Geino Äotsch

Overture

What was the point of coming back
Explain the angle or the math?
She was always so good at equations
Even when she was high you know
Totally stupefied and how many petals
Covered the path to the top of
The mountains of missions and journeys
She’d climb to achieve her mystery
Hidden agendas and goals no one
Would know about perhaps not even
Herself still yet, it begs the biggest
Question: What for a reentering?

Had Neptune a signal to give her
Directions or would there be another
Symbol from the oceanic system to
Sonar her into a clicking that would
Maybe one day bubble up into a sulfide
That would surprise us all with her
Chemical experience she was a master
At her trade which was defined in
Human Resources and a refined training
In acting for any of this she was given
A premise to promise nothingness

One still begs to cry for why for? What!
If the point was to be helpful then
Why does she reappear just to disappear
Again and again might as well just be
Sitting around pantless and vulnerable
That’s the way she leaves you wondering
If she’ll ever pop her head in again
Pretend to be your forever friend
Accuse you of being the reason why
She failed you blame yourself for not
Noticing how she was trying to help

It should be enough for you and if it’s not
Well then too bad so sad still though
You may linger in your thoughts
Your heart feel ripped and wrought
When she was once a Queen!
It begs the question! What’s the point?
Why come back again just to leave?
And if to come and then deceive
Was it ever really that innocent?
Little explanation for the act of vanishing
An invisible coat for she who is disparaît
Underneath the overpass an exit

A kiss goodbye and laughter for
Freedom to the liberation of hope for
Never to be burdened by her return again
Though your love for her will not be
Forgotten and is held onto by the
Deepest of trampled on moments
Hot breath on the glass an invisible
Message that is encre invisible at its best
If your eyes are closed if you blink
You will miss it as if from this moment on

Nothing ever happened it didn’t exist yet the
Memory which is only a dream that was once
Caught parachuting from the sky
Paralyzed by the frozen altitudes
That could never deliver the comfort
Her words once promised
It was all just for fun in her eyes

Exitway

She didn’t have to
But she did it anyway
Is it resentment or just jealousy
For the loss of the family girl
She promised to be when she was
Behaving like a little devil
Wearing the past like a dress
That didn’t quite work out for the
Dinner party she showed up to
Still the history was quaint
No one knew if her decisions
Were her own but she used to
Make them all by herself
Like sitting up! Not anymore
I think I’ll stop giving people
The option you know?
She quailed, “I’ve got a mind to!”
Many are most likely to say no
Seems the brain is wired that way
Speaking of wires it’s been
A long time since a telephone call
With someone to share
The good stuff like
Heart perversions and
Reasons for taking the train
To New York but not without
A book on how to make
Good decisions and an index
On who to speak to for herself
The imagination is strong
The ties are calling her
Railroad fantasies are long

Out

Easy way out it could be considered
Take the long way home for me
Tonsorial effects kept the pennies rolling
In a somnambulating sort of way
At the time it was the only option to get by

A career did result from it so’s
Not to be waisted but feels hollow
Mostly without you being there
You can’t despise me
Any more than I despise myself
I don’t think you do at all really

Self deprecation is a personal affair
A jungle gym of insecurity you know
Running rungs one by one
Head above water that sort of stuff
But you couldn’t keep yours up
I never thought that would mean
How it sounds in this lifetime
At least even writing it down

As the days go by and we become less young
I think about youth and how much
Everything didn’t matter as much
As it does when we grow older
Shocking isn’t it? That’s sarcasm!

Struck me cold it did
Well worth finding it’s enough to
Dream of sitting in big chairs with someone
After it’s too late
Doing something of great purpose
A significance I wished for with you
Business in the future world
Now I do it for you

I can’t help but wonder if
You got the easy way out?
No maintaining bones and teeth
When you’re not on the earth
I can’t imagine any of us
Doing it deliberately but when you
Feel like the rope is frayed
It’s easier to let go of it
No need to think about
Doctors and dentistry like me
Or those of us that stick around
If you have any proclivity to stay

No drama for hysterics anymore either just
Empty promises and self preservation
Which ends on a sour note if we
Find ourselves safely wrapped in a freedom
Without hyperactively departing from the other
Or arguments with no reasoning
In a precious vault of loneliness
Who could hope for anything
But an exit
Why should we? Why do we then…

…keep going

Sublimate

Alluding to the fact that we
Needed no work because we
Had everything we wanted
I went to the store just in case
Of course there is always the chance
Life is sketching you out a new
Possible future like having another bird
Since the last one that lived with us
For eighteen years long was now gone
On the way down the aisle
Everyone can hear them as
They were all squawking to say
“Take me home!” but I wasn’t ready yet
I fell in love with a multicolored character
Locating a paper to identify
What kind of bird it may be
I brought the tag with me to the register
Just in case I changed my mind
Feels like the walk of life remains
Also the walk of death sometimes
I thought I heard someone behind me
And then a few children came bustling up
Asking in Spanish:
“¿Me preguntas dónde conseguiste tus botas?”
I knew which boots they were talking about
Still the only word I could find was zapatos!
When I looked down the boots I had
Been wearing were now some favorite shoes
I’d forgotten about from ten years before
Their father was a handsome gentleman
He thanked me and ushering them along
I was pushing forward myself I had the
Will to give up but not the strength to
Birds behind glass calling
Children laughing at mass
Everything we work for trying
To find its way to a surface of meaning
Misled by the heart balling
Innocently enough on some
Rudimentary walk that would
Prove to be magnificently mundane
Still churning for an effort
To create a particular kind of delicious butter
Out of this unpredictable eternity and
Spread it onto toast for one last bite
There’s no significance
About doing or being nothing when
Waking up is so painfully useful!
Just in time to fall asleep again
Another opportunity to make sense
Of the senseless subconsciousness

