Category: poetry

Scraping

Cutting away at what’s left
The ridiculous happy before
The aftermath of your absolute
Absence

Pulled out the measuring cup
To see how much love was left
I couldn’t fill it up like I did before
I couldn’t find the same amount
That poured out once before
Memories

I searched to see if there was
Even a hello a small opener
You know the way a friend says
I miss you and I’m sorry that
I hurt you too buddy
You know

It felt better when I realized that
You weren’t there at all that I
Didn’t have to say goodbye
I just saw you floating in the sea
A distant anchor to my ship
You know the one you sailed
With me

Intimacy of the mind can be more
Difficult and transparent than
Sex

Because the exfoliating feels so good
I coast along here a more distilled
Version of myself remembering
Your beauty and knowing
I can say nothing

You understand
Even if the chains that hold
My ship in place are covered
In cobwebs the ghost that floats
Above the memory of us
Screams in silence

Our friendship
Is just a vacant boat
That we can reconsider
When the sun returns to melt
Your icy heart

© GÄ

Dinner With a Ghost

When all you want
Is to be held
When all you want
Is for someone to feel your pain
I can do that
I know what it’s like
To want to be held
I know what it’s like
To want someone to understand that pain
To say I’m sorry
In the deepest sorted quarry of
Ripped off emotion
An ocean
Of true love
A selfless offering yet
With my own need to be loved

Jump in head first
Feet first it doesn’t matter
To absorb and be absorbed
I somehow thought I was different
Now I know that I’m the same

Glossing over me
Taking off the show
To hold a frame of mind
In place while
So many fantasies are falling apart
So many pieces from
A broken heart

Can’t fix the hurt
Can’t fix the hurt
It wouldn’t work

Chasing the hope of
Having you close
Is just like having
Dinner with a ghost

© GÄ

Broken Limb

Do not make me
Defend myself in my own house
Hanging from a thorn
Upside down
Wishing I was shooting
Like the stars that you
Stole from my eyes
Jumping over the
Red path of rosy blood
Spiraling down into a verbal bath
To taste your lack of concern
This just gave my heart
The choice to beat
How can I be better he asked
That’s nobody’s fault
Said the raccoon
She just has an awful personality
Now I know I said to myself
How everyone else you’ve deserted feels
Like a broken limb

© GÄ

Still Alive

Death of a friendship
It’s a strange thing
Feeling like you’re there
Feeling like you’re nowhere
Sensing what we had
Distasteful nothingness
Delivered on an empty platter
Of whatever is nothing
A forked tongue of fruit
That used to be something
Now just pacifies everything
Take it slow sounds more like
End of the road for me
That’s okay
At least we can be certain
Of one thing

Mourning our deaths
Even though we’re both still alive

© GÄ

What Did You Feel

Was it real?
Did you feel
What you said you felt?
Now I have to question
All the things you said
And maybe it’s because
We never went to bed
And maybe it’s because
You can’t control me
Like you control everyone else
Or maybe it’s because
It wasn’t real
How did you feel
My recent conclusion
Comes from waves of outer space
Knowing that you could just be
A comet burning brightly
In and out of my existence
Just an outline to erase
Though we had years
To rediscover one another
I may not have been what you need
In this phase of your life
And I can’t need you
To be there for me
In ways that you’re
Incapable of being
Discovered
Too bad it feels
Too late

© GÄ

Boomerang

When I say that it hurts
When I tell you that you hurt me
You only say I hurt you too
You say you’re doing things
Too busy to respond
To any calls from my love
To all the texts from my heart
You couldn’t be bothered really
Inconvenient love
That’s me
I want to hear you say
I’m sorry that I hurt you
I’m sorry I’m too busy for your love
Too much going on
To share a moment at the time
That I needed you
Don’t ask this of me
You say
I give what I can
Not what you need
And when I say that it hurts
You only say that I hurt you too
You only say I’m busy
I’ve got things to do
Inconvenient love
Tell me you miss me
And then tell me to go away
How can I tell you that it hurts
When you can’t see me
I want to believe that you love me
But it’s always on your terms
It takes a long time
For the heart to relearn
How to love when the love
The heart loves isn’t loved
In return

GÄ

Repeat Offense

I get most things that I want
She said
That is true
Except for one thing
And that’s you
I recalled

Constant
Unfailing
Unwavering
Love
That’s all
I want to be
I recalled
That’s all
Just that
Like a dog
Constantly
Full of and
Giving love

Lapping at the
Cheeks of adoration

Is this sweat or tears
Chopped up logs of fear
Or are you the fireplace in me?
I rub my fingers together
Rough like crocodiles
Two matches
And a pile of ashes

Is the attraction just an image
Or a person
Same people
Same outcome
Looking for a different one

I began to love the sound
Of her leaving
But of course
I missed her too
The way a person
Misses the apples
In their absence
From the orchard
In the winter
Although they’ll be
Invited back

Unlike her

Some things are hard
Some things are soft

And apples bruise

GÄ

On My Back

Make room for better breathing
He says confidently
As if breathing any other way
Were possible although
Believing in any possibility
Is a gratifying occasion
For the rest of what is left
Pursed between my lips
Poised beneath my hips

The sun burns up things
When the air is too hot
Kind of makes you miss the snow
Except for when it’s snow
That you’ve got

I took a step sideways
To catch my momentary balance
And gathered inventory
For all of those that have yet
To get back to my last text

I am aware of especially one

GÄ

Not Me

She wants me
I want him
He wants her
She wants me
I want him
He wants her
No relief from
The burning desires
If I was her
He would want me
If she was him
I would want her
How can I be
What he wants
If I am not her
And she is
Not me

GÄ