Pendant

To push beyond the limits
Of uncompromising feeling
Uncomfortability is reaching
Into grasp deeply at the
Sky and touch the stars
In such a way that you feel
Parts of yourself which are
Hard to face hard to see
Difficult to look down
Or back upon into your
Own heart and eyes
In the shadow of yourself
Standing in the light with
Nothing to keep you
From opening the door
To your own soul

© GÄ

Wedding Bells

She gave him that cover
A protection to hide under
There are countless ways
To open a door

I got on my knees
In front of my step mother
And said it’s not your fault
We were forced to be together
Thank you for trying to
Love me I always wanted
To be loved by another mother
I want my dad to be happy
I want a complete family
I want my mom to be happy
I want a complete family
I didn’t recognize her
She tried to pull me up
But she also understood

There was a family that
Offered to host my wedding
I didn’t say no but
I also didn’t know them
I was amazed by all the family
That showed up which
Wasn’t mine

So kind that I said yes
In our celebration of beautiful foods
I’ve never seen prepared
Dishes that stood like
Beautiful colored towers
I asked her to introduce everyone
So I could be familiar with the
Entire room and she did
In this moment now found
I stood up on the table and
Made an announcement
As well about all the family
That I had that didn’t
Show up for my wedding
And all the ceremonies
I went to I exclaimed
I had an entire family
On one side that didn’t show up
My Aunt Cheryl’s wedding
I began my Aunt Cindy
We all had to wear pastel like
Easter I shouted!
My dad and his second wife Nancy
And even my uncle Dan and
His second wife Judy
As I began to lose my voice
I asked for a microphone
Someone brought me one
He was tall and black
And had an unkempt Afro
All natural like the day he
Was born and
With a mic in my hand
I started to sing with
What little voice I
Had left
It’s strange when you
Actually start to care about
The things that matter
Nothing else that’s
Forcing you to pay
Attention to it does

© GÄ

Heartattacking

Standing in the midst of
What I thought might be
The most epically beautiful
Poise to the existence of
Unlocking the code to love
I found myself stomped on by
An agression and entitlement
Of a passerby an unknown
A human who probably
Needed love the most and
In that moment of standing
In a shower of his spit
And fear and rage I found
Myself exclaiming that I was
Only trying to save his life
And yet his own intentions
Of provoking whatever is the
Opposite of love be it anger
Or something stronger
I felt myself in shock as if
I could not be more
Challenged by the universe
To express love in true
Composure completely
In a way that says I am
Looking out for you
So many people might
Lose their lives if we
Don’t speak up for
How important it is to
Value one another
Drained and steamrolled
As I was after such a
Horrible confrontation
I felt so alone asking if there
Was no one that could understand
How vulnerable I felt to
Opening the door to
Universal love and being
Shouted at in such a way
That could tell me to
Believe it didn’t exist
But there was truly
Nothing in me that was
Willing to accept any
Possibility that the only
Reason for my existence
Would be trampled and
Smothered out by the
Likes of someone who
Absolutely didn’t know me
Or could not see my
Desire to encourage
What we are surely left with
Only emptiness and
A desire to know
What love can actually be
If only I could
Imbue it upon you
With less than words
Vacant touch
Push through those
Dark sunglasses
Like a frequency to say
If it’s worth dying for
It’s worth loving for

© GÄ

Drum

Falling in love with
The outsides of people
Realizing you’re molding
The insides and then
Maybe not forever on earth
Maybe just for a shaping
In a short time
Until they move on from you
Why fall in love with
People that cannot
Fall in love with you?
Romance is precious
Intimacy the thing we
All wonder if truly
Exists we ask ourselves
If it’s real and we see others
Who seem to be
Experiencing what we
Aren’t sure how to
Find digging a hole
In the backyard or
Scratching through the
Concrete on the sidewalk
Just to get down
To the crust of the earth
Maybe the heart of things
Drum the drum
Make the sound that
Beats for some that
Know the calling of
True love for this
Is that time
Woody cracks
Sacred snaps
Pdum pdum
Ratatat bom
Bom bom
My heart calls
From the core
Of the earth
To the ones
Who hear a same
Recalling of sweetness

© GÄ

Tenu

It sounds sad
But it’s not actually
Watering the world
Around us
Pouring anguish
Out of the heart
Eyes won’t stay open
Just to think about
Love in a completely
Different way
I am
Remembering what
I thought it was and
An absence of my
Heartbeat
Somewhere in between
Less skipping
More tripping
But the intensity
Is driving fiercely
Wake up
Wake up
Is anybody home
Knock knock
Knock knock
Phone home
I want you I need you
I love the deep
It’s all a fantasy
Unreal
What I had was
Exactly as
Beautiful as it was
And what we wanted
Was almost there
But also waiting
To hold you
Holding me
Holding us

© GÄ

Smalling

What part of your life
Isn’t intense
Do you correlate
Intensity with passion
Think of the wins
Don’t focus on the losses
He said driving
Down the road
Fighting his whole life
To have people like him
To befriend this
As if something were
Unacceptable?
Not so much approval
But to be loveable
And if someone didn’t
Return that perhaps
To share that affection
Somehow I failed in
Being loveable
Will there be sound
After we die?
Are we holding
Ourselves back?
We love the outside
But the inside cannot
Love us the way
We think it will be
Reimagining

© GÄ

Abeyance

Myrmidon passion
No fear for love really
I could start again
Anytime

Married myself
Ring on both fingers
Had one on each
For two others
Now for myself
What’s left
To burn

Keeping alive
That’s a thing right?
Aren’t we all doing that!