Candlelight

Dressed to impress
Let the mood soften this
Candlelight lit by the darkness
Ups and downs keep us
Spinning round knit to the
Unknown words on the tongue
Never heard or text before
Emotional suggestions of
Whole heart palpitations
Coming out from every pore
No way to really stop it the…
Want to be the complete self
In the moment but also look back
And realize how much of
It is high volume light vibration
The relief comes in waves
Whatever direction from nothingness
More passion when sharing the
Exact story saying the truth
So much more full than
Half moon coming in full sun
It’s certainly more memorable
That way even when the
Glowing is dimming

One

Just going through the motions
Sometimes that’s all you need
Maybe we do it and don’t know it
When he was particularly aware of it
He felt strange realizing that he
Was always doing it naturally before
But now it felt forced necessarily
Waiting for the light to change
Sometimes just running through it
Do we follow every rule and fail
Or are these simply guidelines
Oak trees and moss continue on
Creeping in rain like patterns
Mystical fens flowing on trees
And the random birds chirping
In the air relief from the cold hard
Winter that was approaching briefly
Before it arrived we all stood around
A fire and laughed about the
Doldrums of the past year
A Native American song was
Shaking the background and
He recalled how to be strong
Again but it was for himself this time
He was out of practice because
He was always doing it for others
Going through the motions
Reiterating structure
Humming in the us factor
Problematically difficult
When he was humming again
For one yet both sides of him
Stood ready for two of what becomes

Rebound

Veneration in a holy smoke
We elevated ok the first round
When we almost lost you
And here we are again
Hanging in tight for dear life
I remember bike rides and
Blue blankets rocking you
Into a second existence
This is your third or fourth
I almost feel shame for
Encouraging you to do it
Over and over so I’ll let you
Lead the way this time
Maybe it’s just a fever
I had new ground to stand on before
Everything that was holding me back
Was finally done and I had
Ten thousand horses behind me
Thunderous hooves to beg and to
Plead for you down on my knees
Don’t take him yet I careened
To the gods and they listened
Keeping up after three years time with me
Emotional investment is real
Once you check out I can
Love on but only as the light unfolds
Only as the story is retold
Only as your temperature goes down
Let’s sleep on it until we know
Day one again in the morning resounds
Om dreams imagining sleep

Clouding

Immense emotion after all this time
Watch the rain unwind stretched out
Into little pieces like tears on a plain
Gravitating towards the west side
You can watch the cold air billowing
Beneath your nose and the shadows
From the light above cast slick images
With the movement and the sound of
Just being present in the elementary
Shock of unknowing things such as
Later today or tomorrow or ten years
From now but we still somehow charge
Ahead different from a time like the
Ancients who were savage and didn’t
Know if they would wake up alive or dead
But a similar consciousness to note
We are still humans creating challenges
And obstructing ourselves to feel
Some form of life coasting through our
Veins in the wet country of darkness
Seeking light and other forms of life
Will I remember to be a mad scientist?
Will I remember to have fun?
When the rest of the world stops
Following all the rules
Don’t forget to open the door for someone
Be kind to your neighbors when bombs
Come down from overhead in an
Apocalyptic thread unlike rain
It won’t matter if we’re dead

Still

I had a dream last night
That I held you; scooped you up
While you were dying again
I watched you breathing slowly
I remember when your
Aptitude was faltering like this
Fading before my eyes
But still hanging onto
The breath of life
We find ourselves aching
From stress but keep moving
Of course I can’t really tell
But the shivers seem abnormal
I want to ignore the way that
You’re sleeping but
Maybe your heart is overworked
Some part of you is giving out?
I would never be ready
I’m not sure how to
Handle the exit approach
I saw you looking confused
Earlier today
So much to celebrate and then
Nothing is too great
If you’re gone
I could sing you a lullaby
Wake up alone
If I fall asleep will you still
Be there in the morning?

Synthesis

How pastiche!
Fetching after ourselves
Like we do when it hurts to remember
And also when it hurts to let go
Holding on at both ends
Maintaining the broken soul
Patching the holes
Only becomes remarkable
After you’ve been doing it
On your own for sometime
Creating our own mysteries
Hiding things from ourselves
Resonating with independent
Thoughts preparing for death
In ways that we actually cannot
Hair stands up on the back of
Your neck to warn you
An end is coming with
Coffee or no coffee
It’s out of your control
Ants march on
Some of them die
Others return
Is it an exchange of another
Soulhouse where the
Reincarnation keeps repeating itself?
How does the army
Keep going headstrong
Or headstone one way
Or the other we meet the
Meaning of both at some point
A copy of ourselves
Next timeline déjà vu