Geino Äotsch

Meritorious

Would they notice until the
Moment you disappeared?
Like a red light flashing
Or an alert that says the
Person you once loved
Isn’t on this planet any longer
Tripped and fell in the garden
Bonked his head now he’s dead
Would they wish they said
All the things they didn’t say
Because their fuming or
Dry knit stuck in their feelings
Some type of world that
Binds someone from loving
I’ve heard it called jealousy
Grudges and otherwise
Like when you’re famished
You can hardly stand it
You’re starving so you
Feed the meritorious beast
Find a gift in the basement of
Dreams and delicious wonders
Everything you cannot escape
Eurythmia gracefully speechless
Only speaking in music
Check on me I’ll check on you
Dual serenade

Pitié

Self pity flailing or
Just excessively theatrical
Moves that end up
Perhaps dramatic in behavior
Immaterial often involving
Bothered exaggerated displays
Something like
Waterfalls of emotion and a
Fire pit desire built
For attention

Physicality can describe both
Broken styles of acting in a play
Furtif or deliberate attempts to
Manifest a particular emotional
Fleeting response sucked
Out of others through
Deliberate gasps of insincere
Mountain cries

Over-the-top actions
Reverberate

Is there a void in his life if he
Forgot who his character was
Can we be friends with our past
If we commit to our future?

Floating down stream
Bloated with reason
Snapped into two streams

What is the inner dialogue
Saying right now if I can
Read behind the eyes
Between the lines
Cracks in the void
Deafening words
Chaotic lighting
Discerned

At the end of the day
Who are we really?

Mmmmm

She was tough as nails
He was sensitive like silk
Looking for a reason to love again
Find his voice and the power
To sing searching for the words

Living with uncomfortable moments
A solution to closure as none of them
Work well for living with the feelings
Stewing and gestating contemplating
Asking for an escort to usher these
Thoughts out さようなら(sayōnara)
Au revoir c-ya later alligator!
Take a break from the constant
Making it mean something

What’s my algorithm got to offer
Would you accept my hand
Take a nap with me
Or just lay here all day
Tangled up in a lot of
Nothingness

I hear the neighbors shouting
It reminds me of the peace
I currently have the privilege of
But sad eyes wonder why
Is it impossible to wait
Possessed by repeating
A similar self offense
Like pouring the same
Cereal out every morning
Into a bowl that I don’t
Really like or even
Want to eat

How many times to keep
Ourselves from doing it again?
Mmmmm

Canonical

Crying holding himself on the ground
One last act to find yourself amazing
What you ache for is crumpled up
Before you turn the lights on
Turn the lights off even though
He wasn’t alone he felt very
Especially in the darkness

Pondered feelings good
Generally a moment that was
Subjugated or just subjective
Headstands or cartwheels
Nothing left to appeal to
But maybe the piano
Making love to the keys
Again crumpled down
In front of him

Someone called me ebony
Buying time is like a chance
That won’t actually make more love
But more hate or reasons to resent
The work and ways a heart
Strives to do something well
But cannot be seen for what it is
Until it’s dead and gone
That’s when you know

Smiles don’t grow on trees
Crumpled down in front of him

Anodyne

He laid down to hold her
Like mourning a ghost
You could hear the walls howl
And her wife begged him to
Understand that she meant well
But his heart was broken and
Was screaming in his dreams
Or was it just the sound
Of a past that they all
Promised to love one another
But no matter how hard he
Tried to love her it would
Always be on her terms and he
Was keeping his pledge to do so
Making it difficult to feel loved
In return conditionally she had
Reservations and conversations with
Her mother and her lover
Her wife and every other
He always wanted to be
As important as they but never
A replacement just to
Matter as much but
There was nothing
To kill the pain just
Mourning the apparition
As he spooned her on the floor
Of their past a memorial
To friendship and love
And how he had indeed
Honestly lost her

Empty Room

Mattress in an apartment
Building not completely
Abandoned but certainly
Left behind defenestrate
Hells bells holding on
By a windowsill

