Geino Äotsch

Pellucid

If all the light in the room
Could pass through me
Would I find you there?

Less questions
More answers

A grand scale
In the difference between
What weighs enough
And what doesn’t weigh
Anything at all

Which knows which me
When is it the other one?

Depending on if you ever want to
You can never not to
So I dug deeper
Asked for the check
My pocket held a piece
Of what was there
From before and what I
Thought for sure could only be
Pellucidly felt compelled and still
Removed to unveil the mask
That held back everything against
A sympathy and meaning to
Manipulate the lines I found
We drew on paper or otherwise
All just so you could love me with
One hand on the wheel

Flickering

Maybe we shouldn’t
Disturb the bones of what
Once was or what were?
That’s it! Get on your
Hands and knees and scrub

Hot tea with rum and little cakes
If only to fulfill a tragic destiny
I don’t think I’d be afraid without you
I’m not so boring after all
Surprisingly pleasant

Do any of us deserve happiness
Questionably a table has been set
For just an event like this
Salt at the tongue
Sugar on my lips
What would it be to repair
A scorched bridge
How do we forget ourselves
I’ll not soon erase you
Nor my dreams

Waking up first thing
Gnawing at the brain
Hush hush
Every happiness can
Find its way through
Though love is something
We can’t command like a
A lambent neighbor

Fanfaronnade

Unrequited feelings that
Couldn’t love me the way
I hoped to feel grasping
At my ears I’m a little dizzy

Cramoisi in a rush to my lips
Giving everything with no
Expectation for return
I would tell them all about
How incredible you are
Overly boasting even

A seance of emotion
Calling all the forces in
Mumbling everything there is
To say about the world you
Left me with to protect
Myself from the things that
Couldn’t possibly move me
And love me the way one can
Read about from the texts of
Ninth century poetry like the
Sequence of Saint Eulalia
Early medieval dreams
Lest one should plot to
Chop off my head and
Throw me into a fire
I would not stitch my mouth
Shut to own all of heaven
For the truth of a fantasy love
I could prove only to my own heart
That you meant to love me
What’s all the fanfare about anyway?

Gathering the twigs underneath
Twilight he had remembered how
Impossible it was to erase the
Memory of wanting to do better
And the impeding thoughts that
Came crashing in when he opened
His eyes; my eyes peering out only
From thin slits each morning
To keep the power of a serene still
Distance that could also be a lie

But shouting to my mind
Was a gorgeous hope for
What could never be and
Perhaps what he saved
Hisself from closing the
Cellar door a manifesto to
Paint in words what only
Few will understand why
He still begat a procession
Of choked up themes
Including tears that wet the
Soil of a tender distress

Quiddity

Nobody’s meant to
Walk this earth alone
Can I wrap my head
Around you?

Remonstrate me
Take my birthday away
I’m fasting now
For your love

Hear the carnival sounds like
Their love that destroyed me in
Many ways I may have prevented
If I knew how much it would hurt
But so do many expectations and
Giving up the greatest love
To know what it looks like
To find it again is worth
Every second of the pain
Internal echoes of residual
Torture self inflicted
But only because letting go
Is impossible when the notes
Of the songs that you wrote
Are already an intrinsic
Part of these bones

Eat a sandwich
Blow your nose
Count your blessings
For those that let us go
We can always relive the memory
In our music and our poetry
In our letters and our photos
One two three
Do the next thing
Shake it off
Dig a hole in the beach
And bury that old part of me

Archery

I don’t want that old memory
I’m craving a new one
I need more time to forget
It’s a process not an event
Knife in the chest make it
All go away like the rest of
Yesterday and the stones
That are ripped apart by the
Earthquakes of everything
Happening around me but
It doesn’t matter anyway
I’m craving a new one
Turning in with the heartbeats
Of everything could be
Turning out with all the
Explosions that are honestly
Accepting things as they’re
Going to be ultimately as it is
In the interim of anything
Sad eyes lift up thine light
Buried under the grounds
If hidden moves behind the
Shutters of emotional archery
Are pulled back and stretched
Shooting for the one with existing
Leftover arrows that strike the
Hearts of grief with perfect love

