A quiet second away from
Everything where no one was watching
And the taste of the inside of things
A swarming of tongues
The sensation is hard to explain
Perhaps never to return again
Except for in some fantasy in
Your mind that will live with you
For all time and the recall
Of this flavor that we somehow
Managed to create together
That we can always count on
To remember even if we
Never touch it again

Imaginare

In love with the imaginary
Making the most love to anybody
I don’t even know…
I could swelter you with
Hot momentary pulsating
Delicious majestic lust
No harbor for hate
To dock our boats in

Standing in the traffic of a busy sidewalk
I plaster myself against the concrete wall
Behind me stands a bigger building
For stowing people away when they need
Rest and rejuvenation in their condos
Hardly affordable these days
What a lifestyle planted next to the water
People walking around barefoot
With sand on the bottoms of their feet
You could journey from here and achieve
That shoreline destination with ease

All the accents traveling around his head
Korean and Chinese spoken in the same
Breath from breakfast to sock shops
Fiery red hair passes by like an emblem
Something should be signaling his legs
To follow that embered light but he doesn’t know
Them at all and it isn’t his neighbor
But to make acquaintances would be nice

The fallen limbs from two days of rain
Are reminiscent of the unused well of
Love that’s been swallowed whole
Useless arms unclaimed and flailessly
Hanging around wanting to be useful
Like the branch that smacked down against
Raw concrete was to its tree prior

So many new faces and no one to
Be concerned about meeting who he
Hasn’t yet nor seen; no facial recognition
The ground is sloped and the air
Is calm here stands a quiet moment in a big
City this is a treasure like the fantasy
Hunt that keeps dragging his eyes
Into the cars from across the street
Enamourer to the unknown aphrodisia