poetry – Page 33 – Poétique

Maybe

It’s weirdly bright outside
I imagine that the world is hungover
I want to hear all the stories
What makes the universe get up
In the morning

I often wish my work was
Something of the greats
Another mindstate to be had
The writing good or bad
A taste of the ancients

I forgot myself early today
Cried with my head hanging over
I knew that it meant it would
Never be the same

Reflecting on what could be good
Comes from the terrible bad
So I don’t throw the unclear away
I read over it sometimes
Like a worthless piece of art
My critical eyes abusively

Unsure of what is good
Reading through it the heart laughs
“You thought this was worth keeping!”
It’s true. Some if it is not bad

It will read differently
When we’re eighty years young

A little displaced like an
Upside down lawnmower
Making my way
Cutting through the air
Something with a purpose
But nothing to receive it

Where’s the landline
My grounding wire

Teacher

She’ll just be tired when I call
Stop talking about death
He said mysteriously
Like a hornbill

I wanted to connect with her
No hope for the future
No possibility of conspiracy
Just a genuine chat
Comments, advice and greetings
It’s almost empty
She’s always coherent

What do you notice when someone shuts down
But the delivery shows the way forward
I’m on the verge of preponderance
No feedback left in the tank
I used most of it before I was born

I have so much I want to share
Nothing will be accepted
She has very few ears left
Too much rest and how
Can we compete with odds and ends

For the record, I wanted to be closer
Following the smoke when you wake up
Please read this knowing I would
Have been even a best friend
Perhaps better than a son
So many roles
I also got parent

It’s too late to be a mother
She had too many lives
Before he arrived

If you were a teacher
You were a preparator of so many things

You taught me to be strong
Isolation is not perfect
But somehow
Being alone is also possible
And peaceful

Two. It’s what they want
To make love with tonight
They see me as the most loving
Morning in an outgoing horizon
And an old friend has her hair
In blonde like honey styled up as curls
Pin combs and innumerable wheels
That resemble her tendrils
On boards and shoes people skating
Rolling around
Under the bridge
I am singing Guardian Angel
I can hit every note
Word for word as unrecognizable people
Are also chiming in
All circling in their own space

I am asking
How can someone that tried
So hard fail so badly
How can he be so good at it
And feel so bad afterwards
Dumb good
Smart bad

We all fold ours differently
Perhaps the end will feel better
Than starting over again of course
Clarity versus mystery
Hypnosis holds the key
If the puzzle has no facts
How can the picture possibly be real
If he lost his discovery
In your eyes
At the edge of your coat
The silver cannot be won
The kingdom of his heart
Is broken

Reeds are blowing at every passage
And the meaning is unable to reveal
An actual identity without a contract
Like a certificate of birth
And still the womb knows
What it held
It needs no paperwork to prove
A love for beholding it’s
Internal miracle

Once Upon a Time

There was a symbol of your love
Who woke me up in the trees
Just a few hours after you left me
I heard the birds
Outside, they called so many

I went to see what was going on
Sound and agitation
Unbelievably birds and more birds I lost count
In the bamboo and garden
Where we have spent so much time
With others

I feel it sincerely as a lighthouse
Or a notice to be confirmed
A phone call from you
By natures will
You know I miss you and
You’re here even if
You can’t be physically

I have stayed long in counting
One by one, I looked around to see
If something would attract traffic
Were there any seeds or bread or
Food scattered but nothing
They had all come of their own accord
With nothing to magnetize them

Except you

Incredibly, there must be
Sixty to a hundred, all different
Kinds of birds, blue jays and sparrows
Other voices I have not heard
I can’t distinguish exactly each
All together in a choir, I feel you

We have been living here
Almost fourteen years
On this property and we built
This garden and this space together
It was a reason to make it nice
Because of you and the purpose
That you gave me all the meaning
To wake up and go to work
At the grocery store, I experience
It here now; how did they know to come
On Christmas Day
A garden full of wild birds

As I walked away for an hour or two
Now later, they’re still there
The inexplicable, I turn off the TV
And I listen to their collective singing
To know that it’s you and that it’s true
You’re always with me while they
Continue to carry each voice
No matter the type, they all sing together

Inlay my body on the floor
Listen to the sound near the back door
The cold air flows over me in a bath of
Music that I will always remember
A moment as a visit and a miracle
I became aware
Forcing my body to be present
When I want to detach

We may not be available for our
Supernatural miraculous moments
Superstitious or others
If we do not listen and descale
I remember if the heart is closed
We are not open

It’s only one time
We only get one chance

Vouloir

I am self-sufficient
And I won’t ask much
If I ask you anything, I beg you
Can you just love me
In the way that I wish?

Without conflict
Without cries or tension
Use your conviction
Every ember and every strength
Without arguing or fighting
Every bone of my being wants your fire
To see me also for who I am
I will love you unconditionally
I will protect you exponentially
If I ask you something
Can you just love me
The way I want to be loved
Simply and completely

I have a lot of
Love to give and I can do it
In a way you do not imagine
I’ll take care of you and everything
Of the labors that surround you
I will raise you when you are on the ground
I will put a crown on your head
If you could just love me
The way I want to be loved

I don’t need a hundred lovers
I don’t need you to clean the furniture
Or for you to make the bed covers
I am domesticated and anchored
I can do all of this for you
I could build you a house
Even carry you through a threshold
Of nature to place you on your throne
Emotional strength without equal
Wipe your tears, pay your bills
Be the rock on which you must stand
Be your ultimate lover
If you could just love me
In the way I want to be loved

No conditional links
No resentment or lies
I could give you the world
If you could love me
The way I need it
Without competition
If you can love me
The way I want
A small request that may seem
Like a gigantic task

