Pendant

To push beyond the limits
Of uncompromising feeling
Uncomfortability is reaching
Into grasp deeply at the
Sky and touch the stars
In such a way that you feel
Parts of yourself which are
Hard to face hard to see
Difficult to look down
Or back upon into your
Own heart and eyes
In the shadow of yourself
Standing in the light with
Nothing to keep you
From opening the door
To your own soul

© GÄ

Wedding Bells

She gave him that cover
A protection to hide under
There are countless ways
To open a door

I got on my knees
In front of my step mother
And said it’s not your fault
We were forced to be together
Thank you for trying to
Love me I always wanted
To be loved by another mother
I want my dad to be happy
I want a complete family
I want my mom to be happy
I want a complete family
I didn’t recognize her
She tried to pull me up
But she also understood

There was a family that
Offered to host my wedding
I didn’t say no but
I also didn’t know them
I was amazed by all the family
That showed up which
Wasn’t mine

So kind that I said yes
In our celebration of beautiful foods
I’ve never seen prepared
Dishes that stood like
Beautiful colored towers
I asked her to introduce everyone
So I could be familiar with the
Entire room and she did
In this moment now found
I stood up on the table and
Made an announcement
As well about all the family
That I had that didn’t
Show up for my wedding
And all the ceremonies
I went to I exclaimed
I had an entire family
On one side that didn’t show up
My Aunt Cheryl’s wedding
I began my Aunt Cindy
We all had to wear pastel like
Easter I shouted!
My dad and his second wife Nancy
And even my uncle Dan and
His second wife Judy
As I began to lose my voice
I asked for a microphone
Someone brought me one
He was tall and black
And had an unkempt Afro
All natural like the day he
Was born and
With a mic in my hand
I started to sing with
What little voice I
Had left
It’s strange when you
Actually start to care about
The things that matter
Nothing else that’s
Forcing you to pay
Attention to it does

© GÄ

Heartattacking

Standing in the midst of
What I thought might be
The most epically beautiful
Poise to the existence of
Unlocking the code to love
I found myself stomped on by
An agression and entitlement
Of a passerby an unknown
A human who probably
Needed love the most and
In that moment of standing
In a shower of his spit
And fear and rage I found
Myself exclaiming that I was
Only trying to save his life
And yet his own intentions
Of provoking whatever is the
Opposite of love be it anger
Or something stronger
I felt myself in shock as if
I could not be more
Challenged by the universe
To express love in true
Composure completely
In a way that says I am
Looking out for you
So many people might
Lose their lives if we
Don’t speak up for
How important it is to
Value one another
Drained and steamrolled
As I was after such a
Horrible confrontation
I felt so alone asking if there
Was no one that could understand
How vulnerable I felt to
Opening the door to
Universal love and being
Shouted at in such a way
That could tell me to
Believe it didn’t exist
But there was truly
Nothing in me that was
Willing to accept any
Possibility that the only
Reason for my existence
Would be trampled and
Smothered out by the
Likes of someone who
Absolutely didn’t know me
Or could not see my
Desire to encourage
What we are surely left with
Only emptiness and
A desire to know
What love can actually be
If only I could
Imbue it upon you
With less than words
Vacant touch
Push through those
Dark sunglasses
Like a frequency to say
If it’s worth dying for
It’s worth loving for

© GÄ

Drum

Falling in love with
The outsides of people
Realizing you’re molding
The insides and then
Maybe not forever on earth
Maybe just for a shaping
In a short time
Until they move on from you
Why fall in love with
People that cannot
Fall in love with you?
Romance is precious
Intimacy the thing we
All wonder if truly
Exists we ask ourselves
If it’s real and we see others
Who seem to be
Experiencing what we
Aren’t sure how to
Find digging a hole
In the backyard or
Scratching through the
Concrete on the sidewalk
Just to get down
To the crust of the earth
Maybe the heart of things
Drum the drum
Make the sound that
Beats for some that
Know the calling of
True love for this
Is that time
Woody cracks
Sacred snaps
Pdum pdum
Ratatat bom
Bom bom
My heart calls
From the core
Of the earth
To the ones
Who hear a same
Recalling of sweetness

© GÄ

Abeyance

Myrmidon passion
No fear for love really
I could start again
Anytime

Married myself
Ring on both fingers
Had one on each
For two others
Now for myself
What’s left
To burn

Keeping alive
That’s a thing right?
Aren’t we all doing that!