Think of a time in your life
When something important
Was hanging in the balance
Paused, unresolved, waiting…
Am I

Waiting to shape
The eventual outcome
Found in the “in-between”
A state more frustrating
Less like irritation
More like fertile thoughts
For reflection

There’s no overreacting
No overriding just
A beautiful abeyance
That swings in the air
Gives way like a pendulum
A sound or a bit that is
Hinderless to the ears

Feel you feel me
Deservingly quenched

© GÄ

Ikke!

Tempestuous predicament
Preposterous considering
Breathe in breathe out is
Just the normal thing
Busy living our lives
Keeping up sliding in
All things trying
To find a system
That goes

You know I form these
Deeper connections
With people all the time
Why give that up?
What was the point
Of building the stadium
An arena for love
Watching it escalate
Just to tear it down
Or pretend it’s medical

It wasn’t necessary

How long will it take
To get past it
When the first guess
Was right and you
Went for the second
It was wrong!!
Let it go, there will be
Another chance

Another day

Love is a very reckless thing
What is important and
What is tragic?
Questioning

Would being blind
Make it any easier?

I’m sorry I’m late

© GÄ

Begending

Our realities are made up
By the worlds we surround
Ourselves with and I find myself
Settling as a house might
Crackling and burrowing
Into the ground

Maybe I’m just tired
Of keeping up or possibly
Creation knowing full well
There could be more
In some other place
In some other way
This is not it
This is not all
That there is

Halfway mark
Feels like a dead end
Maybe all that can be
Accomplished is already
I’m not sure what will be
Longer or shorter
Revel in the new
Forget about the future
Fishbowl

When we scratch off
The top layers and
Keep finding our way down
Do we have a place to
Go or end up
Keep going
Start over
Keep going
Maybe nothing

Sweet voices
Of children
Just beginning

Today felt like
An ending
So early

© GÄ

Flashing

She wanted me to braid her hair
I sat up in bed and began to braid
A single blonde braid down the
Back of her head and she needed
To find her friend so she left
I followed her out to wait
And found a very attractive man
Laying on a couch on the porch
Outside, asking if I could share
His space with him laughing he
Obliged I couldn’t remember the
Last time I laid on a couch
With a stranger and somehow
I felt like I had known parts of him
His story flashing a little before my
Eyes of his home and one of
His lovers kissing him outside
On the front lawn though I had
Never visited I remembered being
When she returned she brought
Me three nicely folded pairs
Of jeans and a pile of one dollar
Bills some torn and some folded
As I tried to count the money
I realized I wasn’t finished with
Her hair she had unbraided it
And she was happy and glowing
She said I needn’t finish, that we
Had completed it and she liked
It as I helped count through the
Money to determine a charge
I was distracted by some peacock
Feathers on the wall that I began
To braid underneath as one would
French not Dutch and you could
See the glimmer of the multifaceted
Colors clamoring back into
My eyes reflecting a myriad of
So many experiences as I
Finished the owner of the café
Walked by, and I saw my friend
Timmie whom it had been so…

…many many years I embraced her and asked her how she was.

She cried a bit and said
You don’t remember me you
Have forgotten me all these years
And I reminded her that it wasn’t
True that I had sent cards and letters
Thinking of her often her tears
Began to dry and her face changed
A bit and we both realized that
We didn’t know one another at all
And in fact we were new friends
I looked a way as her face had shifted again
As I turned back her skin had gotten
Much darker and she looked very
Different in fact her entire person had
Changed to he who was French perhaps
Caribbean or African I wasn’t sure
But I was excited to make their
Acquaintance he said in an accent
“Maybe your friend doesn’t speak
French haha!” He looked at me with
Small eyes pushed close together
And two tiny gold teeth in front
With crosses on them standing
Out a bit almost buck-like
I couldn’t contain my excitement
I said, “Tu parle le français?!!”,
And put my hand out to him
Enchanté ! He observed me without
Speaking and turned half of his
Face away and I exclaimed, “D’accord!”
Only if to say, you don’t want to know
Me?? Well fine then… twisting away
I ended up back at the table counting
The ones to give back to the girl
Who had taken out her single braid
Happily enjoying her wavy hair
Which was now also multicolored
As she lay on her stomach with her chin
Lightly placed over folded hands patiently
Waiting to receive whatever amount
I had come up with the number
Forty-five kept ringing back to me
As it were I was satisfied with any
Number or no number of bills
Overall the experience was
Plenty enough to afford the beginning

© GÄ