Geino Äotsch

Hermetic Dreams

A buffalo pushed the
Mushroom out of the way
Leaving only a question
Where would the others go
And how could we bring it back?

Hanging on by a thread
To our past like a history
Stood to remind us that we
Aren’t bitter like the angry giant

Baby blue starlings
Ariel view of a map
Complex atlas like chess
Moving the pieces
Precious animals there to
Guide and make room for

I don’t want to be vulnerable
With my emotions in front of
The world even though
Television normalizes this

A friend who sings visits
She enters my dreams
She has already red hair
She asks me to make it redder
She tells her friends about
My remarkabilities

It doesn’t matter if
It’s not a word

Make it up as we go along
Hermetic dreaming

Firgun

Time for light, time for laughter
New beginnings in the hereafter
Or pleasantries now

Celebrating you
Forgetting about me

Dating is a nightmare
Everyone accepts this as normal
Somehow I don’t care

I’d rather find one
Enjoy each other and
Go from there

All the hustle of
Trying all the flavors
Maybe speed dating
But not weeks on end
That end up nowhere

I don’t care

Sitting on a hill
Trip to the North Sea
Journey in a wagon
Feeling groovy

Banter of love
No back and forth trash
Just a nice time that
Continues to last

Celebrating you
Forgetting about me

Time for light, time for laughter
New beginnings in the hereafter
Or pleasantries now

What are you after?

Hiareth

Strapped into my history
Sewn into my flesh
Grind my bones
In the dust of our friendship

I’m creating all of these
Beautiful romantic things
For no one but myself
That was never the plan

Haunted by the memories
If the perfect parts of you
We’re actually real
Living inside my fantasies
Some kind of self torture

What an acrid perfume
Something of a coarse nature
Blinding me with backhanded love
Like some dark magic

This deep longing or homesickness
Beyond a place or time that
No longer exists—or perhaps never did

Turning on the trafficator
Left turn, right turn
Windshield wipers for clarity
Driving my life highway
Rather than plotting my death
Feeling ready to die
Contemplating suicide
I’m looking for another way
To live this life, a new way
To be alive

Death of a past
Birth of a future

Barreling

Stop the dog from attacking
Save the innocent ones
Don’t hesitate for
Hesitation could
Mean death

Is there something
To be afraid of knowing?
Abandon the hermit
Behind the time to be
Outgoing to take me
As I am

What happens next?

There is no observation
Negative or positive
That can be imagined
Without validation
From the voice
Of the seer

Stop the dog from attacking
Save the innocent ones
Unpredictable energy
Feelings of off centered
Realities

No feeling like it’s not
Uncertain certainty
A blanket of truth

Our youth
Maroon and rose blush
Eternity is reflected
In the palm of
Our souls

Barreling through
Stop the dog from attacking
Save the innocent ones

Galimatias

Maybe shut my mouth
Zip the lips seal the tomb
Egyptian dust

Who can I trust
Like dominoes recovered
From the cracks in the floor
Falling down from a game
No longer being played
By Toutankhamon

Confused letters that
Create conflict sharing
Everything and nothing
Like gibberish
Creeping into the
Background

Un ciel partagé
At what point are we in
So much pain that we
Push the world away?
And then punition
To punish the
Boundaries we’ve laid

Wake up wake up

It can’t be both
One or the other
Blah blah blah

You’ve chosen to
Follow your heart
Trust the gut

Limn

Looking into the galaxy
Of my core a telescope
Observing the delicate
Lines that connect the
Stars of my mind
Delineated

Trace the outline of
My heart on the skin of
My chest

Lay in bed for hours
Drawing painted lines that
Describe the stories the
Future could represent
For our satisfaction

I give myself over
For you to capture my sky
Look into your eyes
Simplicity of singular
A hurricane of
Someone coming

My lips are
Not just for anyone
They’re for you

Close one eye
Look at the lines in the
Darkened sky between
Transcribing the air
The burning dots
In the night

Dark matter
Electric light

Gap

Blundering away from
Whatever was left
His skin was withering
Like a wilted corpse
Of a dying tree

On his knees
He pleas

Are these equations
Untenable?
Is there no escape
From defending
Our castles?

Who are we protecting
Ourselves from and
How many will come?

Like ants parading
Into our homes or
Cats that start to
Congregate by the dozens

Should we follow some
Compulsion to
Love them all or
Draw the bridge

Close the gate
Nip it

Stop the chaos
Hold the water
Seal the dam

For what we have
No control over in
Every aspect of our lives
We are also destined
To make choices
Weak or strong

Chaos conforming

To put the foot down
Protecting our loved ones
This is responsibility but,

What are we protecting
Ourselves from?

Fiasco

Make a carbon copy of me
Print it out and stick the
Mirror image on the corner
Of a street see if anyone
Should notice?

Nascent to the neighborhood
Ephemeral stimulus take me with you
I’m protecting myself but
I don’t know what from
Watch the wind blow me
Away

Ersatz imposter feeling feckless
Is it a sickness or a blessing?
A sore heart and a strong boundary
No strings to pull unattached
Dissemble me

Eidolon to the beast
Left corner if the mind is
Ready to feast on the leftovers
Of a lifetime spent creating
A banquet for true emotions
Illogical

Fire the sadness fiesta
Conjure the fun
It’s a fiasco

Logging

Interminable existence
Chariot of falls

We don’t need a ring
We don’t need marriage
All the friendship that we have
Covers it volubly

I’m going back to bed
She said
That’s how you knew
Tomorrow could also
Be a better day
Sleep it off
Try again in an hour
Try again in three hours
Try again tomorrow

I’m going to paint it
A little more darkly than it is
Because that’s how it feels

It’s not always so dark
But the clock keeps ticking

Why both sides can’t be happy
Sugar and water calming the
Sea of the heart

Leave a dime on the floor
Say goodbye before you go
Pick it up to catch the call
If you can reach it
Just before the world
Takes off

Insouciance

He asked me to open up,
So I unfolded like a rose —
A vibrant bloom in the corner of a loud café
Stories spilled like honey,
Slow and golden,
Meant to be shared
Feeling safe in his imaginary
Capable hands
I thought he could hold this

I wove him into every thread —
My laughter at the piano,
The way I pictured his lips
Pulling me closer on the couch
I was building a scene,
And he was in every frame

He said,
You only care about yourself.
Don’t you want to know anything…

…about me?
I said — Yes.
So much. So deeply.
Weren’t you listening?

Remember the list
Of questions I brought to you
On the first date —
Notes folded on the table
Like a small offering
Questions I tried to ask you
But he said that wasn’t real enough
He wanted organic spontaneity
Almost mourning being forgotten
In the light of his own shadow

I apologized.
Of course I did.
But he admitted —
He was baiting me
Setting traps of silence
Just to see if I’d fall in
Pass his test

He didn’t want to be known
He wanted to be missed.
Not understood —
Only pitied

And still,
I carry the one question
I meant to ask
Still wondering
What was the aria that played
In his proud blackened heart
While I was trying so hard
To sing what was only
A duet of darkness
Drowning in his insouciance