Geino Äotsch

Window

My normalcy is electronic
Insanity world crashing down
No video stalemate a wall
Most vulnerable and
Succulent for the taking
I stood at the window
Of my back porch
Barefoot and oblivious
Repeating
What’s next!
What’s next?
Many of us want to be
Held I’m sure today
I felt that way a bit more
Like I was hoping to
Crawl back into bed with
Someone or even bolster
Up some gladitude
Knowing I had nowhere
To be or go but back into
Some silly situation
In a messy bed
But the grey sky
Offered me many delights
Knowing that if not today
Some other

Better Ideas

Can we overstream?
Exploit the bandwidth
All too often many of us
Take so many nothings
And turn them into somethings
A confluence of almost
Fate like circumstances
Leading us to be
Captured by the enemy
Believing our only hope
Is left to the art of
Abandoning ourselves
According to fate
And spiral notebooks
What then shall we do
To entertain ourselves
Catch fire to the ends
Of our robes and run
Madly through the hallways
Of some less than favorable
Hotel that was easy to
Book because no one else
Wanted to stay there?
Write poems to one another
Read them and then
Roll them up into
Wands of sage or
Peace pipes and
Smudge one another?
Actually sounds like a
Great weekend if
You haven’t any better ideas

Stranger

You never look so hot
As when you’re flipping me off
Hand out the window
Even with a cigarette
So morose and yet
So delicious I can
Taste the salt in the air
From the crevices
Of your fingers
You make me a hedonistic
Lap lazy version of myself
Only wanting to taste you
Only wanting to smell the
Back of your neck
Is that what you meant
When you gave me the bird?
I’m nobody’s whore
But I could go a few rounds
With a stranger like you

Blue Jungle

She knew that I was beautiful
On the inside mostly innocent
My god why is it so empty
Sand ridden and desolate
All the things I shared and
Everything that was built
A hope for something treasured
Like a seed that would
Grow into a tree to meet
A steel bridge of memories
All my lights were blinking
In the traffic of my heart
And there you were
I’m not sure what this is
All about
I’m falling apart
And never felt so whole
I can think of nothing
That would bring me
More delight almost
Like I’ve caught a slight
Case of amnesia
In a magnificent
Moment of time
Fragrant like a blue jungle
Swept away by the
Breeze of tomorrow
Stricken with outrageous
Opportunities dripping
From the end
Of my future

Behind Me

I saw my life flashing
Before me but not in
The way that I pictured
It would be
Somehow smarter
Than before and
A little louder than I
Ever recalled living it
But, it honestly didn’t matter
Once the end found its way
To the beginning of a dream
My smile was captivated
Fool poem of my love
Fool poet for my love
Obliterating me with
Your kissing matter
Your selfish warmth
Laid me down before the sun
On a blanket of
I don’t know what until
I suddenly remembered
I had to go to work
Not for you or for me
But for the sake of
Our unknown future
And so I quickly gathered
Myself and finished
Brewing the coffee
Closing the morning door
Behind me

Retinue

Hold back every dream
If it means to have one with you
Quiet my everything
Outside the custody of clouds
Like foggy memories
Passing their way through
A messy doorway that
Wants to find clarity
But the night vision
Is broken and the
Daylight doesn’t come
Fast enough but yeah
Love to return to that place
Where it was easy to love
Hang out on the couch
And talk for hours
Watch the sky roll by
Count trees
Walk around the block
Trip over cracks
In the sidewalk
Have nowhere to go
With you

Occasionally

How do you paint me
When I’m not in the room
It’s demeaning to think
You want to believe
That you can be there
For me like old friends who
Pick up the phone or
Answer the call in a
Time of need but too often
I have trouble reaching out
When I call and you have to
Go to take a lunch call
Or go because someone
Is on their way home or go
Because you’re watching
A show or go
Because dinner preparation
Requires it so…
Go, go, GO!
Be there for the one you love
No harm is done
No harm is done
Just know that when you say
I’m here for you
You really can’t be
Because you’re already here
For the person you’ve
Committed to be
I’m just the pal you recall
From a fun time ago
Packed with memories
Full of a time spent as kids
I’m happy to share what a show!
That history with you
And accept what that means
To be the person you can only
Touch base with occasionally is me

Solo

I loved so hard
So many
Did I give up or
Did I lose touch
Where did we go
Am I still alive
I can feel the end
But I’m still breathing
I thought I would be
Already gone a wisp
Not quite tortured
But my feeling of love
Has been completely
Torched now standing
Out of the line of fire
Save yourself
To be alone
Why do people say
They are always there
When in all actuality
They are not?
Is that what we call
Wishful thinking
Or is it just a lie

Gathering

Family and community
I remember having those
People those characters
All around me the dynamic
Of what’s happening now
Eventually as I got older
I felt more susceptible to
Pain to emotional agitation
More awareness in general
Tripping over my self-care
I found myself holding
Onto peace with a glimpse
Of eternal emptiness
However painless there are
Still moments to climb over
There are still many rivers
Full of feelings of which
To coast or float and
Of these parallel worlds
The question rises up
With sincere curiosity
Are we to protect ourselves
From the pain of coexistence
Or rather bathe in the delight
Of it’s unpredictable nature
To succumb to inevitable hurt

Avowal

I wanted freedom and validation
She gave me both of those
Even with the kiss of goodbye
To a boy who would have been
Lucky enough to receive one
At all but she gave me that
And freedom and validation
Through all of that she gave me
Peace and confidence when
I had nothing to hold onto
Even if it was temporary or
Just a blip in time she shared
That part of what it means
To embrace myself and the
Worth of a thousand horses
Running wild treasuring
Their hooves of independence
On the earth like sunlit mirth
On their backs I can see myself
I can hear myself and feel
What it is to be inside myself
Again for the first time
In a long time again