Just a bit of chocolate
Could bring out my best Superman
Why is she hunting me down
Pheromones heightened
Scent of a lover or
Leftover shudders

Obviously something there
Flowers in the courtyard
Down below the whistling
Of a passerby and a possibility
Dry heat dry hump
Clothing pressed against me
Breathe deep long and wide

How did we get here anyway
It’s all so confusing yet
Laying here looking at the ceiling
Somehow I’m glad that
It happened

Are we bad or is this good?
The stoics would say it’s neither
I can hear river music in my head
Too many things to do
Before we’re dead
Many reasons to keep alive
A mattress, you and me
And an otherwise
Empty room

Infuriations

She was the cat that would scratch
A true bitch to the end!
Just a little corn to wet your whistle
Oil your joints and snap you back
Not too many now you know
Could make it harder to keep living
Words or other phrases
Dangling earrings and hymns
On the front porch
Give a stretch and a yawn
Beginning to hold onto the ideas
That maybe we could make
Something if these furies
Wait for the cows to come home
Guess the more we say the
Less there is to be talking about later
Wouldn’t want to lose sleep
Over it but it does feel good
Seeing as the right thing is said
After a long wait for a good time
Or a cuddle under the milky way

Fulfill

To be strong in the vulnerability of
Our honesty is what matters most
Making the actions you take
Not a sin or a crime but a choice
That somehow hurtles you out of
Some self sacrificing pity and into
Another realm of respect in the
Eyes of those that love and adore you

When the lightning flashes
Brightening your surroundings
Like a tournament of heartbeats
Pounding stronger one more than
The other and then the pulse of
A sky illuminated by the silver
Moon is found highlighting the truths
Where will you be if there is
An unimaginable genuineness
Holding you in its charms

What ecstasy if not for vibrant
Realizations that could free us up
Mental clouds that leave us stranded
Deep in the weeds of luscious prairies
No longer growing to push back but
Yet to offer supple fruits and grains
For the wildlife that remain there with
Beguiled rains on the horizon isn’t there
A chance that we all might fulfill
Some solo meaningful propose to a dream…

Digging

Mirror mirror make love to me
White bow tie naked or otherwise
See the boys and girls at the gym
Checking themselves out
And all the people having relationships
Not just with themselves
But with the internet
Apps and worse
The anti human curse
Standing in the garden
I think of these words
All the folks we used to write letters to
Or take the time to say I love you

In person

Make a call meet up or play
They probably wrote me off today
Thought I was a billionaire
Someone who just didn’t care
About feelings not even my own?
But in the depths I know they
Wonder what’s been going on
Miss the time we spent upon
History we made to tell the
Stories that we knew so well
Later on in life as we got older
We’re here now, we’re here!!

Where are you?

But if you’re gone away
It doesn’t matter anyway
Why? What’s the point of caring
Life is short I bet you never thought
We’d ever lost our way into a
Paradox where the internet
Opens a scope to spy and check in
On each other meanwhile
Never to converse never to
Be sure because it’s pictures
And that’s all it is words without
The beating heart behind our lips
And it’s a trip to believe we could
All settle for this one day
Which is now looking in the mirror
At yourself do you see the person that you
Hoped you turned out to be or just AI?

The internet is repeating itself

Jars

Half ass trash means
Love in the present
Let go of the past

Mentality is everything
In the age of when we
Discover our maturity and
When we have yet to know
The difference but how?

The lines are drawn with arrows
On both ends that suggest in
Both possible directions
More anger less love
Bigger heart swelling
Isn’t that the point?

Contained frustration asking
For help when it’s easy
And it makes it harder
How did it get so strained
All for the sake of love
Or something like it…

You want someone to
Feel feelings for you
Don’t you!
Wouldn’t that be easier?

Sacrifice or reparations
Force you to abandon me
So we can find peace in
Each other again
Hanging upside down
In a ferris wheel or
Maybe just trying to
Catch lightening bolts
In mason jars

Either way then or now
It’s electric