Heartchatter

Chest beats harder still
Electric rhythms unexpected
If I’m honest nothing to hide
Let it all out never outspoken
I want to give you so much
More than a slice
Nothing matters when you have
Something greater in life
No one knows that you don’t
They expect that you have
A million other things to do
No crushing dreams
What you didn’t think to say
Because whatever you are doing
Is outstanding
Stretching humility

Feeling alive where
Parts of us were dead
What is freedom awakened?
We don’t need to sound like
Savages on the way
Clear the headboard
We could tear the
Seams apart
Decorate the room
With your charms
It seems harmless
Simple is good
Adorn what embellishing
Basics will like a rug on the beach
Probably all that we need
Topped off in a concert
Of your eyes and a smile
To quiet the guise of
Vibrant patterns engaged in
Boundaries crossed that
Never needed our permissions

Lifting

Lifting the tree up
By its roots like we do
When we sink our fingers down
Into the earth of one another
Are we appointing the other
Or anointing each other
Love is friendship on fire
I love you too is something
We say with our eyes
Not with our lips
I keep writing about this
Dark romance that calls
From the leaves that burn
When they’re wet from the rain
Sunlight through the prism
Of a line that leads like a rope
Towards the sky rather easy
To climb with fulfilling love
Upper body strength ascends
Up, up, up
I can’t remember when
It felt this good
Reminiscent of a daffodil
Petal at the bridge of
My everything and the scent
Of your heart like a gorgeous
Starlike jasmine that vines
Through our veins together
In the form of similar flames
On similar planes
As the essence of wet like
Tear ducts resembling the pools
In another lifetime perhaps
Exactly like Neptune or
At least as beautiful as
The Gods would have us
Believe if not in some
Dripping wet dream but a
Salty swing that rises up
From the Dead Sea where
We come to find ourselves alive

Peau À Peau

It didn’t work the way she tried it
Like an acrobatic performance
Turning me into a trapeze or a
Trampoline screaming violently
Is this a happy anger circus
Call in the clowns what
Happens next, lion taming?
My legs were jelly and the
More I thought we were
Connecting the further I
Slid away down the bed
Out the door what just happened
Woohoo ride ‘em cowboy
Let’s have a party
Not sure if I was invited
Every moment leading up to
An accumulation of
Emotions that were present
Because they exploded
From the womb like a factory
Of bliss waiting to kiss
Every part of you or him
Even eating you alive
More mascara less blush
A tavern for cocktails
Before and after with
Moody music
Something to look forward to
Do better make it worse
Something to look forward to
Cigarette on the back porch
Nothing left but the wishes
Of a gypsy after the cards were
Turned the vibe left us
Both wrenched
Better off friends

Observation

What happened to June
Was our love so noisome
That we could not bear the
Fragrance of one another
Blue broomed I chased you out
We have forgiveness still
Birds overhead when flew
Overheard what I thought
In my head questioning you
Nose to nose we meet
Making history with every
Breath we breathe and
Intimacy is running
Streaks of color up
My back and back to
Where you’re at attracted
To the magnitude
Between and then
Rejected by the
Unpredicted feelings of
Life that come and go
Same as the door squares
Opens and closes
Hang me up marked for
Battle with eye black
To reduce the glare
From sunlight and
Future arguments that
Have nothing to do with
All the roses thriving outside

Embrace

Rejecting who I’ve become
Is the art of embracing who we are
Bricks on bricks finding out
What we are in the mortar
Nothing can chase the heart away
All that binds the fire inside
Deep and wide
Fills the left side
Fills the right side
Enough love this is
Enough but there is
Never enough
Ça suffit
I will be here to
Remind you always knowing

Lay down your head
On my pillow and
In the bed we understand
Everything the sheets say
Between us everything
And nothing
Dreams seep into
Our cases of deeper meaning
Not to miss a single moment
Is my magic working
Or is it pained
Remember that I tried
To love when it cannot be
To hide her love
Behind every other woman
Except herself for me
To rescue
To defeat
Compelled by more than one feeling
To dress the place with lies
Covered in your stains
Embrace me