Think of a time in your life
When something important
Was hanging in the balance
Paused, unresolved, waiting…
Am I

Waiting to shape
The eventual outcome
Found in the “in-between”
A state more frustrating
Less like irritation
More like fertile thoughts
For reflection

There’s no overreacting
No overriding just
A beautiful abeyance
That swings in the air
Gives way like a pendulum
A sound or a bit that is
Hinderless to the ears

Feel you feel me
Deservingly quenched

© GÄ

Begending

Our realities are made up
By the worlds we surround
Ourselves with and I find myself
Settling as a house might
Crackling and burrowing
Into the ground

Maybe I’m just tired
Of keeping up or possibly
Creation knowing full well
There could be more
In some other place
In some other way
This is not it
This is not all
That there is

Halfway mark
Feels like a dead end
Maybe all that can be
Accomplished is already
I’m not sure what will be
Longer or shorter
Revel in the new
Forget about the future
Fishbowl

When we scratch off
The top layers and
Keep finding our way down
Do we have a place to
Go or end up
Keep going
Start over
Keep going
Maybe nothing

Sweet voices
Of children
Just beginning

Today felt like
An ending
So early

© GÄ

Flashing

She wanted me to braid her hair
I sat up in bed and began to braid
A single blonde braid down the
Back of her head and she needed
To find her friend so she left
I followed her out to wait
And found a very attractive man
Laying on a couch on the porch
Outside, asking if I could share
His space with him laughing he
Obliged I couldn’t remember the
Last time I laid on a couch
With a stranger and somehow
I felt like I had known parts of him
His story flashing a little before my
Eyes of his home and one of
His lovers kissing him outside
On the front lawn though I had
Never visited I remembered being
When she returned she brought
Me three nicely folded pairs
Of jeans and a pile of one dollar
Bills some torn and some folded
As I tried to count the money
I realized I wasn’t finished with
Her hair she had unbraided it
And she was happy and glowing
She said I needn’t finish, that we
Had completed it and she liked
It as I helped count through the
Money to determine a charge
I was distracted by some peacock
Feathers on the wall that I began
To braid underneath as one would
French not Dutch and you could
See the glimmer of the multifaceted
Colors clamoring back into
My eyes reflecting a myriad of
So many experiences as I
Finished the owner of the café
Walked by, and I saw my friend
Timmie whom it had been so…

…many many years I embraced her and asked her how she was.

She cried a bit and said
You don’t remember me you
Have forgotten me all these years
And I reminded her that it wasn’t
True that I had sent cards and letters
Thinking of her often her tears
Began to dry and her face changed
A bit and we both realized that
We didn’t know one another at all
And in fact we were new friends
I looked a way as her face had shifted again
As I turned back her skin had gotten
Much darker and she looked very
Different in fact her entire person had
Changed to he who was French perhaps
Caribbean or African I wasn’t sure
But I was excited to make their
Acquaintance he said in an accent
“Maybe your friend doesn’t speak
French haha!” He looked at me with
Small eyes pushed close together
And two tiny gold teeth in front
With crosses on them standing
Out a bit almost buck-like
I couldn’t contain my excitement
I said, “Tu parle le français?!!”,
And put my hand out to him
Enchanté ! He observed me without
Speaking and turned half of his
Face away and I exclaimed, “D’accord!”
Only if to say, you don’t want to know
Me?? Well fine then… twisting away
I ended up back at the table counting
The ones to give back to the girl
Who had taken out her single braid
Happily enjoying her wavy hair
Which was now also multicolored
As she lay on her stomach with her chin
Lightly placed over folded hands patiently
Waiting to receive whatever amount
I had come up with the number
Forty-five kept ringing back to me
As it were I was satisfied with any
Number or no number of bills
Overall the experience was
Plenty enough to afford the beginning

© GÄ

Outline

Turn to face me in bed
Watching my fingers
Glide over your head
Hands in your hair
Kiss at your brow
Wishing never to get up
Just to lay here
Breathe your breath
Nothing left but
Our heart beats
Hovering above us
In the air
Like two kids in love
Not a care to be told
Only to hold
Not afraid of myself
Or loving you too much
Protecting each other
Romantic distinction
Take this time to
Be here to feel special
To love you and
Undress you
How many years
Has it been
How many years
Have we left?
In between the sheets
After we meet
Turn to face me in bed
Watching my fingers
Glide over you sweetly

© GÄ

Bridges

I’m not one to burn bridges
I’m more into building them
People can die when the
Scaffolding collapses
Lose our friends
Relationships end
Being with someone
Can also be lonely
Just as much as being
Alone can also fulfill you
Main cables stretched
Out into the sky like
Horizontal arms
Wishing to fly
Or at the very least
Feel something
Spun and strung
Between heart towers
Stacking rocks
Twisting the sky
Steel anchorages
Water sloshing against
Our bedrocks
It’s never to late
To try

© GÄ

Gauge

Settling into myself
Such a strange sensation
To be genuinely happy
Not over concerned
Enjoy the moment
Oh of what we’ve created
Lived up to and
What we’ve done!
When do we realize
And step back
Take a deep breath
And enjoy everything
That we are?
Will life surpass us
Before it’s too late?
Fall out of the tree
Of expectations everyone
Has been growing
For you with
Conference calls and
Calendars just a
Basic phone call
Where our personalities
Intertwined and there
Is no evidence that
It ever took place
No record kept
Except for
You and me
No second guessing

© GÄ