When I say that it hurts
When I tell you that you hurt me
You only say I hurt you too
You say you’re doing things
Too busy to respond
To any calls from my love
To all the texts from my heart
You couldn’t be bothered really
Inconvenient love
That’s me
I want to hear you say
I’m sorry that I hurt you
I’m sorry I’m too busy for your love
Too much going on
To share a moment at the time
That I needed you
Don’t ask this of me
You say
I give what I can
Not what you need
And when I say that it hurts
You only say that I hurt you too
You only say I’m busy
I’ve got things to do
Inconvenient love
Tell me you miss me
And then tell me to go away
How can I tell you that it hurts
When you can’t see me
I want to believe that you love me
But it’s always on your terms
It takes a long time
For the heart to relearn
How to love when the love
The heart loves isn’t loved
In return

Repeat Offense

I get most things that I want
She said
That is true
Except for one thing
And that’s you
I recalled

That’s all
I want to be
I recalled
That’s all
Just that
Like a dog
Full of and
Giving love

Lapping at the
Cheeks of adoration

Is this sweat or tears
Chopped up logs of fear
Or are you the fireplace in me?
I rub my fingers together
Rough like crocodiles
Two matches
And a pile of ashes

Is the attraction just an image
Or a person
Same people
Same outcome
Looking for a different one

I began to love the sound
Of her leaving
But of course
I missed her too
The way a person
Misses the apples
In their absence
From the orchard
In the winter
Although they’ll be
Invited back

Unlike her

Some things are hard
Some things are soft

And apples bruise

On My Back

Make room for better breathing
He says confidently
As if breathing any other way
Were possible although
Believing in any possibility
Is a gratifying occasion
For the rest of what is left
Pursed between my lips
Poised beneath my hips

The sun burns up things
When the air is too hot
Kind of makes you miss the snow
Except for when it’s snow
That you’ve got

I took a step sideways
To catch my momentary balance
And gathered inventory
For all of those that have yet
To get back to my last text

I am aware of especially one

Not Me

She wants me
I want him
He wants her
She wants me
I want him
He wants her
No relief from
The burning desires
If I was her
He would want me
If she was him
I would want her
How can I be
What he wants
If I am not her
And she is
Not me

Make Believe

I’m a witness to a resurrection
Of myself transforming waves in
Ways of understanding
Parts of myself that were
Once held up in a
Pierced delay
An oceanic reaction
Caught in the potential distraction
Of who is who in which
Reality before we ever
Fall backwards into
Whatever wasn’t anyway
But oh how I love
To play make believe

Around Us

Swirled up swirled down
Dip your finger in me
And swirl it around
Maybe in Alaska there
Is less heat to go around
Maybe the moths are happier
Take off running
Into the distance
Into the sound
I have a clever way of
Balancing the ups and downs
I like to monitor the waves
Whenever you’re around
Detaching from my intergalactic
Outer spacial crown
King of the unknown
Master of all invisible forces
I spread my arms out like wings
Set to fly above the organ keys
Just a minute piece of
What’s left dripping
In the outer bounds of
Nature grass and earth
Ready to give birth to
New comings even if I
Do not have a womb
Too many questions
Not enough answers
Resting my head
Upon your shoulder
Just before bed
Is it all still left unsaid
Just a caraway seed
And a bubbling head
A nonsensical way
To relax into
The perfume that ascends
Around us

© GÄ

Unrequited Love

Unrequited relinquish me
My indispensability leaves me
Like the leaves leave the trees
Open and vulnerably waiting
Just to see if he may consciously
Play dumb while his smile
Inadvertently romances me
The wit, the charm, the desire
For his arms reciprocally
Is there no escape
From this complex quality
Of love that cannot be
Exchanged equally
Is it indefinitely held
Suspended like a favorable sweet
Able to touch it but still
Somehow out of reach
Unrequited victim to myself
Addicted to this euphoria
Should it lead me to
Anxiety should it paint a path
Of negativity an embarrassment
To be held here by myself
In chains that only I sustain to be
What will become of me
In this unrequited love
Protagonistic means
To conjure covetable dreams
An unrealistically portrayed
Imaginary painting of our need
To be together differently
Than how we are in current sync
Unrequited love unselfishly
Accepting forlornly the suffering
In love euphorically deceived
Relinquish me for I cannot
It seems with years
Wrapped round my legs and arms
Of wanting this to be
More than it’s capable of being
I will not give away the friendship
I will not give away the time we’ve spent
I would not know how to
Relieve this
Even if I tried and I have tried
To turn it off
To name the moment
To kiss the stars
Unrequited love
It will always live with me
Just as you always will you see
Be locked inside my seams
I made an honest mistake
When I met you
To fall in love for you
Was not what I intended
Was not what I intended
Was not what I intended
But I believe
Even if it was never meant to be
My depth of love for you
Cannot be easily deceased
Nor could I know
And when from which way
Would I even fain retreat

© GÄ

I Have a Disease

I have a talking disease
I can’t seem to stop my lips
From speaking these things
I have a talking disease
It puts my trembling heart
At ease
At ease

I have a sharing disease
I can’t seem to stop my arms
From hugging everything
I have a sharing disease
It satisfies me just to please
To please
To please

I have a kissing disease
I don’t want to keep my mouth
Away from thee
Away from thee

I have a loving disease
An I can’t stop loving you disease
What a beautiful sickness
What a glorious flu
What a wonderful infection
Can you see what you do?

© GÄ