not – Poétique

Not Me

She wants me
I want him
He wants her
She wants me
I want him
He wants her
No relief from
The burning desires
If I was her
He would want me
If she was him
I would want her
How can I be
What he wants
If I am not her
And she is
Not me

GÄ

Sorry

If my joy makes you angry
I’m not sorry
If I’m not perfect
I’m not sorry
You can yell at me all you want
I’m not sorry
Take your aggression out on me
I’m not sorry
There’s no excuse for bad behavior
But mistakes can be made
Just try not to
You’ll see
I let you exert yourself
Vomit your emotions all over
I’m not sorry
Do you feel better now
Pandemic’s can be ugly
Isolation can be a beast
Is this what yours looks like?
I’m not sorry
Scream at me from your front porch
Flip me off in traffic
Take your anger out on me
I’m not sorry
I grew up poor
I know how to make do with nothing
I can make love for free
Maybe I could make you love me
I’m not sorry

Not Knowing You

My love got buried in my hurt
Because they didn’t think
It mattered that all things
Wake up together
Or at least we thought
We could
We might
We should
Wake up together
More than once
More than twice
Even more than
Three times
Three finger strokes
Along your back
Count the stones
Along your spine
Name each one
The compassion of our bones
Like xylophones
Singing to one another
Through the hammer
Of our hearts
I left my disappointments
In a basket by the sea
The path of embers
Underneath my feet
Led my most important
Self above the sand
Where once was buried
The pain of
Not knowing you

Not Everyone

Many moons ago
My grandmother had said
Not everyone is
Going to be your friend
Why don’t they like me
I’ve wondered to myself

Time and time and time again

You’re just too nice
I’ve heard some say
So I can’t stand you
Go away!

No matter where you go
No matter where you tread
You will always find a foe
Who will wish that you were dead

You don’t have to say or do
Anything to cause this truth
It exists solely with or without you

People will be jealous
People will be hateful
People will accuse you
Of many things
And act distasteful
You can be true to who you are
You can shine your brightest light
You can come at them with love
And they will hate you
Just for spite
There is nothing you can do
To convince them to love you
There are no words you can write
To open up their hearts and eyes

No matter where you go
No matter where you tread
You will always find a foe
Who will wish that you were dead
Many moons ago
It was my grandmother who said
Not everyone is
Going to be your friend

Not My Hand

One drop two drop three drop

—Four
How many drips till we settle the

—Score
You could make your home with

Just as the heavens cohabitate
With the clouds
Just as clouds coexist with the stars
Just as stars commingle
With the moon
Just as one bed is
Big enough for two
I am with you
But also
You don’t have to

Independently we can share
These things
Visit upon them
Occasionally
There is no command
To therefore be
The authority on co-anything

Even if it’s not my hand
You’re holding

Not So Distant

What is beautiful
When it floats past you
A glimmer of hope
Or the smoky essence
Of a dream that you
Have been waiting
To appear to you
In waking life
Before your eyes
Would we know it
I think I do
When I look at you
To find the words
Only a picture
A fantasy
So far away
Like you
But real
A connection can be made
Regardless of the
Distance
Turning over in my bed
Thoughts rolling in my head
These sheets are empty
Yet so full
Miracles of touching you
In my sleep astrally
I heard your voice
You said a name
Was it a place?
Should we meet there
I’ve never been
I opened up my atlas
To determine just how
Far you actually are
It’s a village
An actual space
I’ve never heard of it before
But you made sure
I understood the words
Never to forget
The name
Repeating it again
And again
I woke up with your voice
An echo of your words
Arresting my lips

For Us

For everything we’ve fought for
For ourselves
For our loved ones
For our animals
For the kindred fire
That burns between us
Even for those that didn’t
Necessarily love us
We fight through the tears
We ask questions like why?
Is this punishment?
Let it be said that
All of this is happening
For us not to us