Geino Äotsch

Crepuscular

Like a sargassum washed up
Why do they create
Nasty words for people that
Want to be kind to one another
If you talk like that must be
Meant as a joke and I’ll be
Pleased to ignore it

Watch the stars shine up
On the curve of my back
A hump like a hill on the
Crest of the prairie
Where something treasured
Was once buried

Listen listen listen
It’s the best thing we can do
Different life zone uprising
In the horizon pink and blue
Silhouette of our hue

White clouded arches
Less confusion more stars
Disillusionment is a myth
Akin to being locked into
Your clothes when they
Are just as easily unzipped
Or unbuttoned

Peevish

Too much makeup
And the current state of
Affairs that want to
Kill the peace

Fuck the system
You can hear them shouting
Outside loud and smug

Of course we want to
Join in grab a stake in the
Accusations that are
Tearing us apart
As the world does

Tuck it away
All the money they will take
Let it carry you away
From your passion
The things that make you happy
Never babe

That’s their way of
Hanging you upside down
And out to dry

Riding you hard
Sent to bury you alive
Live desperately
Crave absence

Only drowning and
Self suffocating

And barely breathing
We turn the corner
It makes perfect sense
To hang around

In case something
Better happens

Fighting for what you love
To stay alive

Denigrate

She didn’t really take to him
Or like him very much
It was an obligation
Unlike the others
Who just loved him
Who had no reason to
Despise a little boy

She only had one reason
To like him for his father
But it was also too late
For that

If she already hated
The past the things
She couldn’t grasp
By the throat and
Extinguish

What would we have left
But slaps across the face
Arguments about the place
Where things belonged
That she didn’t really care about

Who pitted them against
One another and did his
Mother make it harder
Or easier

Knowing that looking back
The decisions were
Never his own

Like a ghost in the wall
Scratching at the
Alternatives

Play dress up
When no one is around
Pretend to be something
Likeable

Never caught and
Never found

It’s the end of the beginning
Years of trying to push it out
Who’s growing up inside
Figuring it out maybe
Thirty-eight years later

It could have been better
If someone stepped in
Another chance to
Be a whole human

But the rest of us
Are left to figure it out
On our own

Labile

Easily altered his mind was
Tinkered with over time and
In the end he couldn’t remember
What really happened and
What didn’t ineffectual

Just to be loved and cared for
Turned into what can you
Give me do for me work for me

Nobody told me that what
You experienced was war the
Opposite of love

Meant for Hollywood
Born in the woods
Not much to write home about
Talented kid

Where did the rest of it go
All the good for nothing but stone

We had friendship
Somehow forgotten
We hand kinship
All of that vanquished
By the darkness

That couldn’t love what
That couldn’t accept
That wanted the worst
For the rest of us

And he woke up smiling
Remembering a different time
Washed over by forgiveness
In a way that no one needed to
Discover remission
Uncover compassion
Disasters of a plague

Family can do that
That’s why we make friends

Throwback to both
Immediately and momentarily
I was in control only because
I knew not to be actually
Pretty damn close to where
I was supposed to be
All my memories are here
Tucked inside my favorite
Pillow for the best sleep

What verdant dreams
Why do I feel without you
That I am lonely
Is this a message
That is only
A case of your love

My love for you is ready
To describe the most
Important thing it sees

In my eyes, your eyes, you rise
Cover me so sweetly
That I won’t get out of bed
Now how to tell you
I don’t want to be anywhere else

A place in my mind
I wait for you to find

Cozen

An overt covert mission
Lighter thief and alien chief
Salty lips with tight grips
A blissful glacier cycling
In order to retrieve clarity
From ignorance peacefully
Lying solely in our ability
To do so between we annoy
We revolt and we cannot see
Hire a martian to do the work
Pillow perfect dilute the
Experiment in a sandbox of
Soft explosions and
Scraped up knees play
In the court of existence
Open the galaxie’s mouth
Sleepwalking through the gate
Each promise stands to
Create a coincidence
Safety strategy
Trickery effectively
Express your importance
Treasure those that treasure you
UFO’s the heart can feel
Fly above your head appeal
Thumping in your chest
Dialectical dressings
Lights you don’t remember
Choosing left

Foyer

Questioning his behavior
He ran down the back stairs
To burn all of his leftover
Belongings in the fire pit
Outback closer to the ground
With the fish near the pond

An appetite for connection
Holding back the curse words
Fat chance for finding his way
Back up the stairs after
Years of caring with
Passion and fatigue

Tattoo me vividly across the wall
Take back love take back
The gifts in the eyes of failed
Spells and private alchemy

Blood before me
How many times was he
Dreaming as a child
Headrest on a turntable
When will love become
A fact of the matter

Is fated anesthesia just a
Casual experience or a
Basis for physical exhalation
Who’s the designated driver
Anyway?

Strolling to the gas station
Another bottle of liquor
Quickly no, quicker
Before we fall down
And our legs buckle out

Would anyone know
Loving someone so much
Could be so expensive
Before they signed up for
Aspects of what appeared to be
An indestructible flame

Too persistent to resist
What comes within us
Ascending that consciousness
And all the birds of tension
In the world flying
Off his chest

(ЯEPEAT)…

Someone made a noise
They didn’t want you to repeat
Or hear by not making it
Loud enough for us
To conceal

What would I ask God
In this moment?
I almost fell completely off the cliff
I want to finish something
No, I want to finish
Everything
Now

Are there really any strangers
Who are we supposed to be
Avoiding?

It’s your turn
I’ve gotten a bit sloppy
Sharing more than usual
Slogging to connect with you
Deeper

At times I didn’t think I would
Make it here with or without
A cigarette or an excuse
Hungry for reality
Starving for a fantasy

End goal make something
Out of yourself time, time
No testing the system
No game playing, baiting, blind
Is there an order to existence

Being, a, uhhh
Where is my concept of being?
The cast would open doors
Happening but as it is now
Work hard to become last
Something for the wrong reasons
Kapow

Responsible heartache
Absent blank status
Rejection is security
Laying it out into a
Quilted unattainable
Devotion

Gein-za

Confucianismes love
Beyond the family there is
A lifelong journey
A certain…
Wherewithal

Undoubtedly we
Wish to carry with us
One greater goodness
Without themes of life
Bearing witness to our
Unforgettable scars
Bleeding internally
From the heart

Homesick, lovesick
Wanted only by ourselves
In the memory of needing

Stamping away at the ground
A perfect sun outlined
In the tacky edges of
A magnetic appeal
Forcing the heavy lids
To erode and rise against
Bitterness

I’ve hoped to catch the moon
In a yellow river of grief
Woven together in rippled
Sacrificial numbers of disunity
Maroon prophesies
Dripping from my lips
And ancient light
Echoing from
Our wrists

Celebrate the basis
For a lifetime lived
Friends departed
One final kiss

Muditā

If I lived up to the
Loss of what everyone
Wanted to replace this with
I would have been
A miraculous man lest
My bones are sore
Perhaps I entangled myself
Beyond unraveling

Just like the canary
Singing at night
For the first time
Heart opened wide
Willing to share what
Wasn’t known in vulnerable
Moments enchanted by
A certain muditā

Altruistic joy
You share with me
What I feel too belongs to you
And to us a countess to
Compassion

Say what you mean
To mean what you say
Twenty seven minutes later
And we’re still arriving
In our favorite place
Together residing
In the other

Author: Geino Äotsch