Smile when I do something great
Kiss my cheek and caress my face
Tell me that our love is so great
See my love for what it is
Something pure and infinite
My shoulder is your pillow
I will be your destiny in fate
If I ask for anything, I beg
Love me as I want

I would prefer that a stranger hold me
Even for a short time
Who does not know me rather than to be loved
By someone dear who can’t see
How to love me, it is not clear

I was told that I was easy to love
But I have chosen hard in the past
Love those who cannot love
While I’m in the shower
The answer falls on my head
In a clarity of rain
That’s all I ask

Maybe our goals are not the same
Personal limitations are to blame
Communication styles are to shame
Individual experiences are pertained
Emotional abilities are tested and strained
Different languages of love…

If all of this is true, it would be
impossible to ask you

To love me as I want

A Better Place

Wassailing through the morning
Silently to myself in a rush of text
Or memories of songs stuck in the head

Red lights glimmering on rocks
I’m barely aware of my legs
I’ve had thirty five years without you
But the last fifteen with you here
I’m unclear what the rest of it will be like

I made an oath to myself
That I should walk our regular path without you
And I’m keeping it today
To feel myself and find my strength
In general, it does not compute as though
Many can relate to this repetition
Going at your pace, standing at corners
Feeling the absence of you there slowly
I wonder if you feel it on the other side
Our spiritual bind is strong
But our physical bond has been broken

I walk where you no longer walk
Where you were once disoriented
Now, so am I without you

I have so many seasons to go
In this way

Breathing the loss of your presence
It’s not much different than the pain
Others feel for themselves I imagine
But when you accept the same rhythm
For so long, so comfortable so soft

So absent

It is almost its own kind of torture
To have loved and then to have lost

1000 Feelings

Would it just be a hidden gem
Like the leftovers in the fridge
To be finding that special person
Like your keys that you lost
In the woods after a twelve mile hike

There are parts of my life
That I have built around me
And they are all dying
As I watch the parts dwindle
Away one by one

Does she want to watch my life
Fall apart or is she there to share
Condolences in social media
It feels fake to have someone
Show up for the sadness in your life
But not to celebrate the bliss
Encourage my happiness
Cheerlead the wins

Like a tower that’s crumbling
I find my strength in a moment
Where I can share it deeply
And then there are those who
Will return it in undeniable
Waves of truthful vibrations
Genuine feelings of gratitude
If we are trudging it is through
Lush swamps of love

If my feet are stuck
They are stuck in that

Blackeyed love

My words may be broken a bit
But the heart sets the tone
For a better spoken lip

Bursting

I never knew this kind of rage
Could live inside of you
To let something go that you
Love so much

I never knew this kind of anger
Boiling beneath you because I have
Never loved anything
Exactly in that way

The magnetism stretching your
Insides like a rubber band with
An electricity running through
Your gut all the way up to your
Tongue sizzling at the very tip
And all over the buds

Crackling inside

There’s only one time that
I feel like this

It’s when I’m
Losing the love of my life
Connecting the cosmos
Bending into the other side

Death

We are both bubbling
Not wanting to let go
But we know we have to move
Teeth clenched around the tongue

You’re such a fixture in my life

I look around to find the words
Of loved ones willing to be there
For me when you’re gone
This is the power of true friendship
This is the paramount message
Of our love

The ones that are there for us
When the love is gone

Biting Down

I asked to be polite
But I was told to be respectful
What feels like a good thing
Interprets as a bad one inside
Physically if the person is
Not ready to receive
But we ask only to be nice
And they say wait
Sit over there in a chair
By the cold door
Because I’m afraid
You are too early! I comply
Reporting that the restaurant is
Nearly empty and my party
Will be here in twenty three
Minutes yet because I was
Polite you have requested for me
To sit and watch and listen
To the sounds of the space
Have a drink I do not want
Decorated festively indoors with
Candlelight that looks warm
Dried plants and the people
Begin to swarm into the space
And the music is inaudible
Unlike the voices as I watch the
System of your hosting
Which does not include me
In all the murmuring
Pick out tid bits of conversation
What is everyone talking about
“How do they know?”
Sixteen hundred hours doors open
I am still working on
Getting my guests here
So to sit still and relax is to
Be one with the chair
It feels much less like
Welcoming and more like the
Other way around
Meaning you are
Encouraged to sit
Down when the rest of
Your people are here
It’s an interesting dilemma
To want to be nice
When your body is
Annoyed by the system
Looking in the lost and found
To find more patience
I wonder how the food will taste

Parement

Her hair looked sort of brown
Or was it purple? I’m not sure
He really wanted to go to that party
But the constable of life
Had out his billy club
It was the no no no of
Only so much time in the day
There was an art to showing up
For mad activities

Though sense was the last thing
To be found on the menu
There was also a strike of lightning
In her eyes that left an impression
Very impossible to describe
He kept going back for more
Looking for himself somewhere
In their reflections

Pools of past experiences
That were untelling in volume
Weight and depth appeared
Walkable in some way but then
Encouraged deeper examination
Before stepping in like an
Analytical rain storm or
Some other indeterminable
Weather forecast

The pattern for failure was clear
If he went down into the galley
There would be another knife
To pull out of his back
This time harder to reach
And the temptation was
Sensational! Like honey
Sweet and irresistible

Each minute begat each hour
However the clock ticked as though
There was no necessary explanation
In the video of his mind if he should
Reconsider returning to his homeland
Or calling home the land he was in
It wasn’t Singapore and the ground
Was relatively firm so the
Distance felt quite manageable

There was a blue bowl with
Pink berries adjacent to a teal spoon
Sitting on the table next to a
Half empty cup of tea
Was this someone else who
Left it behind or could it be
Life was moving so fast
That he had simply forgotten
That he had made it?

That’s how it was living in a world
Of possibilities and dreams

Category: poetry