poetry – Page 7 – Poétique

Beforehand

Oh no. Now you won’t think
I’m amazing anymore
Was my behavior flagrant
Who could tell but his insides

She was my secret weapon
And my worst enemy

Would you have cared
If she resented you
In the way mine did me?

Should our lovers resent us?

I just wanted to be your friend
To somehow empower you
Find a sidewalk that never ends

Not trying to become a billionaire
And if I was, not at the expense of others
Rich with friendships perhaps
That’s a wealth to be happy for

The longer we know each other
A better possibility to deepen
Connection and also the more it
Can hurt when she says
I already have a person
Even if you were only
Best friends once upon a time

With so much healing
To be done could it be
Accomplished in the same lifetime
Finding the hours to start again
Move in from the past
Are we sulking does it show?
Is it deeply foreshadowing
What might forsake
Unprecedented possibilities
That were intended for all
That was procured in us?

Say less
Say less
Say less

Intimating that it were possible
There’s not enough money
In the world to step on our love
Incomparable fevers and
Countless cash under the mattress
Whatever you find, you can
Have it all

Say more
Say more
Say more

All I really want
Is your love

Dislimn

Holy shit! It’s happening
He said to himself as they
Began to devour one another
Next moment coming to
On the floor rolling around
So glad the thoughts inside
His head weren’t capable
Of finding their way out
On their own without
His lips which were
Currently occupied anyhow

It’s not either or
It’s both and
Snap to
Making love in a car on a
Hot summer rainy night
Going at it and getting
Away with something
Or at least it felt like it

What is it to tell our story
With passion and emotion
And then find ourselves in the
Swarmth of it all making
Concoctions of the unknown
Into cocktails that would
Keep us in a light state
Of inebriation or something
Like a burn that left a tattoo
On our skin we could
Never forget

Ask me later
Tell me now

It’s a little bit of everything
Dislimn and the beginning of new love
With all the roots we could
Possibly need to foresee
What enchanted possibilities
Awaited the absence of
Our love making and the
Start of a new chapter
In someone else’s book

Jeté

Man she gave up everything
She just threw it all in the trash
That’s my opinion and a bounty
Of sores left like open bloody
Gaping wounds that needed
Dressing but would only happen
By gift of strangers a medicine
For miracles preformed by
Flowers and a gallery of words

Left like a houseless child
In the middle of the road
But with every amenity
One could need and then
Forgotten

This town is numb
You can feel it in the air
People sleeping in the streets
Outside of grocery stores
Inside of planters I guess
We don’t know what it means
To be humane

Shirt too small, pants too big
There’s no getting out of this
Long winded stories about
A history of universal healthcare
Where do we find
What brings these things
Except in poverty
Live or die the world can’t see
What is there until it’s gone

This is my Mother Theresa complex
To care for others that have also
Been thrown away

Something

Assuming the worst
Is a broken record
Someone made a noise
They didn’t want you to hear
Quiet not making it loud enough
For anyone to observe but
Somehow you can anyway
Even talking to strangers
Is an art but you don’t
Have to prove that you can
It’s already happening
Just open your mouth
And say ahhhh
Immediately or momentarily
Grab control by knowing
How not to be in it
Pretty damn close to
Where you know that
You’re supposed to be
It’s not like you’re trying
You’re just bitching about
What’s not there
Why not go for it
Ask for yourself
Or would you rather
Just talk about what’s
Not there and
Do something about it

Rifling

Rifling through all the money
Gifts with intention
After the wedding but worse
No way to thank them
Once they were received
No names attached
All the cards on the floor
The world thought
She was wonderful
Of course I did too
But then sometimes
Only money mattered
Not who gave it to you

A better version of himself
Then even he was today
But all he could do was miss
What he couldn’t have
Which was the thing that
Wasn’t ever there
Some kind of made up
Situation in his head
Now that’s what you call
A true headache

Best self now is to
Make it over again but for
Him not for her
Self love?

The lights were low in the room
Friends coming and going
What’s next? Sex or more booze?
A night walk to a friends
Drugs were on the menu
We had the hotel so no rush
Building been in the ground
Since 1911 made it a sure thing

Funny engaged on one block
And married on the corner up
Years later small town
Finish the night and swoon
Back to the room
More love before bed?
Is that a question?
Maybe tomorrow
It didn’t feel like she knew
How to love him just yet

Uncover

It takes time to live life
To reclaim it and make it last
All the hours we give up
For what we loved and what is gone
It’s fast, but the building is slow
Kaleidoscopic shadows attached to
Pictures in our house hanging
From the walls of our hearts
The bell tower echoes
A lighthouse beam shines
White sand trickles
In the back of our minds, a clock
Ticking away like our youth
Counting cactus needles
Be an atlas detective
All the hidden parts
Yet to be discovered or
Uncovered anything
Underneath our skin
Ready to soar like a dove

Munchausen

Seems no matter my approach
She is broken to my words
She is absent to the world
Not just me

Climb through the cobwebs
With a different approach
Find your way in even if
It means that you arrive
Nowhere

Guard the back door with your life
There might be an inner fire
Under control

Histrionics or just dramatics
When I’m doing worse
She’s doing better
When I’m doing better
She’s doing worse
Like some munchausen spell
Deriving from what is a
Needless suffering or lack of
Sympathy for the abject reality
Of being alive, just a sorry kiddo
Is all you’ll get

Leading up to the
Constant replay betrayed by
Some kind of sorcery that
Keeps me ever returning to
Your oracle of death

Surface

You can ask a million times
They’ll say “okay”
But it never gets done
Disrespect the considerations
Burn the grass drink your life away
Leave the air filled with
Their audacities

Behavior that is begging for
Cremation or non existence
Nothing left to live for or
Care about so the neighbors
Just continue on this way
How can you care when
You have so little to be concerned about?
I’m the anomaly in the equation

Close my eyes play the guitar
Sing myself to sleep
Maybe ask the moon
If he has any secrets to keep
Let my voice shake
Let the worst melt through
Into the cracks between
The bed and the wall

One more time we can
Collect all the memories and
Stuff them into a tin can
Give it a kick and see
Where it lands

Happy tears
Tired years and an answer
At the end of the hall
Glowing wonder
Ask a favor
Hope the better end
Works its way up
To the surface

Dust

I’m different in relationships
She said without warning
Maybe we shouldn’t then?
I asked myself not knowing
What it meant for us

Once lovers once friends
Twice lovers again
Buy a record to forget
To care what it means
Wait to open it to listen
With someone who cares
Lingering in the background

No trumpet on a hill
No horn echoed from a
Mountain to shake the ravines
Could answer for what’s left
Kissing the grass with
Dust from the moon
Peeled fleck by fleck
Landing on my face
At half mast I swear
It was full yesterday
What is time anyway

If giving up a friendship
Is what was meant for
Us to trade I would’ve
Kept you as a friend
Instead of giving it away